


CAEL

by earlesstoothlessvagabond



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:47:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 83,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlesstoothlessvagabond/pseuds/earlesstoothlessvagabond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Found in the woods, a half-elf is healing in the Halls of the Woodland Realm. She has severe amnesia, she intermittently breaks out in a strange tongue, she is tattooed in Cirth, and the King is not very sympathetic to her plight. This takes place sometime between the Battle of the Five Armies and the War of the Ring. It is my first fanfic of this nature and I can only hope I don't upset the already extensive fanbase out there. Go easy on me! The tags indicate my desire to further this story based on interest. Thank you for reading. And a big thank you to my sister atheist_islander for being my beta!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost One

I don’t know how long I have been out here. It feels like ages. The thick canopy of trees overhead has long blacked out the sun, and I am unaware of time and space itself. I sleep with my hands wrapped around the handle of my dagger, holding it outwards, ready to strike. I awaken suddenly with my hair tangled in piles of soft rotted leaves, and I am still lost- every time it is the same. How did I come here? My memory only extends back by a few days at best. The rest of the time I am consumed with a madness, dark voices whisper in my ear, shadows move and just when I think I have found my senses, I lose them again, over and over. My blade, my hunger and my terror are my constant and only companions. There is something that hunts me here. I try to get away, I cannot say from what, but when I see the orc, or the spider, then I remember. When I have time I scrawl a symbol on a tree I pass, only to have some kind of marker, so I will know I have been there. I have not seen any trees with a mark yet. I am well and truly lost. I hope to find a place that I have been before, so at least I know I have an idea of direction. How deep is this wood? How far have I come? I have been lost for so long. I cannot remember anything. I cannot see myself.  
*********************************************************  
The spider’s mouth silently opened, long threads of poison suspended above my head. I remain motionless, my legs drawn tight like springs beneath me, though they ache and burn with weariness. It had not been long since I stopped to rest, at least it seemed that way. The rough dry bark of the tree I had slept against must now give me the sure surface I need when the time is right to jump. I had feasted on some berries and fell asleep after drinking from the river, only to be awakened by the sound of the ancient and relentless hunger of my enemy. The same predator that stalks me over and through the woods, the same that finds me no matter where I hide. Matters not what malevolent form it takes. I always see The Eye there, reflected back at me in the orbs of whatever tries to kill me next- the all-consuming flames. Burning, scorching death awaits me there.  
I found my footing and jumped up, driving the long blade into the gaping maw as it made its last attempt to sink fangs into my flesh. A horrid squeal escaped the arachnid as it fell upon me, dying, and the stench of its putrid blood caused the bile to rise in the back of my throat. I wrenched my blade free, knowing there would be more coming, and I would be powerless to stop them all alone.  
No amount of exhaustion could prevent me from leaping far from the oncoming rushed rustling roar that I detected with all of my senses. Death was bearing down on me yet again. I would run and find the place to hide, and cheat them, yet again.  
Only I wasn’t supposed to get bitten. I don’t know why it surprised me when it happened. I could not expect to win against the darkness that wanted me so desperately, and I not knowing the reasons why any of this was in the first place, acting solely on my instincts alone. One wrong step was all it took. As my reality quickly slipped away in a soundless tunnel, I could see a pair of violet eyes hidden in the woods, glowing in the enveloping darkness, regarding me without malice. Even in the urgent separation of my soul from my body, I heard my voice as it rang out-  
“…Cirasya! Uhimsaa!”  
********************************************************  
The wizard fussed over the body the elves had left him to inspect. The dingy heap barely breathed, but Gandalf knew within his first rapid assessment, there was something altogether different about this individual. The puzzle before him appeared, at the very least, to be of the female persuasion, and even that was not yet a surety in his opinion.  
“Gandalf. We must away. Leave this to my father.” Legolas had resupplied his weapons stock and packed his satchel with waybread for the next leg of their journey, and he did not want to tarry in his father’s halls for any length of time other than what was necessary.  
The wizard harrumphed. “Legolas Greenleaf, if you did not hurry through life I would worry you were ill. I know you are eager to depart, but please, will you give me a little time with this one?”  
Legolas shrugged. “There are very talented healers in the Greenwood. You need not worry, Gandalf.” His restless blue eyes scanned the Hall of Healing, and rested on the sight of two very young elleths that were ready to assist when called for.  
“I am not worried, Legolas…just concerned.”  
The ellon sighed heavily. “So it is, you are forever concerned, Olórin.” Gandalf glanced at Legolas as a kind of warning, and with that the ellon left the hall, deciding to find something to divert himself away from a potential run-in with his father. Thranduil was much changed, but not enough to warrant his son’s complete trust, not yet.  
Nonetheless, King Thranduil of the Wood Elves would not be kept in the dark with just a nibble of a report from Ryvvik, commander of the Woodland Army. He sent for Legolas and Gandalf immediately, and became increasingly irritated with the long wait he endured.  
“Mithrindir, I expected to see you sooner upon your arrival.” Thranduil stood from his throne and made his way down the stairs to the lower dais, where the wizard and his son stood. Legolas gave his father a guarded smile, and set his fist against his chest with a bow, leading Thranduil in a similar gesture.  
“Will you stay, ion nîn?”  
Legolas nodded slightly. “There is a council meeting in the halls of Rivendell, Ada. Lord Elrond has summoned men, dwarves and elves." He watched his father's back stiffen, his expression turn to ice. Legolas pressed on. "It is of the utmost importance I depart immediately."  
Thranduil's eyes swept towards Gandalf. "And you? Are you summoned as well?"  
Gandalf nodded briefly before lowering his gaze. "Yes, my lord."  
Thranduil spun on his heel and reached out for a carafe of wine that waited on a nearby table. He poured three glasses and passed them out.  
"Seems as though Elrond is overreacting. What could be so pressing, I wonder?" Thranduil's eyes burned like cold fire, but his audience was not afraid of him. Legolas's lips formed a tight line as he struggled to find patience.  
"Ada, you cannot tell me you have not felt it. Isolation can only protect you for so long."  
Gandalf interrupted to avoid a potential argument. "There is a possibility that the One Ring of the Enemy has been found. I am going back to the Shire, and then on to Rivendell for the council."  
"Aragorn waits for me in the forest. He is trying to track Gollum. How did he escape, Ada?"  
Thranduil's face flushed. "He had help. There are things in Mirkwood that share his agenda." He drank his wine down, noticing his son had not touched his. "You know the horrors of which I speak."  
Gandalf had made it through half his glass. He knew there would be no relief to the tension in the room between father and son. So much unspoken that could be resolved, if only...  
"Lord Thranduil, as far as the...creature discovered in the wood. She is a mystery."  
"She?" Thranduil's eyebrows arched, from irritation or surprise Gandalf could not discern.  
"Yes, she. Elvish ears. Human hands. But a shapeshifter unlike any I have seen before."  
Thranduil recoiled at the word. "I will not have it in my halls."  
"She is near death from the spider's poison. Let her attempt recovery. At least that you could manage, Thranduil? She may have some useful knowledge. She looks as though she has been running for some time."  
"Yes, running from my guards I am sure. I have had reports of strange creatures about and runes carved into trees. I am concerned this creature is more dark magic than shapeshifter." Thranduil bowed his head briefly in Legolas' direction. "You did me a great service, ion nîn. Le athae."  
"I tracked her for hours. Aragorn wanted to observe her- he, too, is puzzled by her. The spider made it easy to finally catch her."  
Thranduil's eyes narrowed. "I will go to the Halls of Healing to see this strange creature for myself. Only then will I decide whether to let it...her, stay."  
"I depart for Rivendell, my lord father." Legolas rested his fist to his chest and bowed in his father's direction, and Thranduil returned the gesture.  
"No dirweg. No i Melain na le." Thranduil watched the wizard wish his son well, his face impassive and his eyes glacial. Gandalf looked back at him expectantly. "You are coming with me."  
"Of course. But time is short." Gandalf followed Thranduil out of the throne room. Two guards joined with them soundlessly as they made their way across the cave. The beauty of the carved stone structure left Gandalf in wonder, even as Thranduil swiftly led him through the narrow passages and wide halls. It did not take long at their pace to reach the Halls of Healing, where four elleths worked on the intruder. They had removed her filthy rags, and cleaned her as best they could. She lay still and unmoving on the stone slab bed, a white sheet covering her from breast to shin. Her skin was ghastly pale, and her dark hair hung in long wet skeins off the edge of the slab. Gandalf and Thranduil approached her slowly.  
"Any change?" Gandalf asked. The healers shook their heads, all lovely young elves they were.  
"We have done everything we can."  
Thranduil raised his hand. "You are dismissed. For now." Gandalf looked askance at the king as he raised the sheet and folded it upwards, revealing a smattering of runes on her thigh. He gasped as he read it aloud.  
"A curse. She must be executed, not allowed to recover here in my halls."  
Gandalf shook his head. "It is a binding spell. Someone was working on her. Perhaps it is why she was running." He looked at the ageless face of the intruder. "She has a story, Lord Thranduil."  
The king shook his head slowly. "Not one I care to hear. Already I risk much having her in these halls. The damage she could do now that she is inside could be catastrophic."  
"Then return her to the dungeon. But please, keep her here until I can make my way back. There is much she could tell us, I fear."  
The king's face soured. "You don't understand, do you? If I allow her to rot in my dungeon until you return, I will do what is necessary to keep my people safe, should she prove to be exactly what I fear she is. She may not be here to tell you her story later, Mithrandir." His voice, smooth as silk, dripped with venom. Gandalf found himself wincing.  
"I am aware of that, O Thranduil the Great. I only ask that you try." With that the wizard shuffled out, his walking staff thudding loudly with each right step. The king stayed behind, staring at the face of the intruder, his expression puzzled and dismayed. He lifted the sheet and found more runes on her ribs, and he dropped the sheet again, disgusted.  
"See to her." His voice rang out as he marched away. The sight of her made him sick with worry. The healers rushed back to her, their heads bowed low with their task. And the intruder slept on.  
*********************************************************  
I was saddened by own awakening. I dimly remember the spider biting my leg, the eyes that watched me fall. But I was alive, painfully so. Every joint burned in agony, every movement, no matter how slight, caused my mind to fill with fireworks of blinding pain. I stilled myself and opened only my eyes, and was confused by my surroundings. Whites, browns, sounds of rushing water, and a carved ceiling above me, glittering, pale stone bathed in torchlight. Where was I?  
I rolled my eyes downwards and saw the sheet. My clothes were gone. The sudden realization that I was bare beneath the sheet made me flush with shame. I could hear a chanting song reverberating from somewhere, and it calmed me, smoothed my restless soul. I sighed heavily, and beneath me I felt cool stone, porous yet smooth. I wanted to get up, but I knew I wasn't ready for that yet. My left calf throbbed as if a hot knife had shredded my leg and remained stuck in the bone itself. A whimper escaped my lips, and the face of a tall, beautiful young lady came into focus. She was standing over me with a kind smile.  
"Pedil edhellen?" Her accent was lovely, but I couldn't understand her question. She smiled again and I tried to smile back. "Can you understand me?"  
"Yes." I tried to raise my head, but it caused me so much pain I went partially blind again. Her hand was cool on my forehead.  
"Stay still. You must rest."  
"What happened? Where am I?"  
"You were bitten by a spawn of the Ungoliant. You were dead when you arrived." The young lady smiled brighter. "You are in the Halls of the Elvenking."  
I shook my head. She might as well be speaking a foreign language. "Where?"  
"Do you not remember anything?"  
"No." I tried moving again, but it was useless.  
"You are strong-willed." I heard her say something in that strange beautiful tongue again, and two more ladies were suddenly present. Three faces peered down at me now. "We have been seeing to you. We are healers. You are in the Woodland Realm of the Elves. King Thranduil oversees us all. It is only by his grace that you are here."  
"You must try and remember. Anything would help." The sheet was lifted and I immediately tried to pull it back down. "You have runes cut into your skin. Do you know where you received such marks?"  
I was filled with an unspeakable terror. Runes? My hand instinctively came to my ribcage. I was freezing all over as my mind raced, my muscles turning to stone. My heart was pounding and my throat threatened to close off my breathing. I found myself gasping loudly, and tears poured out of my eyes, over my temples and into my hair. I was losing consciousness, I could feel myself slipping away, falling backwards into the dark.  
"Na janami...zarana!" I could feel my body spasming, but I was so far away.  
****************************************************************  
The king sat on his throne-like chair at the dining hall. His elven people were all around him, passing plates of food to each other, chattering excitedly. Tonight was the Feast of the Harvest, something to honor the coming Fall. Ryvvik had just returned from a meeting with the Master of Men, trading herbs for wine. He came to the side of the king and waited until he was called for.  
"What news, Ryvvik? Did all go well?"  
"As always, my lord. The people have finished the last of the rebuilding. Bard is a good leader. The people are flourishing."  
Thranduil nodded, his eyes on the crowd of elves happily dancing out on the floor. He was lost in memory as Ryvvik spoke. His heart hung heavy, as the battle of the five armies had cost his kingdom dearly. The elves had only recently made a comeback, as his people had become despondent with sadness. Elves from Lorien and Rivendell had come to the aid of the Elvenking- Thranduil was not exactly thrilled at the thought, but there were many needs in his Kingdom that could not be met, and he had lost over a third of his people in battle. At long last, marriages were made, and little elves were born, some already in training for the Woodland Army. Joy had found its way back into the wood. It made the king's heart glad to see his people living again, but inside he felt unsatisfied. His loneliness weighed him down, and his attempts at finding empathy and compassion were riddled with failure. No one was a harsher critic than the king himself, and he revisited the past, wishing he could correct it. As a result, any happiness he felt for his people could not reach his heart.  
"My lord? Are you well?" Ryvvik could tell his liege lord had drifted away from his report a long time ago. Thranduil snapped back into the present.  
"Yes, commander. Join the feast. Enjoy yourself." The king nodded ahead towards a certain young elleth that smiled at Ryvvik from afar. The commander laughed softly and put his fist to his chest.  
"Thank you, my lord." And just like that, the king was alone again. The food served looked and smelled delicious, but he could not bring himself to eat. The wine was filling enough, and it wasn't until his fifth bottle that he decided to propose a toast to his kin.  
"My dears." He stood, his feet finding the floor well enough but his legs a little shaky. All the elves stopped their dancing and the music cut abruptly. Ryvvik tapped his fork to his wineglass and the room went still.  
"My dearest kin," the king began again. "The Fall is upon us again, and harvest time is here. But the true reason we feast tonight is the tenacity of this realm. I am so pleased with all of you, having overcome insurmountable grief and hardship. We have been through the wars far too many times, and our losses have been great." The king smiled now, and the crowd felt lionized by his countenance. "But look at you now. I have wished for nothing more than to see you alive and full of joy once again. I wish to thank you all for everything you all have done to unite the tattered ends of our kingdom and strengthen our bonds with each other. Our land lives in each one of you, our kingdom lives on because of you. I am invigorated in the light of your joy." Thranduil lifted his glass, and the crowd of elves return the gesture, many with tears in their eyes. "This is for you. All of you. Savo 'lass a lalaith!"  
The shouts went up, the elves returning the cheer. "Hail to the King! Hail Thranduil!"  
The king raised his glass up high and then drank the wine down, with elves following suit, and the cheers became a joyful noise.  
***************************************************************  
The racket grew in intensity, and I opened my eyes with a frown. Awake again. I sighed heavily, and one of the healers was instantly at my side.  
"What is going on?" I asked, my voice cracking painfully. I tried to swallow, my tongue thick in my mouth. The healer placed a wet sponge to my lips and I sucked on it gratefully. There was not enough water in the world to quench my thirst.  
"It is the Feast of the Harvest." The healer looked up and around with a smile. "The king has toasted his people."  
"Why aren't you there?" I noticed for the first time her eyes were a sparkling grey, lit from the inside. It reminded me of the opal necklace she wore at her neck. She smiled beatifically down at me.  
"I am there in spirit. I chose to wait with you, in case you awoke again." Her hand was on my forehead, and it radiated a calm coolness throughout my body. I shivered and sighed. "Your fever is still very high."  
"You should be there. With your people." I tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace of pain. "I will be fine."  
"No, my friend. I have taken responsibility of you, personally."  
I shivered again. "Responsibility?"  
"Yes. The king is...concerned. He wants you in the dungeon, but I bade his patience. I know you are not going to harm any of us."  
I tried not to look alarmed. "Harm you?"  
"Yes...you have outwitted the guards many times. We knew you were out there, we just didn't know...what you were."  
"I didn't know...I thought I was alone out there. Nothing but spiders...and those twisted orcs chased me constantly."  
The healer looked shocked. "Orcs?"  
I narrowed my eyes and stared into her illuminated gaze. "Yes. Many orcs."  
It was her turn to shiver. I felt bad for making her feel uneasy. "I am sorry. Thank you for caring for me...I would feel better if you would set me free."  
She shook her head. "I know my king, and he won't let you go now that you're here. You have a long road ahead of you, my friend. Sometimes the younger spiders have stronger venom than even the oldest ones. Your leg is necrotic."  
I breathed out slowly. "Do you think it can be saved?"  
Again the kind smile. "That is why I am here. I will do everything I can."  
I stared at an ornate carving on the wall ahead of me- a relief of a starry sky and the woods beneath. It made me think of being out there, wishing I could see the sky. I would have felt joy at the sight of stars. "I wish I could remember something. I only see the woods when I think back. I feel like I was out there for ages."  
She smoothed my brow, and I felt at peace, if only for the moment. "When your leg gets better, I will put you in our hot springs. You will enjoy it. It cleanses the spirit. Would you like something to eat?" I noticed how she carefully ignored my statements. I think she was worried I would pass out again. I was not sure I wanted to try and eat anything. My stomach was numb and aching.  
"I don't know...may I ask your name?"  
"My name is Maith."  
"That's lovely." I felt so sleepy, and I couldn't help it when I slipped away again.  
****************************************************************  
Thranduil stood in the entrance to the alcove where the mystery intruder lay. She was breathing easy now, and the elleth that watched over her was curled up in a nearby chair, fast asleep. The torchlight was low, and it was very late. Or very early in the morning, either way. He was feeling heavy from the wine he had consumed, aggravated by the intruder's presence in his kingdom, and confused by her, not knowing where she had come from, what she was running from, and how she had managed to avoid arrest- until his son found her. He reached back into his belt and unsheathed his dagger, and closed the distance between them. Silent as the grave, he stared down at her sleeping form and pressed the dagger to her flesh. She did not wake, not that it mattered, he wanted to see her bleed. He needed to know what she was, and her blood could tell him so much. As his blade pressed into her arm sideways, he muttered a string of Sindarin, and thick red blood ran. The intruder's eyes flew open and she whimpered at the imperious visage of the enraged king as he stood over her, his voice an inaudible curse. There was an insistent biting pain in her upper arm. His thorny crown and glowing icy stare terrified her even further, and she cried out now, waking the sleeping healer.  
"My lord! No! Please..." Maith was on her knees before the king now, and it did naught to stop him.  
"Leave me!" he hissed. He withdrew the blade and stared down at the intruder. "Who are you? Where do you come from?"  
The intruder shook violently, and her eyes rolled back in her head. "Ekakini bhawitumicchami!"  
The king stepped backwards. He had never heard that dialect before, and he didn't know what to make of it. The healer quickly stepped in and tried to stop the intruder from swallowing her tongue. It was almost useless alone, until another healer came rushing in the room to help, guards right behind her.  
"Are you hurt, my king?" The guards surrounded Thranduil and escorted him out. He threw one last look back, and watched as the sheet fell away from the intruder's body. The runes on her ribs and thigh stood out against her pale skin. The king shuddered as he turned away.  
"No. I mean to stay that way. I want her in a cell."  
**************************************************************  
It was dark and cold. I wasn't in the place I was before, no. This place was wet and unfriendly. A lone torch burned somewhere in the distance, and as my eyes focused I could make out the telltale bars of a prison gate. My leg was killing me, and I could feel a sharp sting in my upper arm. How did I get here?  
"Hello?" My voice was broken. I didn't think anyone had heard me, until I saw Maith standing outside the gate. "Maith..."  
"I am sorry my friend." She sounded like she had been crying. "You are to stay in here now. I will still see to your wounds. I am still here for you."  
"Why am I in here?"  
Maith put a hand to her mouth. "You don't remember? The king was with you when I woke up."  
"King? No." I shook my head. That was a mistake- the pain was crippling as it shockwaved through my brain. "I don't remember!"  
"Your fever was terrible. He came in, I do not know why, maybe to check on you. He..." Maith took a deep breath before continuing. "He had his dagger on your arm. He...he cut you."  
"What? Why? Maith, please, get me out of here!"  
"No. I cannot do that!"  
"I will die here! I do not even know your king and he wants me to die! Please, I would rather take my chances outside."  
Maith shook her head vigorously. "No. You will surely die outside, my friend. You cannot even stand yet. Your leg is full of poison."  
I could not believe what I was hearing. I was a prisoner in a realm I had not even known existed, and I was too sick to escape. I was almost swallowed up in the wave of emotions to think.  
"Why are you still caring for me, Maith?"  
She rested her head on the bars, and I could see the tears as they fell from her cheeks. "Because, as I told you, you are my charge. I took the responsibility of caring for you and returning you to full health. The king sent me here, too."  
I sighed heavily. "Then, I release you."  
"It doesn't work like that. Only the king can release me. It seems he wants to punish me as well."  
I felt the stirring of rage welling within me. "You do not deserve any punishment. You were doing a job. How is any of this fair?"  
Maith didn't answer, she only wept at the predicament. I, however, was incensed, and it caused wild feelings to sweep my mind.  
"This won't last forever. You are healing quickly, I am sure it is the elven blood you carry-"  
"Elven? You mean...I am like you?" I pondered the statement with a sense of wonder.  
"Yes. You have some elf in you, your ears are like ours, and your healing is advanced. I am sure there are other things, but...when you remember who you are, we will know more."  
I reached up and felt the curve of my ears, and sure enough the tips were pointed. I felt even more unsure of myself than ever before, and it must have shown on my face. Maith stared at me in the dim gloom of my cell, and she shook her head in disbelief.  
"You really don't remember anything, do you?"  
I felt tears prick my eyes. "No, I don't. I feel so lost. Maith, thank you for helping me. I am sorry it is causing you grief."  
She shrugged, and I could hear her smile in her voice. "I would rather be here with you. I can watch you, make sure you are restored. That is my goal. I am only in training, and if I can heal you...then I know I am ready for the title."  
I sighed again, wondering at the nature of elves and what they had to teach me about myself. I never thought about my origin long enough to even wonder what I was, but learning I had elf blood was at least one puzzle piece I could have, with the intent of completing the entire picture. Maybe one day.  
"Are you hungry now, my friend?"  
I tried to sit up on the uncomfortable stone slab I was on. After much grunting and cursing, I found myself sitting upright. Sweat poured down my face, and my entire body was wracked with pain.  
"Yes Maith, please. I am so thirsty. Thank you."  
She nodded and was gone, leaving me there to gather myself. I was going to stand next, and I knew what that would cost me. I needed the energy from food and drink to do it.  
**************************************************************  
"Tell me, Ryvvik. How is it that you and the guard could never catch the abomination? How is it possible that she outmaneuvered you?" Thranduil stood by the divining pool, his thick robes swaddling him. The carafe of wine waited for him, but he wasn't ready for it yet.  
"I wish I knew, my king." Ryvvik was not as tall as his liege lord, but close. He still found himself cowering under the icy stare Thranduil pinned him with.  
"You trained alongside my son. You showed incomparable strength and agility. How could she have outrun you for so long?"  
Ryvvik shook his head, his dark hair half bound in a thick braid. He pleaded his king with his emerald eyes, but the king gave no reprieve. "Your majesty, believe me when I say we did everything in our power, besides shoot her down-"  
"That is precisely what I meant. She should have been dead by now. Instead she rests in my halls, eats my food, drinks my wine, and the medicine used on her could be used on someone far more deserving."  
Ryvvik lowered his eyes. "I am sorry, my lord. She did not seem a threat. I suspected her a runaway child from Bard's lands. I did not want to start a war with the men should she be someone's daughter."  
Thranduil cocked his brow. "Ah, now there's the truth. I would expect nothing less from you, Ryvvik. Mercy is not a weakness. But it can be used against us. We must always be prepared for the unexpected. Which is why I put her in a cell."  
"With your permission, I would like to visit Bard. He may know her, or at least know of her."  
The king's silent stare almost caused Ryvvik to crumble, until finally he smiled wryly.  
"Yes. Fine idea. Take only a few guards with you. Bring him some bread, Ryvvik." The king poured himself some wine. "It is the harvest, after all. Bard's people will appreciate the gesture, I'm sure."  
Ryvvik saluted his king and left hurriedly, thankful he still had a job. Thranduil drank down his wine and poured another, and then sat at the table by the divining pool. He picked up the dagger he had sliced the intruder with, and inspected it for the hundredth time. Reddish-brown, like it should be. He could detect no rot or corruption, no black orc taint. The scent made his head spin, iron and flowers and something else...He did not feel a threat there. She would die, like any other mortal. The runes on her body were, as Mithrandir said, a binding spell. Someone was working magic on her. Maybe she escaped. Maybe the inability to remember was from trauma. Or maybe, the king surmised, it was all part of the plan. She would keep up the ruse until she had the trust of the kingdom, and then she would spring the trap.  
"It will never work, my dear," the king said aloud, and tossed the dagger back onto the table. His third glass of wine went down a little smoother than the first two, and after a few more, he found himself in front of the intruder's cell. Maith was away so he had time to stare at her. She slept deeply, now dressed in a shift, and the blanket wrapped around her was piteously small. Thranduil thought of the dagger and how far away it was. He let his robe fall as he wrapped his fingers around the bars. It would be nothing to pull the gate away from the frame, to get inside and kill her.  
Maith's timid voice ended his violent daydream. "My lord..."  
"Damn." Thranduil picked up his robe and gave Maith his best withering stare. It worked. She shriveled under his gaze. "Has she spoken? Do you know anything you didn't before?"  
Maith shook her head slowly. "No, my lord. She only talks of orcs and spiders. When her fever rises, she speaks that strange language... I do not recognize it at all."  
Thranduil rolled his eyes. "Well, I suppose you can continue. I can only hope you extract something from her. And soon." He stalked past her and left the dungeon. There were many other things for him to worry about, and he was already beginning to tire of this.


	2. Weak and Powerless

I awoke angry. I could not tell if it was day or night, I could not feel the outside air on my cheek- none of my wits could be about me trapped in this stone cage. Through the ornate metal gate of my cramped cell I could see elves moving from place to place, their fleeting silhouettes beautiful in the torchlight, and their chatter in that lyrical language echoed in my chamber. My body ached all over, but my leg was the worst of it, throbbing with a dull agony the likes of which I had never known.  
"Maith?" My voice was a broken rasp. No one came to the bars, so I knew I was alone. I had some time to try. The slightest attempt to sit upright was a hard struggle, and at one point I didn't think I could do it- between the dizziness and the nausea I was reduced to a weakened child, and every mewl behind my jaw locked in determination was another match to my already inflamed temper. I had no patience with myself, with this. I forced myself to stand up, and everything promptly went black.  
I awoke again on the sandy stone floor, blood in my mouth and cold sweat dripping from every pore. I blinked until I could focus, though it was fruitless as I was mostly in the dark. But I needed every sense about me if I was going to take some charge of myself.  
Somehow I got on my feet, panting and pouring sweat. The little shift dress I was in was damp and sticking to my skin, and I was shaking all over. But I would not let myself black out again. As I stood leaning heavily against my cell gate, I could feel thick liquid running slowly down my shin, over my ankle- I knew what it was, but I couldn't bring myself to look, not yet. Stabbing pain radiated through my calf and up into my thigh, and it was all I could do to keep ahold of myself. I rested my forehead to the bars and closed my eyes, trying to stop myself from hyperventilating. Slowly I breathed in, even as my heart pounded in my throat, slowly I breathed out, my diaphragm hitching with effort. I don't know how long I was like that before I finally opened my eyes again. The stillness outside was almost alarming- there had been so much movement before. Where did everyone go? I raised my eyes from the gloomy dimness all around me to peer outside, and was met by a fearfully tall elf, wrapped in a red robe, black leggings and a white tunic. His long platinum hair hung loose, unlike the other elves I had seen that had braids, male and female alike. And set in his angular face were the most beautiful penetrating ice blue eyes that I had ever seen. He stood, poised as if about to lunge, staring at me with abject hostility. My breath was caught in my throat all over again. Was this my executioner? I could not speak, I could not lower my gaze, and I was frozen to the spot I stood, barely at that. I felt the sensation of falling backwards, yet I was still on my feet. I knew I was starting to pass out, but my sheer terror wouldn't allow it. I could smell the rotted ooze that was pulsing out of my leg, warm and sticky, and I felt my stomach rising in disgust. It felt like an eternity watching the elf before me standing still as an oak tree, waiting for him to move or speak. It seemed his hostility toward me was more of a hate, and his fierce glower intensified as I gasped for air. First I felt a terrible shame, then to counter it came an inexplicable anger rising from deep inside me, and I couldn't stop my voice as it tumbled past my lips.  
"Why do you stare? Strike then, if that's what you mean to do!" Sweat poured down my face in rivulets. I wanted him to do something, anything, other than glare at me.  
"If that's what I meant to do, you would be dead already." His voice was deep and commanding, even in a near-whisper. Who was this deranged elf?  
"I wish you would...just do it. I would rather die than be trapped here!"  
A perverse smile curled his lips, and it made me shudder. "I would rather see you dead. Amin feuya ten' lle. But I made an arrangement to keep you alive, if I could. So you shall rot here, until further notice."  
The sudden realization of who he was made me stumble backwards, until I fell onto the stone slab bed. The back of my head cracked against the wall, and I saw stars. Blood filled my mouth, as I had bitten down on my tongue in the fall. When I could see again, I briefly looked down at my leg. Black blood and pus had coursed out of the bite. Seeing it made me feel woozy and sick, but when I looked up and saw the king still standing there, only closer now, I was again enraged.  
"Why are you here? To torture me? I can't go anywhere. I can't hurt anyone. Isn't that what you're worried about? That I will hurt your people? Well you shouldn't. I just want you to let me go. I will get as far away from your kingdom as I can."  
The king stepped even closer, until he was up against the bars. He was taller than my cell, so he had to tilt his head to look in. His hands slowly came up, and his elongated fingers wrapped around the bars. I heard a crunching noise and I realized he had shifted the iron gate of my cell, not much to notice, but enough to let me know that it wouldn't stop him if he decided to advance.  
"Don't question me." His voice slithered around me like a snake. "You will stay here if I command it. And you will die when I command it. You are not allowed to skulk around my forest any longer. You will remain in my custody, and you will stay here in this cell. And after my commitment has been met, you will die down here. Alone. In the dark. And your body will burn until nothing of it remains. Do you understand?"  
I couldn't stop the sobs as they wracked my body. I felt so weak and powerless. I was on borrowed time now, and I couldn't imagine what I could have done to warrant this treatment. I couldn't remember anything from before my time in the woods...was it possible I crossed this elf and his kingdom?  
"What have I done? Why do you want me dead?" My voice was cracking and I felt the shame of my captivity and the powerlessness it left me with.  
"I won't give you a chance to do a single thing, wrong or otherwise." He stiffened and walked backwards slowly, never taking his eyes off me. "You are an affront to nature. You are marked by the enemy. You should be dead already. But that will come soon enough."  
And with that he was gone, and I was left in a puddle of muck and tears, feeling even more confused that ever before. Where was Maith? Would no one help me?  
*********************************************************  
The king sat on his throne, trying to listen to his chief custodian, Vehiron, list the pantry stock in preparation for winter. The blacksmith and attiliator waited on the lower dais to give their reports, and it did not escape anyone's attention that the king was terribly preoccupied. He had been listening all morning, and he was exhausted.  
"Stop." His voice rang out deep and clear, and echoed in a loud burst. He noticed it was a little louder than he had wanted, but he showed no apology to his staff. "This can wait. Will someone please bring me some wine?" It was not a question, and it sent everyone scrambling. The carafe and glass was up the stairs in moments. Thranduil did not really want it, he just wanted a moment to collect himself. The incessant droning was driving him a little mad. And it wasn't that the reports did not interest him- on the contrary, they were very important. But he could not center his mind to focus on anything- he knew the reason why, and it truly aggravated him. The creature in his dungeon, the intruder. Even Gollum, with all his horrible racket, the pleading and choking noises that echoed through the cave during his stay, did not faze him the way the intruder did. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the runes on her skin, and the meaning...'Eye of Belegurth' beneath her breast, and 'Horse of Gorthaur' on her thigh. Names that had not been spoken for almost two thousand years. He imagined there were more somewhere on her, carved into her flesh and tinted black like the rest. It filled him with a rage that he could barely control. As he lifted the wineglass to his lips, he noticed the slight tremble in his hand. It angered him even more.  
"Vehiron. Summon Ryvvik here at once, and ready my horse and armor. I am going out. The reports will wait."  
Vehiron nodded and was gone. The king sat, watching the wine vibrate in his glass as the tremble spread up his arms. He was going to have to do something about this. He had not felt this close to losing control of his emotions in many, many years. He needed some fresh air and a long and vigorous ride to clear his mind.  
************************************************************************  
Maith was begging me to stop, but I refused to hear her voice. I just stopped listening, as I had to concentrate on the task ahead. Standing, and then walking. My head was pounding in time with my heart, and I lost my sight. I couldn't stop now. Sweat ran down my back as I panted heavily, my fingers scrabbling on the stone wall to find something to hold onto. I could feel my nails tearing back against the stone, and my legs quaked as I stood. I could feel blood running in rivulets down my leg, and the world was spinning.  
"Please, please my friend, you must stop."  
I could hear the slight sobs in Maith's voice. The desperation spread throughout me, and the guilt of putting Maith through this weighed heavily in my heart. But I couldn't stop, not now. I dragged my poisoned leg into a full stand, and tried to take another step. I was freezing, teeth chattering, and even though my eyes were open, they were useless. The cell was already dark, but my limited vision made it impossible to see.  
"You are going to make more of the spider venom course through your body, please, you must stop!"  
"I...would...rather die...than stay...here..." My voice sounded strange and alien to me it echoed in my cell. As I took another step, the horrible sensation of my soul being sucked downwards overtook me, and I was powerless to stop myself from blacking out again.  
**********************************************************************************  
"Edhellos! Please help me!" Maith cried up through the cavern, hoping her sister would hear and come right away. She caught the sight of one of the guards and waved him to her. "Amrath, please! The keys!"  
"I do not have the keys, my lady. No one is allowed in its cell."  
Maith scowled. "She, not it, and she needs our help! Please get the keys, Amrath!"  
The young elf hesitated, but finally rushed off. Maith could hear the horrible choking noises coming from inside the cell, and she called again for her sister. She knew her charge was trying to swallow her tongue. The spider venom was so powerful that it caused seizures in her patient. As seconds turned into minutes, Maith grew more desperate, and she cried for help a third time, when she heard the unmistakable growl of an animal from inside the cell. She slowly backed away from the bars, trying to peer inside, and she gasped as she caught the sight of a pair of deep green eyes glowing near the floor.  
"My friend...?" Maith cocked her head to the side and froze in terror as she witnessed a ripple of fur moving in a beam of torchlight, where her patient should have been. At that moment, Amrath came jogging up to her with another guard in tow, this one obviously the dungeonmaster, Curufin.  
"You need to get inside, my lady?"  
Maith shook her head, still staring at the shadowed motion inside the cell.  
"Maith, whatever is the matter?" Edhellos was joining the group of elves, and more were trickling down to see what the excitement was.  
"Come, Curufin, open the cell-"  
"No." Maith's voice was low and commanding. "Do not open that cell."  
"Nonsense," Edhellos replied, and marched forward. She was shocked and stumbled backwards when a deep throaty growl rumbled through the cell. "Nan Belain!" Her voice broke as she cried out the oath, and she scrambled away and back to the safety of the group.  
"She is a skin changer!" The terror on Amrath's face was evident as he took several steps back, his eyes pinned on the cell.  
Curufin, a much older elf, shook his head slowly. "Why do you fear her? She could never break out of the dungeon no matter how fiercely she fought." He casually walked up to the cell, and a wolf's muzzle poked out from between the bars, sniffing the air with front teeth bared. He quietly spoke in Sindarin. "Anor valthen, togo laugas lín nestad enin gûr hen..." Inside the cell another growl rose up, then turned into a soft whine. "She is hurt. We can still go inside and help her."  
Maith and Edhellos looked at each other. "I am sorry, Curufin, but we can't go in there."  
"You are supposed to be healers. It's shameful that you would not help her when you should."  
Edhellos shook her head in disbelief, her long auburn hair shimmering. "You cannot be serious. She could attack us and rip our throats out."  
Curufin shrugged. Amrath was still silent with terror, and the older elf looked him over with a look of disdain. "You are to be in my position one day, Amrath, son of Ecthelion. If you are to assume the responsibility, you cannot freeze with fear and practically soil yourself when you are frightened. As a dungeonmaster you are expected to handle every situation with grace, no matter how shocking or terrible." He waved the young elf away. "Go help in the kitchen. I don't want to see you back here for the rest of the evening."  
Amrath left with his head bowed in shame. The healer sisters still stood, watching the old guard with lowered eyes.  
"And as for you two, I understand how you feel. But that animal, elf, person...whatever she is, is hurt. You should tend to her."  
"But...what if she attacks?"  
"She is scared and hurt, but she is still herself. If she didn't hurt you before, she won't now."  
Maith was the first to approach the bars. After a moment of steeling herself, she outstretched her palm towards the limping animal behind the prison gate. At first there were short huffs and a quiet growl, but Maith didn't take her hand away.  
"It is me, my friend. It is Maith. I am here to help you." The grey muzzle and wet black nose poked out from between the bars, and Maith felt the hot breath on her skin. She was close enough to be bitten, but instead she felt a small lick on her palm. The wolf whimpered and fell on its side inside the cell. Maith turned to Curufin and nodded. "Let me in, please."  
Edhellon gasped. "Maith! No!"  
"It will be alright, my sister. She is my patient." And with that, Curufin and Maith went inside the cell. There was barely enough room for them, but Maith needed Curufin's help to get the animal back on to the stone slab. The wolf was small, almost the size of an adult. It was then Maith realized her patient's age- she couldn't be more than 19 human years old. She was still growing, still changing. The wolf was breathing quickly, and Maith could feel the heat rising off the animal- the fever was back. The animal whimpered as Maith tended to the necrotic lower leg. As Curufin tried to soothe the troubled she-wolf, he ran his hands over her fur, and across her upperarm he ran into a fresh gout of blood.  
"Maith...look..."  
The wolf whimpered as Maith gently took the front leg to inspect it. She was quickly gaining confidence, as it was obvious the animal was miserable and needed to be cared for.  
"Yes...the king's dagger."  
Curufin looked shocked. "Did they have a skirmish in the woods?"  
Maith shook her head no as she applied a poultice to the open wound. It clearly hurt as the wolf tried to pull her arm back, and then tried to get up.  
"Please hold her. Thank you." Maith packed more of the poultice along the fissure, and the wolf half-barked, half- cried, and struggled even more. Curufin held her fast. "No. He came into the Halls of Healing and cut the patient with his dagger. I am still not sure why."  
Curufin looked alarmed, and Maith couldn't tell if it was because of the wolf's struggle as it worsened, or the news of the king. She had to wrap the wound now, and the real fight began. No matter how rough it got, the wolf never bit either of them.  
"I don't know what to make of that, my lady."  
"Neither do I, Curufin. And I don't think we shall ever find out."  
The wrap was almost finished, and the wolf cast her head back and let out a long forlorn howl, raising the hackles on every elf's spine within earshot.  
The king was returning from his ride, and a chill ran down his spine as he heard the mournful cry of a wolf from somewhere nearby. His face drained of color when he realized it was coming from inside his cavern fortress. He threw the reins of his horse to a stable ellon and raced inside.  
"Ryvvik!" Thranduil called for his commander, and the two impossibly tall Sindar elves chased the stairs up from the secret entrance by the river that cut through the kingdom. They found themselves in the dungeons, where a small audience had gathered near the cell of the intruder. The crowd bowed immediately when they caught sight of the Elvenking in full armor as he stormed towards them, his platinum hair flying behind him.  
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. Most of the elves kept their eyes down, except one. She was a healer, sister to the one assigned to the intruder.  
"My lord, the...one found in the woods, she is a skin-changer. She turned into a wolf. My sister and the dungeonmaster are in the cell tending to her."  
Thranduil could not hide his wrath as it twisted his expression. He turned and approached the cell, and with an audible gasp from the crowd, he tore the cell door off its hinges and stood bent in the doorway, his eyes ice and fire as he looked around inside.  
"What in Eru's name is going on here?" His voice alone shook the air itself, but Maith and Curufin looked up at him calmly. There, between them on the stone slab, lay the intruder, bandaged and naked beneath a small blanket, deep in sleep.  
"She changed form. She was trying too hard to stand and walk, and instead of passing out she...changed skin." Maith lowered her gaze, and waited. Curufin stood and dusted himself off.  
"She's not going anywhere, your majesty." He bowed, then gestured toward the door, and Thranduil moved out of the way. He stayed close, he could not keep his eyes off her. The wordless rage was in his throat, and he balled his hands into white-knuckled fists to keep them from unsheathing his swords. He wanted to lunge and attack her, finish her off. The half-hearted promise he made Gandalf was losing its meaning.


	3. Fix You

"Put her in the rear chamber."   
Maith shivered. She slowly raised her eyes to the king and peered up at him as the guards carefully lifted the unconscious form of the intruder and carried her away. She knew what the rear chamber was for- usually a place where harsh, severe inquiries were made. Essentially a torture chamber. It was rarely used, but Maith could remember a situation that had occured with a man that had tried to hijack a pair of elves and steal their food and belongings. King Thranduil made sure the man paid for what he had tried to do. She was just beginning her training then, and she could still remember the chilling screams all these years later. She waited to be called, to tend to the man after Commander Ryvvik was done with him, but no call ever came. Instead she watched as the guards carried a stretcher out of the chamber, a black sheet draped over the lifeless body of the man on it.  
The king looked down on her with a controlled coldness. "She must be restrained. You will look after her there."  
"Yes, my lord." She kept her head down and her eyes to the floor until the king left, his armor clinking as he strode away. What was to become of her friend?  
****************************************************************************  
Dark were my dreams, but I was far from the pain. I was in a forest in the eve of twilight. The animals within the wood were restless, I could sense their apprehension as I moved between the trees. Though I never saw any, I could hear the rustling of leaves all around me. I could see my bare feet, smeared with mud, and in my hand was a long sword. It was virtually weightless, but as I swung it, it whistled through the air with purpose, and the blade glinted in the dim light of my surroundings. If it could be possible, the darkness suddenly grew, and I felt the presence of something great and terrible all around me. The weight of this presence was so strong I felt my knees buckle, and I slid to the forest floor helplessly. When I closed my eyes, I saw The Eye, flaming iris of death, and it threatened to engulf me within its flames. A scream escaped my lips, and I heard many dark voices laugh, whisper words I did not understand, and scream in a guttural voice. Through it all, one clear sound spoke, although it was voiceless, and it terrified me.  
"I see you..."  
I tried to find my feet, to get up, but a disembodied force threw me back to the ground.  
"You cannot run..."  
It was nearly black all around me. The forest had disappeared. Terror possessed me then, but I refused to give in. I had to get away. I had to try.  
"I will find you...you belong to me..."  
I could feel a shadow pass over me, and pain erupted all through me, all over me. I felt the blackness swallowing me, and I screamed again...but my scream became a howl, and I found myself running as fast as I could, low to the ground, back in the woods now, the darkness was trying to follow, but it struggled to keep up. My eyes could see colors and shapes like never before, my sense of smell was sharpened, and I could smell the wet earth, trees, and the scrubby grass under my...paws?  
I awoke with a start. My arms were painfully stretched upwards, and when I tried to pull them down I heard the dreadful sound of heavy chains. I looked around and realized I was in another place now, a large grotto, and the river ran wild nearby. I was on my back, bound with my arms and legs outstretched, and the chains were short. My arm where the king had cut me throbbed to match my leg, and tears sprang to my eyes. I barely had enough room to move. A lone torch burned from its placement on the wall. It was dark and cold here, much worse than the cell I had been in.  
"Why couldn't I just be dead," I said softly, and sobbed to myself. I felt so weak. I was in a new shift, this one dark blue. I tried to lift my leg so I could see it, but my flesh did not respond. My leg felt like it was dead, heavy and motionless. I closed my eyes and wept. What else could I do...I was going to die here, on this table, and I would be alone.  
It felt like forever. I had no sense of time here either. I wept with sadness, then with impotent rage, and then I was asleep again, drifting in a haze of confusion. I was either burning up and pouring with sweat, or freezing from cold, teeth chattering with the chills as they raced up and down my body.  
"Help me....help me..." My voice was not my own. I felt outside myself, and all was dark. I could feel that terror lurking there, waiting for me, waiting to catch me. "Let me die..."  
**************************************************************  
King Thranduil looked down at the pathetic form before him. She had become so frail. She was already just a slip of a girl when she had been captured, but now...  
Maith had given him her report and left him, though she was worried for her friend. She had spied the dagger on the king's hip. It would be nothing for him to end her, she was halfway there already. But he asked to be left alone with her, and so she had to go.  
"So..." The king stood over her, his eyes scanning her body, her face beautiful in the light of his nearby lamp. "You mean to leave us so soon." He carefully raised a hand as if looking for a place to strike, but instead he rested it on her forehead. He crossed almost the entire length of her forehead with just his palm. The intruder twitched ever so slightly.  
"It is not time yet."He closed his eyes and began to hum an ancient melody. The warmth built deep inside the core of his body, and as he hummed louder, the warmth spilled into his nervous system, radiated through his muscles, and then he began to sing.  
**************************************************  
Maith shivered in the dark, the adrenaline coursing wildly through her system. She was worried her heartbeat alone would give her away- it felt like it was going to burst right through her ribcage. She knew if the king caught her there, she would be punished, and the king was known for his severity, in every sense of the word. But she couldn't leave her friend to die, and she was willing to risk her own life to save her. She waited, hidden in shadow behind the king,watched him half wrapped in his red robe and the threatening crown gracing his golden white hair, standing over her charge, his hand raised as if to strike. She was relieved to see him lower it tenderly to her forehead, murmuring inaudibly. The shock she felt was enough to make her softly gasp and cover her mouth when she heard the king humming and then finally sing an ancient healing song. Could this be possible?   
***************************************************  
Thranduil stood in his own forest, the trees sighing softly in the wind, telling him secrets only he could understand. He could sense the presence of someone nearby, and he waited patiently for her to reveal herself. He stood in a plain tunic and leggings, his hair loose and his face placid. She would come out, eventually.  
At last he caught sight of a little face peeking out from behind an old oak tree.   
"You can come out, my child. You have nothing to fear from me."  
She stayed behind the tree, and he waited.  
"No. I won't come out. You hurt me."  
He lowered his head and closed his eyes. "Please forgive me. I had to know..."  
The little girl came out from behind the tree but stayed far away from him.  
"Had to know what?"  
"If you were truly cursed."  
"And? I'm not. So there."  
Thranduil chuckled softly, lifted his head and gazed at her. "No, little one. You are not. I am sorry I hurt you."  
The little girl looked crossly at him, her arms folded over her chest. Her dark hair was wild and free, and her eyes sparkled grey and yellow hues at him. She looked to be no older than seven or eight years old. This was the fëa that spoke to him now, as he sang to her to awaken her and heal her. He could not know what to expect, but this surprised him.  
"Well...I forgive you. Who are you anyway?"  
He smiled benevolently. "I am Thranduil Oropherion, King of the Wood Elves. I have reigned for thousands of years. I am at your service, little one." He bowed slightly, and watched her promptly fall apart.  
"Cael. My name is Cael." She wept now, and put her little face in her hands.  
"Don't cry, Cael. I am here to help you." He took a step toward her and she shrank back.  
"I don't believe you..." Her weeping intensified, and Thranduil found himself dismayed.  
"But I am trying. Won't you let me help you?"  
She shook her head, the tears flowing freely down her face. "Someone told me they would help me...a man in white. He promised me he would help me. But he didn't! And my naneth..."  
"Your naneth?" Thranduil took a step forward, but she slunk back behind the tree. "Whatever happened to you, my child?"  
After a long time, Cael spoke, her voice ragged from crying. "He took us...to his tower...he burned my naneth, he made her scream. And she was like you...an elf. But he hurt her and changed her..."  
Thranduil felt the tears rising in his own eyes, but he did not speak- he was waiting for the little girl to finish her story. He had to know...  
"She was my naneth no longer...and the man in white...he...he..."  
"Tell me, my child. What did he do to you?"  
Cael wept some more, and he knew this was the hardest part for her. "He tried to...make me hollow."  
Thranduil could not even begin to understand what horror she could possibly tell him, and he could tell it was devastating to try to share.  
"What does that mean, Cael?" He tried to keep his voice even, but the fear that rose in him spoke of darker things, and he could feel flames licking his skin, though they were not there. The left side of his body felt aflame, and his hand instinctively rose to his left cheek- he could feel the bare muscle and bone there...his old scars from his battle with the dragon were not far, not ever, and now they rose through the glamour. He had no power over it. He was too busy trying to help her, and it was sapping him.  
"He wanted me to leave my body at his will...I had to make room for the dark one...he wanted me to leave my body forever..."  
Thranduil tried to imagine what she was saying. "You were to be the conduit for the enemy?"  
Cael came out from behind the tree, and she sobbed loudly. She was breaking his heart. "Yes...yes. I was supposed to be like a palantir. They tried to...bond me to one. But I fought!" She balled her fists at her sides and he watched the anger wash over her. "I fought as hard as I could! The man in white said I was special, I was the one he was waiting for. But I would not let them have me!"  
Even though he knew he was horribly disfigured, and it might scare her, he decided to drop his hand. The little girl gasped, but instead of hiding again, she came towards him. She came so close he was afraid to move, worried he might scare her off. She reached her hand outward, her eyes full of concern.  
"What happened to you?"  
He slowly lowered to one knee, and Cael approached him, her hand outstretched. His eyes fluttered and closed as her little hand touched and then cupped his old injury.  
"You didn't look like this before." Her eyes were full of wonder, and he couldn't help the small smile as it spread.  
"I was hurt once too."He carefully placed his hand over hers as she explored his wounds. "A dragon. I fought him. He hurt me, but...I won. It almost cost me my life. It took my son's mother from this world."  
Cael inspected him carefully, and he looked long into her hazel eyes. "I am so sorry, Thranduil Oropherion. But how did you hide? I think I can tell...you are hiding behind magic."  
He didn't mean to jerk back, and she quickly withdrew her hand, the fear back in her eyes. He reached out and took both her hands in his, so tiny as he cradled them in his palms.  
"Yes, my little Cael. The king cannot be seen with such horrific scars."  
She shook her head slightly, her eyes searching his. "You are a brave warrior. You have nothing to hide."  
Now he truly smiled, and she smiled too. "Neither do you, little one. You should come out. You are broken, and we must fix you."  
She tried to take her hands away, her eyes full of distrust. "Will you cut me again?"  
"Oh, no no, I promise I will never hurt you again." He let her hands go, but she kept them in his open palms, and he could see the wonder of it all there as she turned her hands back to front in the expanse of his wide palms.  
"My naneth was Ñoldor. She was strong and beautiful. She taught me many things...but I have never met another elf before... my naneth was ashamed of her love for my ada. I never met him...she said he was just a man, but he was also a great warrior. They killed him. Naneth escaped with me. She knew the man in white was after us, and she knew I was special. She tried to hide me, but..." Cael began to weep again, and Thranduil took her in his arms. She sobbed against his shoulder, and he shushed her, caressed her back comfortingly.  
"Cael...you should come out of hiding. You are in my world, and you are very lost. You need to let go of all these things that you are holding onto...your mind is fragmented, my dearest."   
"I can't...don't you see?" Cael pulled back and looked into the king's eyes, white and blind as one of them were. "If I do that...I could break altogether. I can't do that. I have to protect us. We have to stay strong."  
Thranduil rubbed her shoulders. "No, young one. You must let go. Please promise me you'll try."  
Cael said nothing but nodded. She tried to smile again, but the tears still fell. He caught them and held them in his hand...and when he opened them again, little white gems were there instead of her tears. Her expression was pure shock and awe, and Thranduil laughed then. He spilled them into her hand, five tiny white gems.  
"How did you..." She stared at them, her mouth open and her eyes wide in wonder. The king only smiled at her.   
"Fear not, Cael. I will endeavor to help you. You are in my house, and you need not weep any longer. You are safe with me."  
Her bottom lip trembled as she fought back the tears, these of gratefulness this time. She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him in a desperate embrace, and he happily returned the gesture.  
"But we have some work to do. You see, your leg, my dear..."  
Cael stood up straight, letting go of him, and looked down at her left leg. It was black and bruised, horrid looking gouges that didn't seem to bother her here, in his forest, in this moment they shared together.  
"Yes, you see it there. We have to heal it now. That's why I'm here."  
Her hazel eyes pierced him, the fear and distrust returning.  
"All you have to do..." He took her hands in his again. "...is sing with me. Surely you can do that, yes Cael?"  
"I'm scared." Her pout was adorable, but he wasn't going to give in.  
"Yes...but you shouldn't be. I will do the healing, just follow along with me. Can you try?"  
Cael finally nodded, but her eyes showed him she was still unsure. Thranduil did not waste any more time, he began to sing, and the same words he sang there in the place they met were the same he sang in the chamber where her pitiful body lay, her body straining under the heavy chains, her mouth open and gasping.  
Maith was watching in shock and terror as the very cave lit with the power of his spirit, his voice rising in volume as he sang the ancient words...  
"Ú i vethed nâ i onnad.  
Si boe ú-dhanna.  
Ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad.  
Estelio han, estelio han, estelio,  
estelio han, estelio veleth.  
Esteliach nad, estelio han."  
She found herself drawn to the table, where her friend lay, gasping and moaning under the king's touch, her entire body trembling and shaking. She tried to supress her cry as she watched the black blood and poison seethe out of the spider bite...the king was healing her! At just that moment, the king half-turned, his hands still on her patient, and she could see his horrible open wounds, his face disfigured, his eye white and blind.   
"GET. OUT." Even his voice sounded like an evil spirit had possessed him, and she ran as as far and as fast as she could, stumbling over stone, scraped skin off her knee, bruised her leg and hurt her foot trying to escape.************************************************  
Days later. Maith had not been allowed down to the dungeon to see to her charge. Not one individual stepped forward to tell her why,no one could answer any of her incessant questions, and after the third day she was filled with such anger that it shook her to the bone. She paced her bedroom quarters and contemplated storming the king's throne room to demand answers. As if he heard her very thoughts, a messenger came to her room to tell her she was required in the king's quarters. Every hair on her head was raised as she made her way down to the throne room, where down another set of stairs was his private chamber. Ryvvik himself stood guard at the heavy wooden doors, and as she approached, he did not speak, only opened the door and gestured for her to enter.   
Inside it was dark, with only a small lamp on a desk for light. She hesitated at the doorway, and Ryvvik closed the door anyway, leaving her there exposed.  
"Come in." The king's commanding voice urged her forward. She could see him on his bed, the covers up to his bare chest. Her eyes were still adjusting, but he was watching her carefully as she slowly approached the bed. She came as far as she could, but not too close, and bowed, keeping her face low and her eyes down.  
"Closer, Maith."  
She hesitated again, and she heard him sigh. She did not want to anger him, so she did as he bade her. Now she could see him in the lamplight, and the open wound on the left side of his face was still there. She wondered now if that was why he called her.  
"That's enough." His voice stopped her at the foot of the bed. "You will not speak a word of what you saw in the dungeon. You will not speak of what you see and hear tonight. Is that clear?"  
Maith stumbled on her words, but she finally sputtered,"What of my friend? Does she live?"  
The king's smile looked sadistic on his tortured face. "Why, yes. Of course she does. Do you think me some monster? I look the part, don't I?"  
Maith sputtered again. "No, my king. You just look hurt. Is there anything I can do to help?"  
The smile quickly faded. The king fixed her with his one good eye. "It is all too late for that. But as far as your friend. I cast out the poison from her. It cost me dearly.I must recover."  
Maith struggled with her next question, but she asked anyway. "Yes, I saw what you did. But...why?"  
The king did not answer for a long time. He seemed to be coldly assessing her, but really he was struggling with it himself. "I have to keep her alive. At least until Gandalf the Grey returns. Until then she is in her own chamber. Not far from your own, I might add."  
Maith tried not to jump up and down for joy. "Oh thank you, thank you my lord-"  
He raised a hand, and she could see the scars there too. "Do not thank me yet. She is still badly wounded. She has fallen into a deep sleep and...I am not sure she will awaken. I have done everything I can. More than I should have." He sat up straight now, and she had to avert her eyes as the sheet fell to his waist. She could see exposed ribs on his left side, and a deep gouge there glistened in the lamplight. She imagined it was as wet as the day it was inflicted on him. "And you will remember I have sworn you to secrecy, and you will remember that I will be back on the throne soon. I do not want to hear even the slightest whisper about tonight, or the time in the dungeon. There will be...unpleasant consequences. Do you understand, Maith, daughter of Mayothla?"  
"Yes, my lord." She bowed deeply. "Thank you, my lord. If there is anything I can do-"  
"There is nothing you can do to help me. But she is still in need of you. Do not leave her to the darkness." He waited until she looked up again. "Look what it has done to me." He waved her away. "Go."  
Maith bowed again and quickly left the room, trying to keep her face as blank as possible as Ryvvik opened the door to her timid knock. He peered at her curiously, but once again did not speak, and she rushed up the stairs and dashed past His Majesty's throne. She was desperate to find her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ú i vethed nâ i onnad.  
> Si boe ú-dhanna.  
> Ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad.  
> Estelio han, estelio han, estelio,  
> estelio han, estelio veleth.  
> Esteliach nad, estelio han.
> 
> Evenstar  
> 'It's not the end, it is the beginning.  
> You mustn't falter now.  
> If you don't trust it, trust something.  
> Trust this, trust this, trust,  
> Trust this, trust love.  
> You trust something, trust this.'


	4. Warm Shadow

A week passed until the king was ready to be seen, ready to take the throne again. Many elves wondered what could possibly be wrong with their liege lord. He was never away so long, barring a trip of some sort. Everyone knew he was still present in Mirkwood, but no one except Ryvvik spoke with the king. He would see no one else. And as he lay abed, he had plenty of time with himself and his own thoughts.   
It took Ryvvik three days until he finally got up the nerve to ask a few questions of his own. He was bringing in some mulled wine, and the king, nestled in bed, gestured to the heavy curtain that blocked out the light in his quarters.  
"Ryvvik. Would you please let in some light. And hand me my robe."  
"Yes, my lord." He pulled the curtain back and the full light of day streamed into the room. He then crossed the room to retrieve the king his deep gray robe. The king slowly got to his feet, wrapping his bare body in the encompassing robe, and made his way to the natural opening that formed a kind of window. Ryvvik could not help but look at the king's scar as he stood from the bed- it affected the entire left side of his face, his neck, his arm, and his chest and abdomen as well. It looked raw and fresh, and so painful. The commander could not hide his expression.  
"It is horrific, is it not." Thranduil stood in the beams of sunlight and closed his eyes. Ryvvik tried not to look, but the white blind eye had no lid. "That is why I rest here. I cannot be seen like this." The king turned his gaze to the commander. "You must never speak of this to anyone."  
Ryvvik bowed. "I would never, my lord."  
"It is not just my pride, you see." The king turned his gaze back to the sun. "I cannot let the kingdom think of me as weak." He seemed to stop himself from speaking any further, and Ryvvik nodded.  
"But...my lord. Why did you help her? I have never seen you in such a weakened state. I thought you wanted to...end her."  
Thranduil took in a deep breath before he answered. "And I did. But I knew all the healers in the kingdom were not able to cast out that blackness. My responsibility is to my kingdom first, but I made an agreement with the wizard. However I did not expect..." Thranduil looked down and sighed. Even talking exhausted him. "The intruder surprised me. I made an arrangement with her, and now I must keep it." He lifted his glass of mulled wine and drank it greedily before continuing. "It was the enemy I thought I sensed in her...it was what drove my hatred. But instead it hunts her. She barely escaped with her life. She needs our protection. They must never find her." The king stared at Ryvvik now. "She must never be allowed out again."  
"Yes my lord. Will there be anything else?"  
The king shook his head no. "I want to know when and if she awakens."  
"Yes, my lord." Ryvvik saluted him and was gone. Thranduil stayed in the sun until it heated his bones, until he was too weary to stand. He crawled back in bed and lay in shadow, somewhere in between sleep and waking.  
*********************************************************  
Maith would not leave her side. She waited on her day and night, read to her, sang to her. But her patient would not wake. She gave her miruvor, a strong elixir, hoping it would help to revive her. It changed nothing. It was as if the patient were under a spell.  
On the eve of the fourth day, the patient stirred. Maith jumped off the chair she had been sleeping on and stood expectantly over her, hoping she would open her eyes and speak, but after waiting for another eternity, Maith gave up. She assumed the patient took a deep breath in and out, and that was all it was. She retreated back to her chair, when the patient again took a deep breath, and sighing it back out, said one name.  
"Thranduil..."   
Maith froze in her seat and watched her patient carefully. She had to get a message to the king.  
***************************************************************  
"What do you mean, she is awake?" The king stood over Cael's body as she lay abed in her new and far more comfortable quarters. Maith hung her head.  
"No, my lord. I am sorry. The messenger got it wrong." She looked up at him now, in his silver and diamond circlet, his glistening platinum hair brushed to brilliance, his silver green robe fastened to his collarbone. Not a trace of scarring, no bare bone or muscle tissue. He was back.  
"She spoke." His voice hung in the air like frost on breath. Maith dropped her eyes to the floor.  
"Yes, my lord. She spoke your name.That was all. She hasn't uttered a word until today."  
The king froze so perfectly still Maith started to panic.  
"Have you told anyone about it?"  
She shook her head. "No, my lord. Only you. Just now."  
He seemed to relax a little. "See that you keep it that way." He gestured to the door. "You may leave us."  
Maith started to say something, but the ice in the king's glare made her think better of it. She scurried out of the room and closed the door after her.  
The king stood very still, watching Cael breathe. He was not sure what to do with her. He could not risk another visit with her, not like the last one. It had killed him a little. He couldn't do it again, not so soon.  
"What is there to do about you?" His voice was soft, almost a whisper as he spoke through a sigh. The king sunk down to his knees onto the palette by her bed. His hand was shaking as he slowly brought it to her face, and she flinched as he caressed her cheek. The king felt heat rising in his face as he watched her lips part, and he felt his do the same. He carefully pulled his hand back, and she followed it, her lips brushing against his palm. A shiver chased across his spine. "Why won't you awaken?"  
Cael did not answer, she only sighed his name. It made him stop short again, and his breath caught in his throat. What was happening here? The king took her hand in his, and stayed knelt, watching her. He didn't know what to do, he didn't like how he felt. He wasn't even sure what he felt to begin with. Time lost any meaning, he didn't think about how long he was sitting there, he only knew he could wait as long as it took.  
"Thranduil..." Her feathery sigh rang in his ears.He visibly shuddered now, and his skin felt flushed and hot. He opened his robe, his chest bare beneath.  
"Awaken. Join me." His voice was husky now, and it had not escaped his attention. His hand was on her forehead and he began to hum a melody as it formed in his mind, his soul. It was sweet and lilting, and Cael's legs moved, her face twitched. "Yes, that's it. Hear my voice and come to me."  
The energy radiating out of her responded to his- he felt her warm animal energy mingle with his cool ever-present starlight. It stirred him and he let it swell in his breast, warming his heart a little. His face was glistening with a sheen of sweat, and his breathing steepened.  
"Where are you..." Cael's broken voice shattered his meditation. His eyes opened wide, frozen ice in the beautiful lake of his face.   
"I am here." His voice like velvet, the crush of petals against grosgrain silk.  
"Cannot find you..."  
"Here, I am right here." He took her hand and pressed it to the left side of his angular face. His breath was shallow, and the robe felt hot and constricting. If he didn't get out of it soon, he felt he would surely choke on the heat coming from his own body, from hers too.  
"It's so dark..." Her voice was louder, a little more desperate. "Help me, Thranduil," she sobbed.  
The king felt a kind of panic. No one ever said his name, not a subject, not in a long time. But that wasn't what truly bothered him, it was more the sensation that he had left her in those woods, alone, all this time. She was lost there.  
"Open your eyes, Cael. I am here." His voice was deeper, louder, commanding her now. Her eyes flew open, and they were not hazel as he remebered, but a deep green, reminding him of the emeralds of Girion. The eyes of her wolf. She stared at him, her expression inscrutable, and the king would not back down from it. For a moment they regarded each other without words, and then he touched her face, caressed her cheek again. Her eyes fluttered shut, but her nostrils flared. He realized she was smelling his skin.  
"Cael, you must return to this world. Wake now."  
She was still and unmoving again, and the king despaired. He stayed knelt beside her, his head bowed as if in prayer. And after a short time, she suddenly gasped, her hazel eyes wide in panic as she stared in shock at the Elvenking at her bedside.  
******************************  
"What...you?" I tried to draw back in the bed I found myself in, to get away from him. Why was he here? His gaze gave nothing away. I had no idea what he was thinking. He looked flushed and his eyes pierced me unmercifully. Was he going to finish me now?  
"You are awake. Good." And with that he stood and strode out of the room. I looked around at my new chamber- this didn't look like a prison at all. It was a small bedroom. What was going on? Almost every time I woke I was in another part of the cave. But this bedroom was far better than where I had been before, and there were no chains to speak of here.  
Maith came running into the room. I was so happy to see her I almost forgot about the king.  
"You are awake! It is a miracle!" She hugged me, and I did my best to hug her back, but I was so terribly weak.  
"Yes." I fell back onto the soft bed and sighed. "I am so tired. How long have I been asleep? Where am I?" It dawned on me as I tried to move- my leg was heavy and weak, but the pain was gone. "The bite..."  
"I will explain everything as soon as I get back! I have to get you food and drink!" Maith was out of the room and I was left alone again. Was I ever going to wake up from this strange dream I'm trapped in?


	5. Space Weaver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My inspiration for the last half of this chapter:
> 
> https://youtu.be/KJC_2kLuMN4

The king stood with his back against the wall. His quarters were dark and quiet, and he was trying to compose himself there. Ryvvik stood on guard outside, waiting for his next command.  
"This is ridiculous," he breathed. He was sweating beneath his robe, his heart was hammering in his throat, and his hands were shaking. The exchange of power he and Cael briefly shared had sent him into overdrive. He felt his glamour shimmering under the weight of it. Her skinshifter energy and her elven spirit wrapped in the small human package was completely unheard of. The king had never experienced anything like it before. This last encounter left him energized, instead of drained like the first time. And every ounce of his being had responded with vigor, something unexpected, highly unusual, and incredibly exciting. As his body returned to its normal calm and restive state, he smiled to himself. She was awake now, and the real work could begin.  
********************************************************  
Maith came rushing back into my room, holding a tray full of things- wine, fruit, cheese, bread. I almost wished I were hungry. My body was exhausted, but my mind was racing so badly I was short of breath.  
"My friend, are you well? You are...so out of breath." Maith seemed to blush as she set the tray down, and a little smile played on her face.  
"I feel so strange. And you really need to explain why the king himself was in here. I thought he was going to kill me."  
Maith poured a glass of wine and held it out to me. "Can you take this? Small sips only."  
I tried lifting my arm, and it was a lot of work. But the sweet smell was so attractive, and I was so thirsty. Maith was about to spoon feed me something that looked like gruel, and my stomach turned at the sight of it.  
"I don't know about that right now." I looked up at her, and she looked crestfallen about it. "But I promise I will try later." She seemed to brighten up a little, and I smiled my best smile.  
"You have been asleep for days. I was beginning to wonder if you would ever come back. You have been asleep for almost seven days!"   
I wondered how long I had already been trapped here, but instead of asking something I really did not want to know, I took another small sip of wine. "My leg...how did you save it?"  
Maith looked down. "I didn't. The king did."  
I choked on the wine, so badly in fact I almost dropped the glass. "What did you say?" Maith hurried to clean up the wine I had sloshed all over myself, and I felt terrible about it. I wanted to help her, but I was still coughing.  
"I am so very sorry," I sputtered.  
She smiled warmly at me, and refilled my glass anyway. "You must eat, my friend. If you would like something else, please tell me and I will be more than happy to get it for you."  
I shook my head. "I can't even imagine what I could want. I feel...hollow inside. But you must tell me more."  
Maith nodded, agitation showing in her expression as she began. "You were wracked with fever. Even your arm, where he cut you, was infected. I was trying everything I could, but I thought it was too late. The king asked for a report, and then sent me out of the dungeon chamber...but I stayed in the shadows. I was afraid he would hurt you again, and I wouldn't let him. But instead he sang the Evenstar down for you." My confused expression gave away my thoughts, and even she struggled with the words to explain his actions, muttering in elvish before speaking to me again. "It's an ancient song. He drew the out spider venom and all the poison in your blood. I have never seen him do anything like that before." Maith had tears in her eyes. "It was beautiful. And then he moved you here so you could heal."  
I felt so confused. Why would he hurt me, treat me so badly, only to heal me? Fear gripped me. I was still trapped here, I knew I didn't even have to ask. What would become of me? Tears stung my eyes, and Maith took my hand in hers.  
"I will still be here for you, my friend. I wouldn't leave your side when you were sick, and I won't now. We still have work to do." She touched my leg, near the bandages where I knew the bite was still healing. It itched like mad. "You will need help walking. The necrosis was in your leg muscle, and it is still healing. Fortunately the kingdom here is very large, and there are many paths in the caves for us to walk, to regain your strength."  
"I won't be allowed to walk outside, will I." It wasn't a question, and Maith looked at me with sadness.  
"No. Not until the king gives us permission."  
I sat up straight. "So let me ask him."  
She looked panicked. "No. Please, let's walk the caves first. I would not want to upset him, to trouble him with it."  
Anger rose in my chest. "Trouble him? If he wanted to keep me imprisoned he should have left me in my cell. I still don't understand what I could have done to wake up chained to a table!"  
Maith looked distressed. "I am sorry my friend, I don't know either, it was clearly not your fault. You were overcome, and that's why you changed-"  
"Changed?"  
"You...you are a skinchanger, are you not?" she asked, perplexed.  
"A what?"  
"A skinchanger. One that can take the shape of animals. You changed into a wolf, my friend." She peered at me closely. "Did you not know you can do this?"  
I was speechless. Every one of her answers led to more questions. "Please, I just want to wake up." Tears ran down my face now. "Please tell me this is all a dream. I just want this to stop."  
Maith tried to pat my hand comfortingly, and I snatched it away. "You must know, I mean you no harm. I thought you knew. You have never felt the change?"  
I was possessed by a nameless terror. I wished I could run far away. There must be a way out of here. This kingdom was plagued with madness, and I would lose my mind here, or die, or both. Maith seemed to hear what I was thinking, and she stood up. She placed the tray close by me on the bed and moved towards the door.  
"I understand you are confused. I know this must be a terrible time for you. But please know I will make certain that you will return to your full health, and help you to get back on your feet." She opened the door, but turned back to look at me, her expression one of grief. "I will leave you to your thoughts. I know you will have more questions. I will help you with the answers. I will be right outside, in the hall. Please call for me should you need anything."  
After she left, I couldn't stop the sobs. Indescribable waves of emotion washed through me- anger and sadness mixed, with the overwhelming sense of loneliness and feeling of abandonment. How was I going to get out of here?  
*********************************************  
Skirmishes with orcs on the borders of the kingdom had begun again. For many years, the kingdom had enjoyed the peace and silence as they rebuilt their lives. Now, the king sat on his ornate throne, listening to the reports of mayhem and murder. His anger was rising, and he wished for nothing more than to take charge himself. Three of his guard were dead, and now he had their families waiting on the lower dais, stricken with grief. His emotions were a little closer than he liked since his exchanges with Cael, and it was becoming a chore to repress them and remain calm. His subjects did not need him losing his grip.  
The families wanted to bury their dead in the garden of remembrance, not in the royal cemetery. Visitation was limited, since the king's father and mother were interred there. The families wanted to visit their lost ones whenever they wanted, without permission.  
"Vehiron." The king did not mean to interrupt the families as they spoke in low respectful tones, but his mind was already out in the woods, hunting orcs and drowning in a tide of black blood.  
The elf appeared at the king's call. "Yes, my lord?"  
"See to the requests of the families. Whatever they would prefer. Spare no expense." Thranduil looked to the grieving huddle of elves. "My heart goes out to you. I will honor your requests. Berio vin Eru."  
"Yes, my lord." Vehiron quickly took the families in his care and took them out of the king's throne room. Thranduil was left alone in a blind rage, his mind racing as he sat perfectly still on his throne. One thing was certain- he would have no further deaths in his kingdom.  
***************************************************  
The headache was awful. I had finished the bottle of wine and had fallen asleep sitting upright in bed, my upper body against the headboard. I woke again completely slumped over in a pool of my own saliva. This was truly shameful. To make matters worse, someone had come in and taken away the tray and empty bottle- probably Maith. I had to get up. I saw no chamber pot or anything of the like, and I definitely was going to be sick.  
I tried to stand and fell down immediately. It wasn't just the hangover, no. My leg was weak, and when I tried to put weight on it, it went out from under me much too easily. I braced myself as I fell, and now my wrist stabbed pain throughout my arm as I forced myself off the floor and to my feet. I gripped the footboard and held on, trying to adjust myself. The room spun, dark wood and dim lamplight meshed in a kaleidoscopic blur. I heard the door open but I couldn't stop myself from getting sick. All over the floor, all over my clothes.  
"Oh my dear friend." Maith was nearby with towels and the chamber pot, much too late.  
"Sorry," was all I could say. I tried helping her clean it up, but I was too busy getting sick in the chamber pot.  
"I was afraid this would happen. This is why I tried to feed you first!" Maith went on talking as if I was not emptying my guts right beside her. "You need nutrition! And now you need a bath again."  
I finally stopped retching and layed flat on the stone floor of my room. "I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me, Maith."  
She laughed softly. "There is nothing to forgive. And you are making yourself suffer far too much. Please, let me take you down to the hot springs. I promise," she said, lifting me as if I weighed nothing, which I probably did, "you will feel so much better."  
I fell back in the bed, oh so dizzy. "Yes. Anything you say."  
************************************************  
Thranduil stood in his armory, inspecting everything personally. He made mental notes of swords needing sharpened, armor needing repair. His sensation of discomfort was growing, and he was going to follow his instincts, no matter that Ryvvik thought he was being overly cautious. The thought of the enemy seeking to create a master weapon and scrying tool disturbed the king far more than he let on. His final check was on the number of arrows amassed, and he felt it was painfully short.  
"Your majesty. Have you a list we can begin working on?" Etayrion the attiliator waited at the entrance of the armory for Thranduil to complete his walkthrough. The king met him with an impassive stare.  
"You will begin with the pitiful state of the swords. The rust on the blades is deplorable. The armor needs repair and cleaning. And whatever your men are working on stops now. I want arrows. Four times the current count. You will begin immediately. I expect you to report directly to me when it is done." The king stepped past Etayrion as he bowed.  
"Yes, my lord."  
Thranduil strode away, anxiety and fury rising. He was headed to the stables to assess the cavalry. He had thought his kingdom ready for war at any moment, but he found it coming up quite short, far worse than he was willing to live with.  
*************************************************  
"Are you ready?" Maith had some very kind elves with her, and they had seated me in a chair with wheels. I felt helpless and embarrassed, but I knew I needed this bath more than ever. Maith was only too happy to accommodate me, and finally we were off. I was amazed by the size and scope of the kingdom- halls carved from stone and wood, multiple levels above and below, and everywhere were lamps dotted like fireflies across the cavern. It seemed endless and absolutely enormous. Elves above and below spoke in their native language, and I could hear music and singing throughout. I found myself at peace. I knew I should have still been on guard, but there was something so lovely about these people. I was trying to relax, knowing that at least for now, I was no longer considered a criminal in this kingdom.   
After a long time, we were coming to a dark corner that seemed secluded from all other paths. There was a natural opening that led us down to a low-lying pool. The steam that rose from it filled the alcove, and only a few lamps hung to provide illumination. It looked inviting, and maybe a little scary.  
"Well, my friend. This is it." Maith brought me as close to the edge as she could. "What do you think?"  
I smiled. "This looks lovely. Is it really hot?"  
Maith stood beside me and put her hands out. "It feels rather hot at first, but you will adjust. Come. I shall help you."   
I took her hands and she gently helped me up. Carefully she walked me into the pool, completely clothed. I tried to protest but she shushed me.  
"Do you think this is new to me?" She laughed softly. " I have done this many times before, my friend, and I will do it many more times after. This is a special place. The water has many minerals and vitamins to help you recover faster. It is rarely used. After battles, after any sickness." She sat me down on an unseen stone bench beneath the water, which now came up to my chin. The water was rather hot, and I was blinking back dizziness. Maith carefully tore the shift off me, and I cried out in surprise. These elves were so strong. She laughed out loud, and it was so infectious I had to join her.  
"You are going to sit here and relax, my friend. I will find you some clothes. In the meantime, here. Use these." She handed me a bar of soap that smelled like grass and flowers, and a glass jar. "The jar has a potion for your hair. It will clean it and make it shine." Maith smiled at me. "I will return."  
I couldn't relax at first. Even though there was only one way in and out, I kept looking all around me. It was dark and misty, and after a while I couldn't help but relax back against the stone wall in the pool and close my eyes. I could hear the distant song of the elves ringing through the air, and it gave me a feeling of safety and well-being that seemed almost alien to the terror and running I was accustomed to.  
I worked the potion into a thick lather, gathered my long curly hair into a pile with it and coiled it atop my head.The bar of soap slid against my skin as I washed myself, and I could feel my ribs sticking out, bones jutting out from my hips. I had almost disappeared in my elongated sleep state. I had to regain my strength, so I could find my way out of here, with or without the king's permission.   
The sweet floral smells and slow, warm bubbling of the spring sent me to another world, and I almost forgot about my surroundings as I journeyed somewhere calm and comforting. But the loud cursing of an irritated elf woke me, and though I couldn't see anyone, I knew someone was in the alcove with me.  
"Maith?"  
There was no response. I tried to look around, but the clouds of mist in the dimness did not help. Someone was getting into the pool with me. I didn't like the silence, but I also understood I was a guest here, probably an interloper as well. When I did finally meet my swim mate, I was shocked into stunned silence. The platinum hair glinting in the lamplight gave it all away, and as the form in the pool made its way closer to me, I realized it was the king himself. I sunk down deep in the water, up to my nose, and waited. At first it was as if he hadn't noticed me, but I knew better. He stood off to the left, closer to a lamp, and I watched as he slowly cast his head back and closed his eyes. His hair floated out atop the water like a golden curtain, and I couldn't help but stare at his profile in the incandescence of the lamplight. His mouth was partly open, and he let out a long breath. My heart was beating in triple time now, and I could feel the soap running down my temples- I had forgotten about it, and I needed to do something before I ended up with an eyeful of soap and look like a complete fool in front of the king. My subtle movement of slowly lolling my head back to rinse my hair immediately caught his attention, and his eyes flew open and found me. I froze in panic, unable to speak or move. He was as still as a statue, his expression blank. I fought back a whimper, and I knew he had heard it when he straightened and turned towards me. He sat down a few feet away from me and regarded me without words. I tried to be brave but my heart was rattling around inside my ribcage, and my stomach, already not well, felt like it was rubbing against stones deep in my body.   
"You realize I will not harm you." His voice was like the sound of nature itself, deep, cavernous, lilting. I watched the water run in rivulets down his neck, his wide muscled chest, and down, to meet where the pool came up to his contoured midriff. I tried to speak but nothing came out of my open mouth.His hair was soaked and flat, and I couldn't help but marvel at its true length. It was much longer than mine, and far more beautiful. "I trust we can put our past encounters aside. I have no interest in hurting you."  
At first I didn't have any words, but as the anger rose in me, I couldn't stop myself from answering. "You have a terrible way of apologizing."  
His thick eyebrows raised imperceptibly. "There is nothing to apologize for. You were an intruder in my forest. I was far more lenient on you than you could ever imagine."  
A chill ran down my spine, even in the heat of the water, and I decided to finish rinsing my hair before responding. I felt his eyes on me as I cast my head back and ran my fingers through the wet mop of my hair. When I opened my eyes again, I could see his face, angular and beautiful, flushed now, and his eyes glowing like ice on fire as he stared at me.  
"Well. I guess I should thank you. Maith told me you healed me." I watched as the king turned his face away from me. "But for what purpose? Why did you want me dead, but heal me anyway?"  
"There are many things you are not capable of understanding. Things I have no reason to explain to you." His arms stretched out in the water and I marvelled at how long his limbs were. I could not help but watch the water as it shimmered and ran down his skin, the muscles in his arms rippling in the half-light like powerful ocean waves, undulating in starlight. "One day, we will again speak of these things. And only then will I be able to answer you."  
That wasn't good enough for me, and even though I was falling under some kind of spell with his beauty as the catalyst, I still had some of my wits about me. "Are all the elves as cryptic as you? You are holding me prisoner here. Can you explain that? Or is that something my tiny mind could never comprehend as well?"   
My sarcasm wasn't lost on the king. His lips twitched, and for a moment I thought I saw a smile trying to form. But as he spoke I realized it probably was more of a snarl.  
"You are alone. It seems fair to say you have no friends or family to speak of. When my son brought you in you were dying. My healers have cared for you and brought you back from the brink of a pathetic mortal death. And you are still in need of further help. Do you really think I will allow you to stumble around my forest like live bait on legs, drawing more orcs and spiders to my halls?" His eyes glowered at me, and the menace in his expression instinctively made me draw back until I was flush against the surrounding stone of the pool. I had nowhere to go. The king advanced on me suddenly, and I felt a scream rising in my throat. He stood over me now and I couldn't help but cower under the domineering visage before me. His hair was in thick wet plaits around him like a curtain, and the water level was just below his navel. I couldn't look up into those eyes again, I felt I would extinguish on the spot. So I closed my eyes and prepared for anything.  
"You will no longer be treated as a prisoner. You will have the full freedoms of my people. But you will be under watch. And you will not be permitted outside the walls of my kingdom. There are things that hunt you, that are waiting for you there in the forest. I will not allow you to risk your life any longer." His voice was commanding, but there was a tenderness there I had not heard before. Slowly I opened my eyes, now realizing if he had meant to strike me, he would have already done so. His body was a wall before me, and I could not help but scan his torso as I searched for his face. The lean muscle of his frame widened out from his waist, like a V shape, and his neck was corded with thick tendons. This was the body of a warrior, belying its strength beneath the robes he always wore. I could only imagine how strong he truly was. He could easily pick me up and snap me like a twig, especially now in my frail state. His eyes met mine, and if eyes could smile on their own, his did. "Don't you see? I am no enemy to you. You are not a captive. I am just your protector. And you will always be safe here, with me."  
I couldn't stop the sob as it escaped me. There was something so gentle and calming about the king's voice, like a distant memory that I longed for. I broke down before him, my silent sobs miserable and pathetic, but I could not help it. I felt the water stir again, and through my tears and averted eyes I could see his left hand out and open to me, and I wasn't sure what to do. I tried to stifle myself, and as I looked up at him, I could see the angelic benevolence in his expression. I took his hand, and he drew me to him. In an instant I was pressed up against his firm body, and I gasped softly as his arms protectively wound around me. Still I wept, and he caressed my back, sighing something in his native tongue. It sounded like a prayer, and I felt lulled into a calm state. The tears stopped, and I felt the clouds part in my mind and soul. Warm nourishing light flooded my spirit, and I felt it healing all my ragged nerve endings. After a while, I woke as if from a dream, only to find myself in the arms of the king, his naked body warm and firm against mine, his voice soft and deep as he spoke in that lyrical language. My nose was full of his scent- pine, bergamot, juniper, cedar, earth. His forest lived in him. I sighed, resting my head on the soft skin and hard muscle of his chest, and I could hear his heart thundering inside, lulling me even further. He stroked my head, his fingers getting caught in my wet tangled hair.  
"Estelio enni, Cael." The king's voice was an echoing sigh in my ears, and I froze at the last word. I tried to draw back , but the king held me fast, causing me to struggle.  
"What did you say? What did you call me?"  
Finally he let go, and when I looked up at him I saw him transformed. His face was perfect on the right side, but the left...it was the most frightening thing I had seen yet. No skin, no cheek, and no eyelid over a blind white eye. I stumbled back and fell onto the stone bench behind me. I couldn't speak for a moment. The king stared down at me, unflinching, his arms at his sides.   
"You..." I raised my hand out to him, but he remained completely still. "I don't understand..."  
The king took one step forward and seized my hand. He calmly came to sit by me, and the left side of his body was revealed to me, red tendons, pink meat, white bone- his face, his neck, his arm, his ribs, his side. Tears were in my eyes again, partly from panic, the rest from a kind of desperation I couldn't explain as I examined him. He stayed perfectly still, his white blind eye staring at nothing. He would not look at me, and it was almost as if I weren't there. Underneath the water, his hand clutched mine, and he rested it on his thigh.  
"What happened to you?"  
He did not speak for an eternity, it seemed. I didn't see the tear slipping down his cheek until he turned to fully face me, and I could see the anguish on the untouched side of his face.  
"You see my truth now, yes? I hide behind a glamour to keep my subjects at peace. What are you hiding from? When will you remember what you are, where you came from? What can I do to help make you whole again?"  
My mouth opened and closed. I had no answer for him. So many feelings within me, nameless and engulfing. I couldn't speak. I watched in shock as his face seemed to repair itself, and within seconds the king had returned to a flawless state. Even his body showed no signs of injury. I sat in awe of him, but his expression turned cold.  
"You are disjointed and feeble. You must heal your body, and perhaps your mind will follow. Until then, you will stay adrift in the fog of your existence. You should endeavor to find yourself before your spirit vanishes altogether." He quickly turned and got out of the water, a silver streak in my mind's eye, and he stood off to the side, slipping back into his robe. He turned to me and coldly assessed me, and I had not felt so exposed until this very moment.  
"There is a memorial tonight for my warriors that fell to the enemy. I expect to see you there. Maith will see to it." He turned to leave, but I called him to a stop.  
"My...my king, wait." I tried not to shrivel under his glare. "Thank you. For everything."  
He stole a long sideways glance at me, and then strode out of the alcove. I watched his shadow play along the walls, and then I saw Maith standing before me, as if she had materialized from the cave floor. Her look was priceless.  
"The king just left." She sounded shocked.  
"Yes," I said, my head hung low.  
"What...what happened?"  
"Nothing." And I started to smile at the thought of his gentle spirit, his voice in prayer that caressed my soul as his hands caressed my back, and our bare bodies pressed together in the water. "Well...not quite."  
Maith looked exasperated, wringing the towel she carried in her hands. "You will come out now. We must talk. I need to know everything. And we must find you clothes for tonight!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your support! The kudos and reviews are the only reason I continue this. <3 Much love to you all!


	6. Serenissima

The king stood in his chamber, perusing his mammoth library. Mireth, his party organizer, had just left with instructions for the memorial to be held that night. Thranduil was already exhausted. He had wanted to clean himself after his time in the stables, have a moment to himself to gather his thoughts, and he had not expected to find Cael there in the hot springs. She stripped him bare of his defenses, and in his effort to calm her, his glamour had slipped. He had not meant for that to happen. It was all too late now, and the energy it took to reclaim himself had left him spent. Not to mention the intense stirring of emotions he had experienced had washed through him and left him breathless. She had some power over him, and it caused him to react in a way he had not experienced in a millennia. It was hard to supress. It was tempting to give in. He was worried he would lose his composure altogether and fall apart in front of her. Loneliness that he refused to feel had surfaced- his father, his mother, his wife, and now his son, all gone. Even though he knew Legolas was out in the world, it helped him none to know that it was a choice he had made to stay out of his father's halls. For so long the king had let the pain freeze his heart, and stifled his passions to submit himself completely to his reign as king. His kingdom reflected the ruler- isolated, remote, cold, and fiercely guarded.   
Until Cael.  
Thranduil found an old diary of his father's. He had read it before, many times, but it had been hundreds of years since he had cracked the binding. He hoped somewhere inside there would be something to assist in his quest to help the girl. He had to divert his attention from his own mind- every time he closed his eyes, he could see her in the pool, wet and small, her dark hair pasted down in wet curls, her hazel eyes wide with wonder and awe as she regarded him, and then he could feel her soft skin against him, her breasts pressed flat to his midriff, softly hitching as she wept against his skin, her eyelashes fluttering in butterfly kisses on his chest...  
"Tego nin Melain am mand..." He breathed out slowly, feeling his body coming alive with the memory as parts of him long forgotten pulsed and seethed with carnal energy. His heart throbbed in his throat, his skin beaded with a thin sheen of sweat, and his groin ached with a pleasurable torture begging for release. Was it a spell he was under? Was this all part of a trap he didn't see? He whispered for the Valar to lead him to safety once more. He needed their guidance and protection if he was going to make it through this. How was he going to fight it? And for how long?  
*********************************************  
I couldn't believe the beauty of the dress Maith presented me with. It was soft grey, lowcut, breezy and sheer. This hardly seemed proper for a memorial. But after she helped me into it, and fixed my hair, I looked in the mirror and saw a complete stranger staring back at me. Thin and gaunt, yes, but the dress captured the strange tint of my eyes and I seemed ethereal, like a ghost.  
"Should I wear this? Is there something else, perhaps?"  
Maith shook her head, staring at me in the mirror. "Not on such short notice, my friend. And you look beautiful in it. Not to worry, you and I will be sitting together. I will not leave your side. I will keep you safe."  
I let out a sigh of relief. As long as I was far from the king, I felt assured.  
Of course nothing could have prepared me for the moment Maith wheeled me into the great dining hall, and a very tall and imperious elf approached her, whispering in their language. Maith seemed very upset, but the ellon took me from her, wheeling me in the direction of a large T-shaped table. Maith followed, seeming to curse at the ellon, who spun around and pointed at something I could not discern in the distance. I was left at a shorter end of the table, where other elves passed me, whispering and staring. Maith had chased after the severe looking elf, a string of harsh sounding words coming from her mouth.  
I was so humiliated. I was all alone at this wide table, many seats to the left of me, and at the head was a large throne-like seat, leather and dark oak wood, with a pair of carven antlers at the top of the backrest. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as I realized I was only six seats away from the king. Not what I had expected at all. I felt very faint suddenly, and my eyes misted over. Where had Maith gone?  
To one side of the room, a kind of orchestra had gathered. Elves in beautiful finery were making their way to the multitudinous tables and seating themselves, and an indistinct chatter rose as many spoke at the same time. Still I sat, exposed and alone, at the king's table. I kept my gaze down, I couldn't stand the eyes on me and the whispers that could possibly be about me. The orchestra tuned up and then began playing a mournful song, so full of sadness that my eyes watered helplessly.  
"I am sorry, my friend." Maith was back, and her face was flushed as she sat beside me. "I tried to get us to a different table." Just then the music cut out, and everyone stood, Maith as well. I tried to get up, as I realized the king was in the room, but I found I could not bear weight on my leg, not yet. The severe looking ellon from earlier announced the king in their language, and the king waved his hand, gesturing everyone to sit. He remained standing in a black robe and a shining silver and diamond circlet, his hair long and lustrous, and gave a long speech that I could not understand but enjoyed the beauty of it all the same. I heard sniffles and looked at Maith- she had tears running down her face. I took her hand, and she gave me a small smile.   
The king swept the dining hall with his placid expression, and then raised a glass full of wine up in a toast gesture. Everyone returned the gesture, and then all drank in unison. I struggled to keep up, but no one was paying attention to my fumbling. The king had the hall, especially me, riveted.  
When he sat down, the orchestra began playing another song, this one as sad as the last. Food was served, and wine was poured. Maith spoke in a hushed whisper to keep me up to date on everything as it happened, the meaning of the songs playing, the names of the elves that sat near the king. I tried to pay attention, truly I did, but I could not keep my eyes off King Thranduil. He was talking in low tones to his surrounding staff, and he blessedly did not look at me, not once. I, however, was completely mesmerized by him.  
It wasn't until the memorial was over that I finally felt I could breathe freely. I had heard many speeches in the languages of Silvan and Sindarin, as Maith taught me there were two in the woodland realm, though it was hard to make out the differences to the untrained ear. Though Maith was discouraged by the amount of wine I had consumed, she was pleased to have seen me finally eat. There came a moment when the entire hall began to empty, and when I looked around I noticed the king had slipped away. Maith stood and began wheeling me away from the table, and we joined the line of elves out of the dining hall. As we passed through the archway on the way out, we were each handed a lit candle. The long procession filed through the cavernous kingdom, and it seemed the march would never end. A song rose through the line, and I closed my eyes and listened as the sorrowful melody chanted through me.   
We were outside now, I could smell the grass and trees. The line had passed through an egress, and we were all out on an open field surrounded by stone carvings. There were three fresh mounds out on the field, and flags flew at the head of each mound. The singing grew louder, and as we went further afield, I could see we were on the top of a hill that overlooked the entire forest. The sun had just recently gone down, and the stars were twinkling in the coming night. I could see the moon, full and dazzlingly white, hanging low in the darkened eastern sky. My heart sang its own song, and I yearned to run free.   
"Beautiful, is it not?" Maith had fresh tears on her cheeks as she looked down at me. I smiled with satisfaction at being outside of the cave. It was incredibly uplifting, even through the sad singing all around me. The line became a circle around the mounds, and the singing continued for a while. I tried to keep my gaze to my feet, but the tugging of the moon urged me forward until I was sitting in my seat, looking about to lunge. I could see the crowd parting behind me in my peripheral vision, and a cloaked figure emerged, passing through the crowd and heading towards the center. A hand came out and rested briefly on my shoulder as the mysterious elf passed, and I looked down, immediately recognizing the large opalescent ring on the index finger. It was the king himself. A ripple of electricity arced through me, and I shuddered. The cloaked king made his way through to the center with a group of similarly hooded figures behind him, all holding candles.   
The king stood in the center, the mounds behind him, and I now could just make out the outline of his features beneath the hood of his cloak. He sang the last few lines with the crowd, and then it was quiet. He asked the crowd a question, and three groups of families came forth. He addressed them, and they answered as one voice.  
"He asked for the grieving families to come forth, and they are acknowledging him as King of the Woodland Realm and ruler of the Wood Elves," Maith whispered to me.  
The king walked to the mounds and knelt with the families. They spoke in a kind of chant together, and many in the crowd wept.   
"They are singing the ancient song of the undying lands, where we will all meet again." Maith wept openly now, and I reached up to grasp her hand and squeeze it tight.  
The song was over, and there wasn't a dry eye amongst the elves. One of the cloaked figures in the king's company laid fresh flowers on the mounds, and as they stood and parted, one by one each candle given out was set down nearby the burial mounds, after which the procession followed in a line back into the cave. The king and his staff joined the procession back towards the egress, and as he passed me I could see him stare at me from beneath the hood, his features partly visible in the bright moonlight, and I could see his cheek wet with tears. My heart broke then, and I gazed back at him with tears pricking my eyes.  
Maith set both our candles down and wheeled me around into the line to go back in. I was caressed by the full force of the moonlight, and I could feel the night calling me into the forest. The anguish was bitter on my tongue as we re-entered the cave, but I fought it back. I couldn't run now if I tried.  
Later, after I was in my nightgown and snuggled in a blanket, Maith sat in bed with me and read me stories of her people by candlelight. My mind was restless, and I still had so many questions to ask, but I knew she was tired. It felt very late, and I yawned loudly. Maith patted my hand.  
"I will leave you to rest. Is there anything else I can bring you, my friend?" Just as she stood, we both heard a soft shushing sound come from the direction of the door. Maith quickly rushed over to the door with her candle, and stooped to pick something up. She quietly opened the door, then quickly closed it and rushed over to the bed, looking more than a little excited.   
"It's from the king!" Her excited whisper made me giggle. "He delivered it himself!"  
"Open it!"  
"No, you open it! I don't believe it is meant for me."  
The wax seal depicting a tree, or spider, or both (it was hard for me to tell the difference in the flickering light of Maith's candle) was still warm. I broke it and opened the letter to read the careful and beautiful print in my own language:  
"You looked lovely tonight. Aloth will see you in the morning to fit you for new clothes, dresses as well. Sleep well, and dream in peace."  
"Aloth! She is his personal tailor!" Maith stared at the letter. "I can't believe it. This is truly an honor for you."  
I flushed scarlet down to my toes. "I am touched by his gesture...but it isn't necessary."  
Maith looked at me and smiled. "You will have the finest clothes, my friend. Aloth was his father's tailor as well. She is a paragon of perfection, and is highly trusted by the king."  
"But...I can wear simple clothes. I do not need any...finery. I am not that kind of person!"  
Maith shook her head. "This is auspicious. You should appreciate this, my friend, and respect the wishes of the king."  
"I do, I just...feel it's a little much."  
She patted my hand and stood. "I will leave you to rest. I will be back first thing in the morning to help Aloth with the fitting. Goodnight!"  
"Goodnight, Maith." I was alone again, with the candle and the letter. I held it to my face and closed my eyes. I just wanted to be alone with him again, just for a while, though I felt completely out of my mind to think such things. It would be ever so nice to be in his arms while I slept- that feeling of safety he gave me eased my harried mind. I blew out the candle and tucked the letter under my pillow, and settled in to sleep in peace, as granted by the King of the Woodland Realm.  
*************************************************  
Another sleepless night. Thranduil walked the halls, the passages, the stone floors, over and over. He passed Cael's room more than once, and on the third round, he stopped at the door. He fought himself, but couldn't resist quietly turning the handle. He slipped inside and peered at her as she slept soundly, a candle on its last as it guttered on the bedside table. She must have cast off the blanket in her sleep. His eyes traced her curves beneath the sheer nightgown as she lay on her side, and sparks flew in his mind, his body reacting instantly. He had to get out of there...but she looked so inviting to lay next to. He somehow was able to resist crawling in with her, and he made his way out of her room. A tremble joined his racing heart, perspiring skin, and aching sex, and the afflicted king quickly stalked back to his chambers. He needed the cool water of his personal bath, and right away.


	7. Aviditās

It took weeks to walk unassisted. I was sore and tired as Maith dragged me throughout the kingdom, as we were on our third round through maze-like caverns. I had grown accustomed to many of the elves there- Vehiron, Maith's sister Edhellon, and the other healers that were there with me in the beginning, Maerwen and Thenidiel. There was also Ryvvik ,the commander of the woodland army, and the king's personal assistant. I saw a lot of him, and it was obvious the king was avoiding me as he used Ryvvik to pass messages to me, usually invitations to the great dining hall or a letter with encouraging words in my effort to return to my full health. I could not lie to myself and deny that I despaired the absence of King Thranduil. I wished for nothing more than to be close to him. The invitations to dinner were a tease- he never noticed me much less spoke to me, even though I was six seats away from him. I was miserable, but I did my best not to show it.  
Six weeks was a long time. I was standing and walking, but not running and jumping, not yet. The new clothes Aloth made for me fit for now, but I was putting on weight. My bones did not jut out of my skin any longer, and my face lost the gaunt sickly cast I had carried all this time. The spider bite had taken some of my leg muscle, and it was a chore to keep up with Maith in our long walks, but I dedicated myself to it. I had learned a little Sindarin and Silvan, and I often would get strange looks as I mixed the two of them up.   
Early morning on the eve of the eighth week, I had an unexpected visitor knocking my door down, rousing me out of my sleep. I staggered to the door and opened it, finding Ryvvik there in full armor, minus his helmet.  
"Get dressed. Nothing fancy. You are coming with me." He looked impatient, and I shut the door without another word. Ryvvik was often brusque with me, and I tried not to take it personally. I dressed in a plain white tunic, black leggings, and soft leather boots. I was trying to gather my unruly hair in a ponytail when Ryvvik began pounding the door down again, so I quickly rushed out and tried to ignore his irritated eyeroll. He marched quickly and it was a struggle to keep up with him. He led me down past the dungeons and through a pair of guarded doors. I realized I was in the armory as I passed row after row of shining golden armor, row after row of swords and bows, and barrels full of arrows everywhere. We went through another pair of guarded doors and a large open cavern lay before us, well- lit and dry.  
"Put these on." Ryvvik tossed me a padded vest, a strange netted helmet, and pads that I assumed fastened to my arms and legs. As I struggled with the strange gear, he swung a sword back and forth, lunged to and fro, practicing his swordplay.   
"Am I to be your live pincushion?" I walked out to where he stood, in the middle of the cavern. Ryvvik rolled his eyes again.  
"Have you ever used a sword before?"  
"No. Well, maybe. I don't know. I can't remember. I had a dagger in the woods..."  
Ryvvik sighed with obvious irritation. "We will see what you can do today. And then you will practice archery. And we will do this over and over again, until you remember. Either way, you will learn to defend yourself." He tossed me the sword he had in his hands, and drew another out of the scabbard on his hip. "Ready?'  
I held the sword in my hand, lightweight but deadly sharp. I mirrored his body posture, slightly crouched, my weight resting on my bad leg with my right leg in front of me.  
"Attack me!" he shouted, and though I had no idea what to do, I came towards him, swinging and pointing the blade at him. With a flick of his wrist my sword clattered to the floor. "Pick it up. Ready? Again!"  
This went on forever, charging at him only to be quickly disarmed. He was laughing at me. My calf was tight and aching, but I would not give up. Finally, he relented.  
"Let me show you. Otherwise we will do this all day with no positive result," he said, smiling. His arrogant attitude was aggravating, but I worked hard not to show it should it please him further. He stood behind me and guided my arm to properly swing the sword, and fastened an arm around my waist to teach me the footwork required. This was the only time he was patient with me, and we worked through movement after movement, light graceful steps, almost a dance, all the while I swung the sword with his assistance.  
After a long while, Ryvvik let me go. We were both winded and sweaty, and he grinned happily.  
"You must practice. I expect to see you here every day. If I am not available, I will make sure to have someone meet you here every morning at first light." He rested his hand on my shoulder and nodded his head, still grinning. "You have potential. We must unlock it." As he looked over my shoulder, his smile quickly dropped, and his expression hardened again as he stared past me. I looked back and saw the king standing by the doorway, watching us, his expression blank. His silver-green robe clung to his frame, and his long platinum hair hung free without any crown. As I tried to gauge his expression, I wondered how long he had been standing there, watching us.  
Ryvvik left my side and joined the king, and they walked out together. I stood motionless and watched them leave, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. I began attempting to remove all the padding, when I almost bumped into someone- an older elf had silently come up beside me.  
"Greetings, young one. My name is Etayrion, I am the chief attiliator." He gestured to her gear. "Do you require assistance?"  
"Yes, please. Thank you Etayrion." I shrugged out of the gear with his help. "What is an attiliator?"  
He smiled as he finished freeing me. "I am in charge of his majesty's armory, as was my father before me. We have been serving the woodland realm for thousands of years."  
I was always shocked at the longevity of the elves. Their faces could never tell their true age. They truly were a magical race.  
"If Ryvvik would like, I would be delighted to help train you. I have built many of these weapons myself." He beamed proudly at me, his handsome face regal and benevolent.   
"I would be honored to be your student, mighty Etayrion." I bowed in respect, and he returned the gesture.  
"If you come here tomorrow morning, I will meet you. I will send Ryvvik away. He has many other things to attend to that are far more important. I will do this gladly. Come at first light and join the guard for morning exercises!" Etayrion walked me to the double doors and let me out. "Can you find your way back, my dear?"  
"Yes. Thank you so much, Etayrion. Navaer!" One word in Sindarin I knew- farewell. And so began my training. I would get up early in the morning, join the guard, and train in the armory. Sometimes we would go outside and march in a circuit around the kingdom, but most of the time we were inside, running around paths strictly for the guard to use, or marching through the halls. It was exciting, and I met many young elves eager to get a closer look at me, and I at them. I trained with Etayrion for the most part, and he was pleased with how quickly I picked up speed and accuracy with his gentle guidance. I was busy all day with training, and at night I would join Maith and her sister for reading and language lessons. I sometimes almost forgot about the king...but at night I would lay alone in my bed, and with the picture of him in my mind I would instantly recall his voice, his hair, his skin, his scent...it left me reeling. I would dream of him, meeting him in the hot springs, and his arms would be around me again, but this time the innocence was gone. In my dreams his hunger matched mine, the desire to get as close as we could was intense. Our kiss was neverending, even as he entered me, and my legs would lock around his hips. The water would slosh out of the pool from the waves we made. I would wake sweated and breathless, my heart hammering in my chest. I would have to spend my days trying to forget him, throwing myself into grueling training to escape my own overpowering concupiscence.  
*************************************************  
King Thranduil was slowly losing his mind. Though he did not require nightly sleep, he had to have it sometime, and it had become a hopeless situation. When he did sleep, he would dream, and it was always her, always waiting for him somewhere, always ready for him, wanting him, his name a sigh or moan on her lips. The hot springs seemed to be the meeting place, where they would share secret dark desires, things he had not done much less thought about in so very long. He had no need for it, as he had lost his wife in the Wars of the North long ago, and his son was grown and gone. He had only mated once, and it was for life. He had been so sure that part of his spirit had died long ago, but he felt it like a blazing fire in his heart now, and it was taking its toll on his psyche.   
Ryvvik stood on the dais below the throne, waiting to give his report. Thranduil sat as still as a statue above him, staring at nothing. He was exhausted and in a daze.  
Ryvvik cleared his throat. "My lord."  
The king snapped to. "Yes, Ryvvik? What news?"  
"The girl. She has been training with Etayrion-"  
"Yes. I know."  
"She is skilled. I do not know if it is a memory recovered,or if it is natural. Perhaps both. But she is learning quickly. With your permission I would like to take her on patrols-"  
"Absolutely not." The king's voice was like a sword slicing through the air. "Do you not recall what I have told you?"  
Ryvvik hung his head. "Yes, my lord."  
"She is to remain inside. Patrols are out of the question. If she were to be kidnapped...it would prove to be disastrous for her, and this kingdom."  
"I am sorry, my lord. She shall continue her training here."  
Thranduil bowed his head, and Ryvvik returned the bow before he departed. Despite his refusal to allow her out, the king knew it was time to fit her for armor.  
****************************************************  
Maith and I planned visit to the memorial gardens. The natural opening in the cave was heavily guarded and protected by a high wall of thick stone, so it gave us plenty of security to enjoy a night picnic together. We had too much wine and not enough food, never mind that I had been training all day as well. I felt so sleepy and slurred through the strong wine, I knew I had to go to bed soon, lest I fell asleep in the grass. The moon hung pendulous and full, a deep yellow, and as I stared up at it I lost all train of thought. I could hear every leaf blowing in the wind, I could sense the proximity of living moving things, and I hungered to run under the fleeting silver light reflected down on us. My senses sharpened, and I was lost in the drowning sounds all around me. Maith had been calling my name to snap me back and I was not sure how long she had been trying, but when I turned to look at her, she gasped and sat back in surprise.  
"Maith...what is it? What's wrong?"  
She tried to compose herself. "Your eyes...they are green."  
"Green," I repeated, unsure of what she meant. My eyes were hazel, I knew that. More grey than anything, but...  
"No...green. Your wolf is close."  
I suddenly felt very alarmed. What did that mean? I looked at my arms, touched my face. I was still me. All I knew was my senses were heightened, and my vision clearer and more vibrant. As I kept her in my line of vision, I watched her slowly back up.  
"Maith...you have nothing to fear. I am still your friend. This skinchanger thing...are you sure I can really do this?"  
"Yes. I cared for you after you changed. You were near the size of a full-grown wolf." She tried to smile. "Your eyes are the same shade now they were then. Beautiful emerald green."  
I shook my head vigorously, making the dizziness from the overindulgence of wine much worse. I finally peered back at her. "Well? Are they still green?"  
Maith laughed out loud. "Yes, my friend. You can't control it, so you couldn't possibly shake it out."   
"Well, I am glad you can laugh. I am even more confused than I was before. How is this possible?"  
"I do not know. I suppose one of your parents was an elf, and the other a skinchanger? I do not know. I know the king is researching it-"  
"Wait, he's what? Researching it?"  
"Yes, he's digging through his library, trying to find answers in his old books. I thought you knew that. He's trying to piece your story together."  
"No, Maith. You must be mistaken. The only contact I have with him is though Ryvvik, and even he barely comes to see me anymore." I shrugged, and then felt tears filling my eyes. I felt so embarrassed. The emotions I felt for the king were right on the tip of my tongue. Maith sensed my anguish, and she took my hand in hers.  
"The king is a very secluded person, my friend. The interest he has taken in you is unheard of. Some close to him say...he is changed. He is withdrawing even more from everyone, everything. He stays locked up in his library with his books, reading everything. Everyone is blaming you."  
I felt horrified. "Blaming me?"  
"Yes. He has been insufferable. He doesn't sleep. At night he wanders the halls, as if he is lost." Maith shook her head sadly. "It is consuming him."  
My mouth had dropped open, and I felt tears prick my eyes. "I tried to tell him. I begged him to let me go-"  
"That is not the answer. He is worried for you. He will never let you go. You must know it is because he cares. He hasn't truly cared about anything in a long time, besides his people, and even with us, he has always been distant."  
My head was spinning. This was a lot to consume in one sitting. I tried to stand up, fell back down on my behind, and then tried to stand up again. This time I found my feet. I gazed at the moon one last time, and felt the hair rising on my arms and the back of my neck. I needed to get to my room. I could feel a kind of shadow in my soul, and it was growing...I was scared.  
"Maith...can we please get back inside? I can't be out here any more."

**************************************************  
The candles were guttering out in the king's chamber. Books were open all over his desk, and he had fallen asleep on top of one of them. In his dreams, he was running, swift and sure, through the forest in just a tunic and leggings, his hair free and his spirit rising with the moon and starlight. It was joyous.  
He awoke to a scratching sound at his door. It was quiet enough at first, but grew in insistence. Somehow, he knew what was on the other side, and he was not surprised to find a green-eyed, grey and black wolf standing there, looking at him expectantly. A guard immediately appeared and attempted to wrench the animal away, even as it growled and snapped its teeth.  
"Stop." Thranduil held his open hand out towards the guard, who froze in place.  
"My lord...my apologies...I don't know how this animal got in here-"  
"But I do." He looked up from the emerald eyes in the dark face of the wolf. "Leave me."  
"But, my lord, what if it attacks you-"  
"I said, leave me."  
The guard nodded and took the stairs towards the throne, to stand guard there. Thranduil looked down at the wolf, his mind lost in thought. The wolf edged towards the door with a whine, and the king held the door open, letting her in. She padded around his chamber, looking at everything, sniffing everything. Thranduil followed her, watching her. When he reached out for her, she dodged him and went around him, heading into the library.  
"What are you looking for, Cael?"  
The wolf stopped moving and looked up at him, her eyes on him, her ears pricked.  
"Are you lost?" He was speaking to her in Sindarin, though she probably didn't understand. She probably didn't even know she had changed and was loose in the cavern. It was probably some strange dream to her. The king couldn't help but smile. Cael slowly approached him, and he outstretched his hand to her. She looked at it, then back into his eyes, and finally came to him with her head bowed and her ears flat. He ran his hand over the top of her head, and she made a whimpering sound, then rubbed the side of her body against his legs. Thranduil dug his fingers in along her side and rubbed her ribs, and she briefly leaned against him before padding away. He watched her circle his bed, then jump on it. She curled in a ball and rested there with a sigh, still watching him with those intelligent green eyes.  
"So you are staying the night, then?" He walked past her to blow out a series of candles he had on his desk. The room grew dark, but there was enough light from a nearby lamp to see. He removed his robe and leggings and got under the covers. Cael did not move. She stayed at the foot of his bed in a dark ball of fur, too far away for him to touch without effort, and eventually they both fell asleep.  
***********************************************  
It was morning. I awoke feeling pleasantly refreshed, but when I opened my eyes and looked around, I realized I was not in my own room. In fact, I didn't know where I was at all. I felt cold, and when I looked down I discovered I was completely naked. I quickly navigated myself into the bed I was on and dove under the covers. It was still warm there, and smelled familiar...cedar, juniper, pine, bergamot, earth. Panic erupted within me. I looked at the ornate carved bed I was in, the bright white jewels in the ceiling, the beautifully carved furniture everywhere, and the dead giveaway was on a table by the floor-to-ceiling mirror- a stand that held the king's crown and his circlets. My heart exploded in my chest.  
"Did you sleep well?" That voice, deep and echoing, and it came from an adjacent room. I stared at the archway where his voice had come from, unable to speak. There was a natural opening that let in some sunlight, the rest of it covered with a heavy deep red curtain, and before I could answer the king walked out nestled in a white robe. He stood in the rays of sunlight and stared at me. The sun lit his hair like a halo around his face and shoulders, and his expression was inscrutable. I closed my mouth, realizing it was hanging open, and buried myself up to my eyes under his covers.  
"How did I get here?" My voice was deep, my throat scratchy. I had never felt so embarrassed, and as a result my voice was a terrible husky squeak.  
The king smiled briefly. "You changed skin last night. You slipped past my guards and made your way to my door. You curled up on the end of my bed and went to sleep. Can you truly not remember a thing about it?"  
I shook my head. I couldn't even recall any dreams I may have had. My mind was blank. "No, my lord. I am so very sorry I disturbed you."   
The king nodded and looked away. I had the sinking feeling I was in a lot of trouble. He said not a word, and I was on the verge of tears. I wanted to run out but I was stark naked, not to mention his guards would probably seize me, and I would be dragged off completely naked in front of the entire kingdom. I had no choice but to stay under his covers.  
Finally he looked up at me, and I could not discern his expression, but it bordered on scorn.  
"You will join me in the bath. Right now. You smell like a dog, and you are in my bed."  
He tossed me the robe he had on, and I could see the leggings he was wearing drop just as he passed back through the archway. Tears sprang to my eyes. I was terrified. I knew I had no reason to be, he was not obviously going to hurt me in any way, but the shame of the situation, the fact that I had changed and could not remember it...and now I was in the king's chambers, uninvited and unwanted. I finally got out of bed. I wrapped myself in the robe and made my way through the archway. King Thranduil was in a bath the size of a small pool. There was enough room for a small company of elves to bathe there. He had his back to me, and his hair was soaked, hanging down his back and into the water. I let the robe drop and touched the water with my toe- it wasn't warm, but it wasn't cold either. There were lamps everywhere in this part of his chamber, as it was a natural alcove, dark on its own, but there were reliefs carved into the stone around the pool, and more gems smattered around all over the inside of the alcove that caught the light of the lamps and shone with brilliance. I walked into the water slowly. It was clear enough that I could see my dark erect nipples even after I was neck deep in the water. I stayed as far away from the king as I could. He turned to face me and I crossed my arms over my breasts. A little smile played on his lips, and he pointed to a niche in the wall beside him.   
"Soap," was all he said. It was clear to me then he wasn't going to hand me anything, and as I made my way over to it, he watched me intently. I started to uncross my arms, and when I realized he wasn't going to look away, I stopped what I was doing to stare back at him. Finally he averted his gaze, and I felt it was safe to start washing.  
"I have sent an emissary to the people of Beorn. They are skinchangers. You may have family there."  
"Thank you, my lord." I didn't know what else to say. The king gave me his back again and opened a glass jar from another niche in the stone wall. He soaped his hair with the potion that was inside and I couldn't help but stare. He lifted his hair as he washed it and I watched his back and shoulders ripple with muscle- he truly was a beautiful creature, perfect at every angle.  
"You will stay with them. You must learn to control your wolf. I have walked in your mind, and you are broken and fragile. You must put yourself back together. There is only so much I can do." He turned to face me again and found me weeping. "I have no practice with skinchangers. You must learn what to do. The enemy seeks you, meanwhile you are sleep on your true power. You must awaken from this soon, and remember." He approached me and took the soap away from me. I couldn't look at him as I wept to myself. "Turn around, " he commanded. I did as I was told, and he started soaping my skin, his large strong hands on my neck, my shoulders, my back. I tried to stop myself from crying, but the thought of him sending me away was breaking my heart. Then his hands were pouring water on my head, and he soaped my hair too. I closed my eyes and felt his fingers tenderly working against my scalp, massaging it as he washed my hair. I felt his hand open on the back of my neck, and he guided me to rinse my hair. As I pivoted backwards, I looked up into his eyes, and I could see so many emotions in them. His cheeks were pink and his breath was short. He stood me up straight and I turned around and into his embrace. I rested my cheek against his chest and sighed. We drew closer together in the water, and I could feel every inch of him wet and bare against me. I lost all my panic and worry there in his arms.  
"Please don't send me away," I whispered. His arms tightened around me and I gasped for a deep breath. He was so very strong, and I so very weak.  
"I must," he breathed, his voice a near-whisper. "You are a danger to yourself. You must be made whole again, and I will do whatever it takes to help you." His hand caressed the side of my face and I closed my eyes as fresh tears slipped out of them. "You will be safe with Beorn's people. You have learned much in your time here. I have watched you many times these last few months, and I have noted your progress. I will make sure you are heavily guarded until you arrive, and I will leave a company of guards there with you, to keep you safe." He drew back to look at me, and I could see the sadness there in his expression. "You may find family there. And most importantly, you will learn to control your wolf there. And you will have the choice to stay there, or...come back to me."  
I stared into his eyes, so light blue they were almost white. His ethereal expression matched his features. I reached up and cupped his face, and his eyes fluttered closed. I traced the bridge of his nose, the purse of his lips, his rounded chin. I reached up to trace his pointed ears and a sound came from his throat, somewhere between a growl and a whine. It sent shivers through me, and my nipples hardened against his skin, so tight they hurt.  
"My lord...I can't bear the thought of leaving you for any amount of time. I think only of you, I close my eyes and wish you were beside me...you are my only comfort in my nightmares. The thought of leaving is destroying me." My tears fell fresh and hot again, and I could not stop them as I watched his face change through his myriad of emotions and thoughts. "I could never leave you. You nursed me back to health, cared for me, kept me safe..."  
"You are not safe here with me now," he whispered, his eyes squeezed tight, and when he opened them again I could see the hunger there. I immediately drew his face down to mine and we breathed together for a moment, just before he pressed his lips to mine. It was a soft, chaste kiss at first, but then I parted my lips to taste him and he did the same, only he was demanding it from me, slipping his tongue past the gate of my teeth to draw mine out. I whimpered in my throat as he crushed me to him, his tongue filling my mouth, his embrace desperately passionate now, and I could feel him growing against me, larger and fuller, until it was trapped between our bodies, throbbing against my belly. His hands found my breasts, lifting them to softly squeeze them in his large palms. A pulsing growing heat was enveloping our bodies, threatening to suffocate me. He was so much taller and wider than me, I felt overwhelmed and urged by own intense desire at the same time. The king walked me to the edge of the pool to press me up against the wall and lift me onto his hips, and my legs locked around him as he feasted on my neck, my collarbone. I ran my fingers into his thick wet hair, urging him back up to kiss me again. His cock rubbed against my sex, wanting the way in, and a part of me was terrified- I couldn't remember if I had been with a man before, but this was no man. He was an all-powerful elf, a warrior, a king, and he was anything but small and delicate. The sounds he was making as he rubbed against me in simulated sex were driving me insane, and the scent of his skin grew in intensity, until I was drowning in it- the smell of the woods was Thranduil, and Thranduil was his forest. His kiss was neverending, tender but a little crazed at the same time, and his hands roamed all over my body, rubbing, exploring, caressing.Everything he did spurred me a little closer to madness. I wanted him in the worst way, deep inside my body I ached for him, I needed him to fill me up and tear me asunder. I sucked on his tongue, I nipped his lips, I nibbled his chin, and I attacked his neck- a thick tendon on the side was the perfect place to kiss and lick, and even drag my teeth across. Beneath the water the head of his cock nudged against my sex, right at the opening, and I dug my nails into his lower back. He cried out softly, rattling my eardrums with his need as he cast his head back.  
"I can't, we can't..."  
I stopped chewing on his collarbone. "What?" I was breathless, and so was he. I watched as he slowly drew back, staring at me.  
"This is forbidden. We don't mate, unless we are to wed. We cannot continue."  
I froze. The water felt very chilly all of a sudden. "But..."  
"We will bond, as if in marriage, and I would be forever damned. We cannot go through with this. The Eldar are not like the race of men. This is sacred to us."  
I almost started weeping again. "But...I am not all elf. Nor man. Why can't we...?"  
Thranduil shook his head slowly. "We cannot risk it. It may damn us both." He took the steps out of the bath, and I watched him leave, his perfectly muscled and hairless body dripping wet, his painfully swollen cock large and leading the way. He picked up a towel from a nearby table, and held one out to me, his eyes full of sorrow. "I should not have kissed you...but I could not help it. I am sorry."  
I got out of the water, not worried about my naked state any longer, and took the towel from him as he stared at me, his eyes all over me. "My lord, I am the one who is sorry. It is good that I'm leaving, then. I couldn't stop staring at you before, dreaming of you...wanting you. Now it will be far worse."   
Thranduil lowered his icy hot gaze, and I crossed the floor to the bedroom. He was right behind me, and I felt the urge to run. I turned around suddenly and he almost ran right into me.  
"Do not think you are alone." He stood over me again, and his hands were on my upper arms, his grip tight. "Sending you away will give me time to gather myself...You have ruined me. I have not been the same since we...shared power."  
"Shared?" I felt totally confused.  
He smirked. "You thought I was just giving it away? You gave it back to me, and it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I haven't had thoughts like the ones I have been having recently, not for a very long time. It was your wolf speaking to me, sharing energy with me. The entire experience made me...feel. For the first time in a long time...I can feel. You did this to me." He stared into my eyes and I felt every hair stand up on end as he glowed like a candle, walking me backwards to the bed and falling on me as I fell back onto the soft covers. His hips were in line with mine, and I couldn't help but to wrap my legs around him. We were still wet from the bath but as he lit up from the inside, the moisture was disappearing- his glow was warm like the sun. I wondered if I was imagining all this, if it was some kind of dream. But as he took my lips with his again, my nose full of his deep woods scent, his marble-hard muscle and cock against me, I knew I was fully awake. My sex ached for him, I could feel the wetness spreading and getting all over him. His golden hair formed a curtain around our faces and I was going to expire from lack of oxygen. Thranduil seemed to sense this and he cast his head back, his hair falling over his back and shoulders. I dragged my fingertips down his back, careful not to cut him with my nails, and I marvelled at the columnar muscles that ran down from his shoulders all the way to his haunches. He moaned loudly, dragging his cock back and forth against my sex. I almost screamed with desire- he was driving me mad, and I slipped my hands down and around from his back across his sides and down, feeling for his cock and grasping it with both my hands. His expression was one of pain, his mouth open and gasping, and I tried to flip him over. If I couldn't have him the way I truly wanted, I was going to take him the way I could. Thranduil wasn't expecting me to do what I did when he rolled onto his back, our mouths together again, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth. It was the only way I had the upper hand. I knew he was going to try and stop me, but I really hoped he wouldn't. I attacked his neck, his collarbone, and down I went, licking and kissing along the way. I stole a look at him as I neared his navel- his eyes closed, his head cast to the side, his breaths short with a strange keening sound in his throat. Before he could react I had his cock in my hand, tightening my fist around the shaft. His loud gasp was precious to me as I took him in my mouth, and instead of trying to get away from me, he froze perfectly still. I didn't stop, I took deeper strokes on him, joining my hand with my mouth, everything moving in unison. Thranduil finally sputtered out a string of Sindarin, and I looked up at him again. Through a skein of platinum hair I could see the ecstasy on his face, his eyes closed and his mouth open. It was enough for me to keep going, even as my jaw ached from accommodating the size of him.   
"You must stop..." His voice was a breathy moan as his hands caressed and cradled my head. I had no intention of stopping. My sex was rubbing against his thigh and I found myself riding him as such. I kept going, tasting salt and sugar and something that made me think of polished stone.   
"You must stop..." Another string of Sindarin, and if it was possible he swelled even more in my mouth and hands, the head of his cock rubbing the roof of my mouth and the back of my throat. I was so hungry for him, I didn't care, I continued sucking on him and inhaling him. His legs were trembling now, and I could see his hands gripping the covers now, his knuckles white. I was riding his thigh, my shivers of release were near, my nipples tingling and my entire being flashing cold and hot. I tried not to moan but it happened anyway, and it vibrated through him, making him shudder. I couldn't let go yet, I was concentrating on Thranduil too much to lose control of myself. I would have to wait.  
"I can't...you mustn't...I'm going to..." His subsequent groan was so loud I worried the guards might bust down the door to his chamber. His hands were back on my head, my shoulders, and he was frantically trying to pull me up. I knew he could do it in one swift motion if he truly wanted to, but he seemed to be too deep in shock with ecstasy. Thick jets of fluid suddenly filled my mouth, salt and earth and a strange cinnamon-like taste,and he was groaning again, as if in pain. I swallowed it down but there was so much more. He finally stopped me, arching his hips away with a hiss, and I realized it was over. He was gasping for air, and his entire body trembled. I rested my head against his thigh, and he languidly caressed me.  
"I'm not sorry," I finally said, and Thranduil laughed softly.  
"Yes, I know you're not." He pulled me up and wrapped me in his arms. "That was especially forbidden. That just isn't done."  
"I don't care. I want to do it again." I pressed my nose against his flesh and inhaled deeply. His scent was so strong now, and I smelled it on myself, on my face and my hands. "Will you come visit me?" I looked up to rest my chin on his ribs, and was met with a soft glow and a gentle smile. The king was as happy as I had ever seen him.  
"I will." He ran his fingers through my messy curls and I gazed into those ice blue eyes as long as I could. "You are breaking me."  
I smiled now too. "I wouldn't dream of it, my lord. I just want to please you. And maybe get pleased myself."  
Suddenly his eyes flashed, communicating something completely different, and in the blink of an eye he had me flipped over, his body crushing me, his mouth on mine. I couldn't breathe- he moved so fast it was frightening. He feasted on my neck, my breasts, sucking on one nipple as he gently twisted the other. I saw stars, I saw pinwheels of light, and I saw the glow of heaven itself, and they were all my king shining brightly at me. His fingers explored my sex, rubbing all around the aching bead there, dipping inside me, all the while his hungry mouth still suckled my nipples. I tried not to cry, I tried not to moan, but it was impossible. I had my fingers in his fine silky hair, then on his rock hard shoulders. He looked up at me as he ran his mouth down my abdomen, and I spasmed with anticipation. I just wanted him inside me, I couldn't hardly bear it as his mouth found my sex. I looked down at the lustrous blond hair as it trailed down my body, and my eyes rolled back in my head as he flicked my clit with his tongue. His fingers were edging back inside me, and I grabbed a pillow to scream into as his lips pulled at me, teased me, sucked me into oblivion. His fingers thrusted deeper, harder, and I cried into the pillow, my nipples tingling all over again as he added a third finger in. The sucking pulling sensation on my clit intensified, and when I peeked out from under the pillow I caught his eyes burning into me, smiling the way I have seen them do before. I couldn't see or think or breathe anymore, and a million nerves all sang together in a joyous wracking spasm, one after the other, wiping my mind and soul away, leaving me to spin endlessly upwards into ecstasy without a notion of time or space.  
When I finally was able to open my eyes, there were tears in them. My heart was singing to the king, who was crawling back up my body, his hair tracing along my skin. He was breathing so hard again, and his mouth tasted like me as he kissed me long and deep- I could kiss him forever. It was a full body experience, and I felt an endless longing for him there in that tender embrace we shared, a desperate desire to have him over and over and always and forever. I held his face in my hands as he devoured me, my legs wrapping around him instinctively.  
"Please," he rasped, and he took my hand down past his navel. I found his cock hard again, and it surged in my hand as I stroked him. His guttural moan was like music to my ears, and I watched his eyes roll back as I slid down to take him in my mouth. It was not as scary this time, I knew he was giving in to it with no intention of stopping me. I took my time, running my tongue up and down the length of him, sucking and stroking him slowly, until I decided to move faster and harder on him suddenly, making him groan and writhe. It was like honeyed heaven when he came again- his entire body stiffened and practically lifted off the bed as he totally lost control, his cry in a string of Sindarin ringing in my ears in time with my pounding heart.   
The bed was a mess. Thranduil lay on his back, pale and breathless, and I clung to him desperately. The terrible sadness came back to me at once, and the tears burned in my eyes all over again. His hands were on my body, and he pulled me up so I could bury my face in his neck, his hair. My lips were on his ear, kissing it softly, making him shiver, and he reached down to find the covers and wrap us both up. He rolled on his side and covered me with his body, trapping me in a cage of his impossibly long arms and legs, with his chest a hard wall of muscle that I pressed myself against.  
"I am going to miss you, my king." My tears slipped against his skin, and he kissed the top of my head, his nose buried in my curls.  
"Time will pass quickly. You will learn much. When you come back to me, you will be stronger. We can fight the darkness together." He lifted my chin with his finger to stare down into my eyes. I couldn't hide from that look, not anymore. We had shared more than just power, and I was not afraid of him. "I don't like the idea of you going anywhere without me there to protect you. But this is necessary. You understand, don't you?"  
"Yes. I do, my lord-"  
He interrupted me with a small shake of his head. "You will address me just by my name when we are alone like this."  
I smiled through my tears. "Thranduil."  
He smiled now too. "That's better, don't you agree?"  
"Yes. A little strange, but yes. I will do as you ask. I will learn everything I can. I can only hope to remember something of my past. I am tired of living in this strange dream I feel I am in sometimes. But I am a little afraid...all these things you have said to me have only deepened my confusion. I only hope they one day make sense."  
Thranduil smiled warmly at me. "And they will. When you start to remember, we can talk about it. You must remember that you are never alone. As long as I live and breathe in this world, I will be just on the other side of your mind, your soul, your dreams. You only have to reach out to me. I will be there, no matter how far apart we are. Do you understand?"  
I nodded, and then I broke down as he wrapped me tightly in his arms. So bitter were the taste of my tears, in stark contrast to the joy I felt being so close to Thranduil, flesh and blood, with his every molecule riveted on me. It gave me such a deep sense of power and belonging that it sent my spirit soaring. I was going to be miserable without him.


	8. Breath of the Forest

Two weeks passed since I had made a vow of secrecy and escaped King Thranduil's chambers in borrowed clothes, long after he had left with his guards in tow. I had resumed training with Etayrion, and it was as if nothing had happened...two long, painful weeks, without a word from the king. I had such a dark cloud over my soul as day after day passed without a letter, a message, anything... I wanted to forget what happened, I was to leave soon, and I was inwardly devastated with the weight of my heart. The few times I had been up close and personal with Thranduil were precious moments- the only times I had felt close to my true self. If he was right about us exchanging power, then I was terribly addicted to it, and to him.  
I had to let it all go, all that we shared that last night I forced into a narrow treasure chest in my mind. The only soul that knew I had not been in my chamber overnight was standing beside me now, packing my bags for me. I was to leave the next morning for The Carrock.  
"I stuffed plenty of waybread in your pouches," Maith said in a rush, tying up a few bags and setting them by the door. "You won't go hungry, I can assure you."  
"I wasn't worried about that, my dear friend." I took her hands away from the bags and held them. She looked at me with worried eyes.  
"This is a very dangerous journey you are going on. I hope the king knows what he is doing."  
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Maith had never before taken such a scornful tone in her voice when she mentioned the king.  
"He thinks this will be for the best. He is hoping I have family there. Maybe the skinchangers can help me to control myself...maybe some memories will trigger. There are so many good things that can come of this-"  
"Yes, and you might also get yourself kidnapped." Maith took her hands out of my grip.Tears stood in her eyes. "Does he not realize I am still responsible for you?"  
"But you're not, Maith. You have done so much for me. You promised to bring me back to health, and you did exactly that."  
"It's not right." Maith sat on the bed, looking despondent. "I will miss you."  
I sat down beside her and took her hand again. "And I will miss you as well. You have been my savior, you know that, don't you?"  
She waved me off. "The king is going to be a complete tyrant while you're gone. I already know it. He's been so...different lately. Nicer. More patient. Even kind!" Maith looked into my eyes again, searching. "I still cannot believe you spent the night with him."  
I laughed softly. "But I cannot remember any of it!"  
"Still. It had some effect on him. When you leave it will all change back again, and on top of that, I will be lost without you. How long are you going to be gone again?"  
"I wish I knew the answer to that, my friend. I don't want to go, either, not really. I have been so happy here. But..."  
"Yes, yes. I already know." She was back on her feet, and she paced the room. "You must send messages when you can. The guards will travel back on occasion to the Greenwood, to report to the king. Will you please send me letters?"  
"Of course I will!"  
"Ahem." The sudden slight interruption forced us both to stop talking and look towards the door from where the sound came. Maith and I quickly bowed when we found the king himself in my doorway, in his elegant black and silver robe and silver circlet. He looked painfully beautiful, and ever so haughty.  
"Maith. Please excuse us." His deep voice was a symphony of sound vibrating through hollow glacial ice.  
"Yes, my lord." Maith quickly left the room, and the king shut the door behind her. He slowly looked up at me, his expression pained.  
"I started this. Now I cannot bear even the thought of it."  
I shook my head, trying to fight back tears, and words, so many words I wanted to say. I had to try to be strong, like him, even as he started to fall apart before me. He looked completely panicked as he rushed toward me suddenly, his hands outstretched to grasp me by my upper arms.  
"I wish you had been with me every night these past weeks." His voice was a rush of silver starlight through my very soul. I let him take me, kiss me, hold me tightly and tenderly, like I was the last blade of grass in his forest. I fell against him as the kiss deepened. I could taste wine on him, and his languid movements urged me forward, until I was pushing him down on the bed. His eyes were startling blue tonight, and I stared him down with my burning hot gaze as I climbed on top of him. He was the most singularly beautiful creature I had ever seen. I traced my fingers along the hollow of his throat, the curve of his collarbone, and then I dragged his robe down and open to run my hands inside and along the smooth planes of his muscled chest. His eyes were slitty now as he looked up, and I could see the slight flush as it colored his cheeks.  
"Why did you not call me, my lord? I could have been with you all this time." My voice was a throaty rasp as I began a rhythm with my hips rolling against his, and I could feel him growing, hardening against me.  
"I would not be able to resist you night after night, muin nín. Especially knowing you are leaving me..."  
"You are sending me away. I would never leave you."  
"I have been drinking steadily since last night. I cannot bear this. What have you done to me?" He seemed to be honestly asking me, as if I could possibly know the answer.  
"You said it yourself...you started it. I have been waiting fifteen long days for some word from you. Instead you completely shut me out and leave me to wonder if you would ever grace me with your presence again. How dare you?" I smiled, but I wasn't in a playful mood. I actually felt very aggressive and aggravated with him about all of it.  
"Yes, you were busy preparing for the journey, and I was busy trying to win an argument with myself. I have many questions that need answer."  
"About us?"  
Thranduil burned me with a look. "So much more than just that, muin nín. You, for instance. I need you explained. I cannot fathom the energy you radiate..." His hands stretched out, open around me but not touching. "This...is extraordinary. You are so very strong."  
I laughed softly. "I don't feel very strong, my lord Thranduil. I feel weak around you, like I could fold over and over myself until I could fit into your pocket, where I would be most content to stay."  
Thranduil laughed out loud, and it was a raucous noise. "Is that so?" He fixed me with his eyes, suddenly menacing. "You should be careful with your words. If I could I would keep you here til the end of our days." He flipped me over, his body falling right in between my welcoming arms and legs. I tore his robe open even more, until his torso was bare. He twisted his body side to side until the robe fell to the floor, and he was in just his leggings and boots, which were falling off as well. I slipped his circlet off and back, and his hair flowed over us like a soft silver curtain, the very light of a full moon. His soft skin and lithe body melted over me. I could barely breathe.  
"Why are you wearing so many clothes," he growled, and set about practically tearing at my tunic. In moments we were completely naked, writhing on my little bed. He hadn't kissed me again, instead he moved like water undulating in waves on top of me, grinding his hips against me, breathing into my ear and my hair, his hands everywhere. It was intense and wild. I thought it may have been the wine helping him to lose his inhibition and control, or maybe it was the fact that we were going to be so far apart for an unknown length of time. It didn't matter. He was all I could see, smell, feel. His cock rubbed hard against the inside of my thigh, and we were both sighing and gasping.  
"You are mine, now and always. No matter how far you are from me, or how long you are away, you are mine." When he looked at me I could see his eyes on fire, the frosty hue belying the raging heat broadcasting to me. The rush of power between us was an electric vibration that took us both far away and into our own world, where only he and I existed, and the aura of energy widened all around us like a protective bubble. My knees rubbed against his haunches, my nipples brushed against his chest, my hands were sliding up and down his back, his sides. He was rutting against me, his cock grinding against my sex now, and I arched my hips to his, so close to pure agony as the pressure built inside of my belly. Wanting him so badly and being tortured like this was almost too much to bear.  
"I will find you in my dreams, and I will be with you there," I whispered, and it was then that he kissed me. I could hear thunder in my ears as he sucked on my bottom lip, bit down just a little, one hand on my breast and the other cradling my head. I ran my hands across his face as our hungry kiss continued, and I snaked my fingers into his thick soft hair, pushing it away from his face to smooth it down against his back. The air crackled between us, around us, as the dark night of his soul and the burning beast in me met somewhere to form a perfect storm. There was so much more than this kiss happening, and a part of me was terrified.  
And suddenly he was pulling away, leaving me utterly breathless.  
"You will come to my chamber tonight. You are staying the night with me. I will take these stolen moments with you now as a promise for more later."  
"But...but how can you..." I sat up beside him and my vision was wobbling in time with my heart."How can you just...walk away?"  
"I have crossed oceans of time alone. I can wait a few more hours, as long as I know I will have you in my arms tonight." He gave me another kiss, a slow burn that I felt from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, and then pulled back with a sly smile.  
"Oh my lord...you are impossible."  
The Elf King stood and gracefully dressed himself. I fell back on the bed, panting and tousled, cursing him under my breath as he stood looking the picture of perfection once again, gazing at me imperiously. He looked at me with the most dangerous of stares, but I didn't look away.  
"What are you grumbling about? Are you making threats against me?" His voice dripped derision.  
"No. Just cursing you for leaving me this way." I wasn't even going to try to get up yet. My heart was still hammering in my throat.  
"Yes, and this is the same sensation I have felt for weeks, the same sensation we will look forward to after we part tomorrow, for weeks...months."  
"Months? How long do you plan on keeping me there?"  
"As long as it takes. You cannot return until you meet your wolf and become one with her. And the when and how of that is entirely up to you." He took three steps and was halfway out the door before he turned back to look at me once more. His eyes were still a deep blue, his cheeks still pink. I knew what all of it meant. "You will be in the dining halls tonight. I have a gift to present you with."  
And he was gone, leaving me with a heart palpitation and an aching pelvis.  
***************************************************  
"Look, just look at this dress..." Maith was standing in my room again. I had fallen into a kind of daydream after the king had left, and I had lost track of time altogether. I had at least had enough sense to wrap myself in my blankets, otherwise she would have found me stark naked, clothes rumpled on the floor, the very picture of sensual abandon.  
"Are you unwell?" She gave me a peculiar stare as I sat up, clutching the blanket to my chest.  
"Yes, I...after the king left I felt very dizzy..." I knew I was blushing furiously at this point, but I kept my eyes down. "I must have fallen asleep. I am sorry."  
Maith cocked her eyebrow. "Hmm. Well. The king sent for me. He gave me this dress for you to wear to dinner tonight. And I must say I have never seen anything quite like it." She held it up and I gasped. It was long and flowing light green silk organza with tiny white jewels embroidered throughout, and strings of white jewels for shoulder straps. I couldn't possibly...  
"It's fit for a queen."  
My heart was in my throat. "I can't...there's no way. Maith, you're not serious, are you?"  
"If you don't wear it, I will have to answer to King Thranduil. And I am most certain he will not be very kind to me. In fact, I am sure he will be absolutely furious. So please, wear it for me."  
"It looks so long...how am I going to-"  
"Aloth is already on her way to make any adjustments. So...I suppose it's a good thing you are already undressed. Why don't you put it on now..."  
Just at that moment, Aloth came in the room without a knock. She was tall and slender, with a thick head of snow white hair bound in a tight braid. Her bright green eyes held mine with eagerness.  
"Come come now, child. Get up. Dinner is in four hours, and I must make this fit!"  
*********************************************************  
King Thranduil sat on his throne, holding his wine glass out as it was filled again- it was all he could do. His heart was torn in two- he knew he had to send her away, but he hated the thought of her away from him. He worried she would get carted off by the orcs that were hunting her, and an unholy terror would begin because he didn't keep her close. He was dying inside at the thought of any harm coming to her.  
"Ryvvik!"  
"Yes, my lord."  
"Is the company ready to depart at first light tomorrow?"  
"Yes, my lord. But...is it really necessary to cripple our army here at home? You are sending away my best-"  
The king dropped his head to fix his commander with a withering glare that stopped him mid-sentence."You are not really questioning me, are you, Ryvvik? You are only losing sixteen. And a third of them will come back after she has arrived safely." King Thranduil narrowed his eyes. "A mere month for your best to return to the Greenwood is a price I will gladly pay to ensure she does not fall into the clutches of the enemy."  
Ryvvik flushed and bowed his head without a word. His only thought was to protect his king and the kingdom.  
"You will find Etayrion and send him here at once."  
"Yes, my lord." Ryvvik was only too happy to leave. The king was in a terrible mood.  
*****************************************************************  
Somehow, with some elf magic, the dress fit. I was nowhere near as tall as the elves, yet somehow Aloth made it fit just right. My every curve was accentuated, my breasts practically spilled out of it. I was truly embarrassed. Aloth left in a rush of ribbon and pins, chattering about getting ready for the party. Party?  
"It's supposed to fit like that," Maith said with a cheeky smile. "I don't understand why the king wanted this dress in particular, out of all the ones he has-"  
"He has dresses just stashed away? Does he do things like this often? Dress strange females that wander into his kingdom?" I had just finished my second glass of wine and was feeling no pain, and I laughed at my own sentence.  
Maith blinked at me in surprise. "King Thranduil has saved every single thing of his dear departed wife." She watched my face fall and blush furiously. "Haven't I told you the story? Well...what we know of. His wife perished as he tried to defend her from dragon fire. He had forbidden her to go to war, but she would not stay behind. She was a warrior, like her prince. King Thranduil lost both his father and wife in the battle of the last alliance." She had tears shining in her eyes. "His son Legolas is the only one that remains alive in the family tree besides himself. So, I am sure this is a dress that once belonged to the great Princess Melethril. The king has guarded her memory for himself all these many many years, my friend. His heart is forever frozen in time."  
I didn't know what to say. I felt a cold stab of sadness pierce my heart. So many questions filled my mind...and the very idea of this dress I now wore possessed me with a shame I could not fathom. Why was he doing this? I was not worthy of such an honor.  
"Smile, my friend. You are a vision in this. It brings out the green in your eyes."  
Terror clutched my heart. "How green are they, Maith?"  
She laughed softly. "Not that green. Do not worry yourself, your wolf sleeps. Now, sit and let me fix this mess of curls you have. I have my color kit for your cheeks and lips as well. We are going to make you the centerpiece of the party tonight."  
"Party?"  
"Yes, didn't you know? It's a grand send-off for you and the company."  
I rolled my eyes and dropped my head into my hands. "Ugh. I think I'm coming down with some strange illness..."  
"Now, now. Sit down and shut up. I have work to do." I spied Maith laughing silently through the veil of my fingers as I peeked out at her.  
"Alright. Fine. But where's the wine?"  
***********************************************************  
The orchestra was in full swing by the time Maith and I made our way down to the dining hall. The wine was flowing and I could see groups of elves dancing as we crossed through the archway, but it didn't take long for the entire room to fall into an awkward silence as we found our way to our seats. Thankfully it was just a few moments before King Thranduil was announced, and the entire room stood and faced forward. He was wearing a crown I had never seen before, all sharp edges and curves, and made of gold. It fit him almost as a helmet would, and his eyes were still that rough sapphire color as he scanned the room. His brocade robe was white and silver. He looked regal, majestic, and more than a little frightening. The long speech in Sindarin again, his deep cavernous voice filling the smallest spaces and echoing throughout sent shivers down my spine. I understood some of it, the unity of the realm, the coming winter. He mentioned a company of elves leaving in the morning, on a dangerous quest, and he raised his glass in a toast to their safety and the further security of the realm. Then he drank his wine down, as did the entire room, and they all cheered for their king, hailed him, shouted his name. And then he turned his head and stared at me as he sat, and I think I my legs melted as I slid down into my chair. It was so noticeable Maith took hold of my upper arm in alarm. His eyes darkened even more, if it was at all possible, and then he wrenched his hot glare from me as Ryvvik spoke to him in a hushed voice.  
"Are you well? I knew you drank too much wine." Maith clucked her tongue at me, and I giggled softly.  
"You're always right, Maith."  
Dinner was most pleasant, though I could barely eat, even as Maith practically stuffed food in my mouth. The company of elves that were leaving with me in the morning each came up and lowered to a knee beside the king, who, by the looks of it, was giving a kind of blessing. Maybe it was the wine, I couldn't be sure, but my eyes were watering as I looked on. These elves were risking their lives for no other purpose but to keep me safe. I thought of Thranduil and all he must have endured in his long life. I did not want to be the cause of any further loss for him to bear.  
"Where are you going?" Maith tried to stop me as I rose from the table. I looked down at her, and now I had the king's attention. I wasn't excused to go anywhere. I usually would leave after he did, but I couldn't hide the tears as they fell.  
"Just...let me go, please." I rushed out as quickly as I could, racing down past the long archways out of the common areas. I ascended the steps up and away, passing the center of the cave where King Thranduil held court everyday for ages. Just looking at his throne made me choke up even more. I lightly tred the narrow passages of wood and stone, my dress hiked up in handfuls as I crossed into the far ends of the cave. I was fast and strong now from my time in the army, and I was certain I heard a clatter behind me, but I wouldn't turn. I had to get outside.  
There were no guards at the opening of the memorial gardens, though I knew there were sentries outside. I found a bench by a thick pine and sat down, hoping I was mostly hidden in shadow. The sobs came fast and furious. I would have left right then and there if I knew I could make it out. But that was impossible, and I knew it.  
It was chilly out, and it slapped me out of my slight drunkeness. I was still feeling miserable- my heart was breaking for so many reasons, most of which I could not understand as it all bubbled up from some invisble well within me, but the biggest sword in my chest was the one the king himself had placed there. His soul had spoken to mine, despite his worry, but I knew that it was too late, and I could feel him there, lodged deep and whispering from the depths of my murky darkness. I lingered there with his voice echoing in my soul like a song, and I could understand most of it...  
'Mas bennich?...Av-'osto, Cael. Tolo, govano nin...Guren min gaim lín, muin nín...'  
("Where are you going?...Do not fear, Cael. Come, join me...My heart is in your hands, my beloved.")  
"You think you can just leave without permission? Walk out of my halls without even a bow. How dare you..."  
Thranduil was standing before me, towering over me, and his tone was radically different than what I had been listening to. He sounded breathless and wrathful. How long had I been mesmerized? Is that how he was able to find me so quickly? I peered up at him, tears clinging to my cheeks like cold syrup.  
His crown was still on, but his robe was gone. He stood in a embroidered silver tunic and black laced leggings, and his hair blew a platinum flag in the cool night breeze. Those eyes, still dark blue, his glare bordering on sheer fury. I looked around to find the sentries gone.  
"I am sorry, my lord. I could not bear to be in the dining hall one more moment."  
Perhaps the king had been expecting something different out of me at his accusations, some kind of rude remark or snide comment, but it seemed my acquiescence softened him somehow. He let out a long breath, then came to sit on the narrow stone bench to my right. He took my hand in his and sat quietly with me. The air felt good out here, and I looked up at the stars, the dark silhouette of the new moon. I leaned against his arm and rested my head on his shoulder, and he reached over with his other hand and touched my face, wiped my tears away. His hair tickled my face and I smiled, nuzzling into the smooth thick silk filaments to breathe in his scent.  
"You left without my gift. I was about to announce it. And you ran."  
I pulled back and looked up at him. I could see he was still aggravated, but a little smirk played on his lips, lips I wanted so badly to kiss.  
"I couldn't stand it any longer, my lord-"  
He raised an eyebrow. "Call me by my name."  
"Thranduil." I shivered as I said it.  
"That's better," he muttered, and bent to kiss me. I tasted the sweet musk of a honeycomb on his lips, the clear water of a stream in his mouth, the rasp of sandalwood on his tongue. My heart surged, and my breasts swelled in the bodice of my dress as his hand caressed my neck. I should have been concerned someone would find us, but I knew how discriminating the king could be. He had already sent everyone away.  
I raised my hands to trace the planes and angles of his beautiful face, feather light touches that made him shiver as I broke from the kiss to run my hungry mouth along his jaw, up and along his ear. His hands were on my waist, grasping and clawing at my dress as I risked injury from his dangerous crown and nibbled his earlobe, rubbed the pointed end gently in between my thumb and index finger. His stuttered moan was a little louder than I was ready for- after all we were still in a public place. One hand found the bodice of my dress and cupped my breast through the fabric. I felt flames roiling deep in my belly, and I flicked my tongue along the inside of his ear.  
"You must stop," he commanded, virtually breathless. I pulled back and I could see the frustration in his expression. "It has to wait, muin nín. I will have you right here if you do not desist."  
I couldn't stop the smile if I had tried. "My dearest lord Thranduil, will you please take me to your chambers? I cannot help it...you are beautiful under this starlight."  
He looked at me coquettishly. "You are stealing my words and turning them on me. You are impossible. You are going to receive my gift properly, and I will give it to you tomorrow, before you leave."  
"Can we not talk about tomorrow morning right now, my lord?... Thranduil..." I caressed his smooth ageless face, as tones of blue and white shining in the lights of the night sky caught his ethereal features. He seemed to glow. I knew he could on his own, but this light seemed more befitting somehow- he captured the shimmering sparkle of the heavens themselves.  
"You look so very beautiful in this dress, muin nín, like a vision in my dreams come to life. You surpassed my expectations. I am pleased to see you in it." He kissed the top of my head and pulled me against his tall frame in a sideways hug. Even sitting down he was at least a half foot taller than me if not more. "And I cannot wait to remove it later. Come now, I will escort you to my chambers. You will wait for me there. I shall endeavor to join you as soon as the hall begins to empty." He stood, pulling me up with him. It was laughable how short I was compared to him. My head barely reached his shoulder as we walked.  
Thranduil walked with me far more boldly than even I liked. The sentries walked back out into the garden as we returned inside the cave, their faces blank and expressionless. There was not a soul out and about, and so the king had no trouble leading me to his chambers. It was so peaceful and secluded there, the sparse ornate furniture, the gems all over the ceilings and walls to catch the light of his lamps- the rooms were as celestial and divine as the owner.  
"Wait here. I will be along shortly." He pressed his lips to mine, crushing me to him in the briefest of embraces. I watched him leave, watched the door shut, and then I fell back on his immaculate bed. It smelled of him, and so I closed my eyes and shut my brain off to let Thranduil's forest scent take me into a sweet reverie.  
************************************************************  
The night was enveloping me in darkness as I ran under the moonless sky. I was hotly pursued by something I could not see.  
'Not again, please no...'  
Eyes, everywhere in the forest I could see eyes, but the worst...the One Eye, most horrifyingly black, tinged with red, like flowing lava as it searched for me, its unholy light like a torch pursuing me as I tried to flee into the darkness of Mirkwood.  
"THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID..."  
I stumbled and found my foot (paw?) trapped in a tangle of thorns that subsequently rasped around me, dragging against my flesh to bind and hold me as The Eye descended on me.  
"ONLY DEATH..."  
I felt as if I were burning in the flames of the iris, my soul screamed in agony as all that was me threatened to burst apart. Just at that very moment, I could suddenly feel a flood of cold starlight radiate around me, it acted as a shield and the flames of The Eye driven back and away. I could breathe once more. From behind me came a white elk, enormous and glowing, and it stood beside me and gave a scream that sounded more man than beast. The power emanating from the creature left me breathless in a completely different way, and as The Eye retreated as quickly as it had advanced on me, I gazed up at the mystical animal. The eyes glowed white with unnameable life force as it looked down at me in return.  
"Awaken," it said, and it was Thranduil's voice.  
I opened my eyes to find him in bed with me. I had removed my dress and crawled in between his covers to wait for him, and I must have fallen asleep. Now his cool bare skin was fully against me, even as my skin was slippery with sweat, and his long wide hands had my wrists in a loose grip. His eyes searched my face, and I could see the afterglow there, white starlight in a sea of blue- his eyes reflected neon in the dim lamplight of his chambers. My dream was no mere conjuration of my subconscious. That Eye, it was hunting me, and my king had interrupted the torturous nightmare as It sought me out in the realms of the unconscious, wanting me, wanting my very soul.  
"I will not allow it," Thranduil breathed, as if he had read my mind. "You belong to me, and none shall purloin my cherished Cael." His hand rested on my forehead to calm me, but instead I was flooded with visions of murder and mayhem, a tall beautiful elleth running alongside me, burning trees and a cottage on fire, and a tall, long-haired and bearded man in a long white robe, his staff before him, his arms open to us. I cried out and drew back from Thranduil, if only to stop it, stop the painful phantasms of a past that I could not decipher.  
My head was splitting, tears raced down my cheeks. I could not look at him. I lay back on the pillows covering my eyes, trying to force the pictures out of my mind, trying to gather myself. Thranduil waited, laying on his belly, propped up on his elbows. I knew he was watching me, but I had to get control of myself before I looked into those eyes again.  
"I have heard you call me that before...Cael. Is that my name?" My voice was barely above a whisper, but my king had preternatural hearing.  
"Yes. When I visited you in the dungeon and healed you...guarding your mind was a small child, and she told me her name was Cael. She spoke of horrifying ordeals she had been through. She is protecting the rest of your mind from the trauma. It is why you cannot remember anything, muin nín. You are fragmented, and though I could have shared what I experienced from my time in your mind, I did not want to traumatize you further."  
"So why did you just...do what you just did? Open my mind up, whatever that was...it was terrible."  
"It was you unlocking the memories. I only served as a protector for your fëa...your soul. It seems we are already connected, as we have shared power, and you are waking from your slumber. I have already told you, I will be with you, no matter where you are or how far. You need never fear again." Thranduil took my hands from my eyes, and the soft blue-lavender glow that radiated from him was not a trick of the lamps. His eyes were gleaming at me in such a way I felt a shock looking into them. His gentle smile did little to soften his fearsome and majestic appearance.  
"My king...you are...otherworldly." I reached out for him, but stopped short of touching him.  
"It is late in my age, Cael. I will not journey across the sea to the Undying Lands, like most of the Eldar. I will stay here in my forest, and one day my immortal fëa will burn through this body, and I will linger in my forest until the end of the world." He took my hand and pressed it to his cheek, and I stared at him in wonderment- his warm skin contrasted with the cool glow of his power. I had to get closer. I rolled onto my side and clumsily kissed him. I gathered the falls of his hair in a fist at the back of his head and gently tugged, making him gasp lightly and expose his throat for me to lave with kisses. I eagerly pressed myself to him, it was the only way I could express what I felt at that moment- a bottomless terror at the thought of losing him, an undying passion for him, and a love for him that defied anything I could explain. We lay on our sides together for a while, kissing, exploring, all the while the drumming of my heart called a passionate heat from my core, and it grew until it spilled out all over him, all around him, unseen yet palpable.  
"Oh..." Thranduil drew back from our kiss and rested back, awash with the ardency of my desire for him, and I quickly mounted him. His cock swayed and bobbed against me as I lowered myself to attack his jaw, his neck, his ears, my mouth and hands impatient and keen to bring him pleasure. His hands splayed wide across my back, slowly running down to lift me just enough so he could angle himself up against my slippery opening. I wanted him to do it, a high whine escaped my throat, and then he was rolling over, taking me with him. The kiss he gave me was angry, demanding, his tongue lashed mine, his teeth bit and damn near drew blood. I tried to wrap my legs around him, but with one hand he shoved my legs away, only to force them wider apart, straining the muscles inside my thighs. He pulled away from the kiss, and his eyes were glowing again, dark blue fire now.  
"I will not send you away without some part of me with you. I will eternally join us and bind us, so we may burn as a single flame, dispelling the darkness that torments you, casting the shadows of the enemy far from your fëa, and preserving our love in the evergreen amaranthine light of infinity."  
Tears ran out of my eyes, over my temples, and into my hair. I was speechless and astonished. Thranduil was so much more than just a king. He had the power of the sea and stars, the trees and the earth, all shining from deep within his soul. His eyes burned into mine- I could not imagine I was still in my body at this point. I felt utterly transported.  
"You have given me this power invigorate, Cael. Your gift to me can never be reciprocated, but I will aspire to try, over and over." He lowered himself down to kiss me again, briefly, softly. "What say you, Cael of Greenwood? Are you joined to my cause?" His smile was the most beautiful thing about him, the youthful vitality he possessed was apparent in a glow of happiness.  
"I am so honored by you, my king-"  
"Ahhh...no. It is I honored by you. All the forests in Middle Earth, and you were found in mine. Will you come with me, or no?"  
I watched his smile fade, and a pang of fear stabbed my heart. "Where will we go?"  
"Let me show you." Thranduil took my head in his hands and kissed me softly, slowly, his mouth gentle on mine, his tongue coaxing mine out. I heard a melody coming from his throat, and the light coming from within him coruscated ever brighter, until it was all I could see, even behind my closed eyes. The melody became a lilting feeling, and I felt as a boat rocking on the waves of a powerful sea, until it all became a storm of wind and sound, and lightning crackled and blazed in the vitreous humor of my eyes, blinding me and rendering me helpless. Thranduil was chant singing in Sindarin, his hands all over me, and I writhed beneath him, moaning his name. He stopped his song to run his mouth down my chest, his hands cupping and squeezing my breasts, and one by one he sucked on my nipples, all the while my legs caressed his sides, his haunches.  
"Please...Thranduil, take me now...I cannot wait any more!" My cry rang out through his bedroom chamber, and he rose up until he was on his knees with my body splayed out before him, and he fixed me with a look of hunger behind half-lidded drowsy eyes.  
"Will you be mine, Cael? Will you join your heart with mine, coalesce our spirits, and unite your mind with mine?"  
"If I can survive it, I pledge myself entirely to you, my king."  
"Not as your king. As your equal."  
"That's impossible, my lord, I am inferior-"  
"You are my equal, and you will only learn the truth of it on your own, when you are ready." He cupped my chin in his hand, held it, stared into my eyes. "Say it. Say you'll be mine, with me unto the end of all time."  
"I will, I am, forever yours." I wrapped my legs around him as he lowered himself back down to me, and his hips rocked against mine. He was muttering in Sindarin as his hair fell all around me, and that strange feeling of stormy seas rose again within me. His broad hands ran up my arms and forced them upwards as he kissed me, the overwhelming scent of woods, spices and earth intoxicating me even further, and he grasped both of my wrists in one fist as he maneuvered his hips to find me drenched, throbbing and ready for him. His deep groan echoed through me, and I opened my eyes to see the joy and anticipation in his pained expression as he slowly entered me. I felt even smaller than usual as my body strained to accommodate him, and with this he took his time. His lips quivered as his mouth dropped open with another guttural groan, his eyes pinched shut through the long slow thrust in. He stopped when he had filled me completely, and our bodies were joined and sealed at our cores.  
"Oh my...my lord, my king..." I was impaled and breathless, my rapture mirroring his. He kissed me again, remaining as still as stone inside me, and I felt a tide of emotion break through my spirit, my mind, my heart, the very skin of my body, and crash into him, washing through both of us in a spectacular torrent. He threw his head back and cried out as I clenched down on him, squeezing him repeatedly, adjusting to his size and finding transcendent pleasure there. Chills ran over and through me, and Thranduil vibrated with me, finally arching his back to draw all the way out of me, only to thrust in again, harder this time, making it my turn to cry out.  
"Yes, yes muin nín...give yourself to me...let go and I will catch you..." His voice was a song in my heart, his body a sinuous wave on mine, his cock thrusting in and out of me, threatening to split me apart not just from the size, but from the agonizing pleasure. Somewhere deep inside of me, there was an even more sensitive spot that he drove up against, and it was spurring me to the brink of utter insanity. As his ardor intensified and our moans and cries rose in a song of passion, I lost my grip on any control I could foolishly claim to. Again I gathered his hair in my fist and wrapped it around once to bind to the side of his head, and his responding gurgling groan made me cry his name as my eyes feasted on the sight before me- his sinewy sculpted body a pillar of undulating marble, his eyes wide and glowing a near-white, his cheeks aflame and his perfect mouth open and gasping for air. He was right there with me, I could feel it, and as I raised my hips to allow him deeper, my toes pointing towards the ceiling, we both fell off the precipice together, his long wailing groan and my desperate cries a resounding song of passion and ecstasy. He filled me with the hot liquid silk of his body, and I had washed him in the juices of mine. We were sealed in a film of sweat and heat, gasping for a deep breath, as he rested atop me, his body as weak and unmovable as mine, his head on my shoulder and his mouth against my neck. I reached up and idly stroked his face, his hair. I opened my eyes to admire the view of his perfect body, heaving and awash in his starlight glow. To my surprise, I was aglow as well, and my faint amber light met his silver hue to blend together where our bodies met.  
Thranduil was looking at me now, his expression placid, his eyes languid and smiling. "You have so much to learn, muin nín...you are just beginning your journey." He kissed the knuckles of my hand that had been caressing him, and I felt the electric current of it ripple through my entire body. "I will be with you all the way."


	9. Transit Umbra, Lux Permanet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow passes, light remains...

Dawn broke unbidden and unwanted. Thranduil lay in a deep sleep, something he had not experienced in the long months since Cael had been captured and brought to his stronghold. She lay in his arms, her face on his chest, and their limbs were in a warm tangle of sheets together. Their night of wild abandon was over, but the unequivocal pledges they made still stood. The day was going to be a long one, the beginning of many more to come.  
***************************************************************  
I awoke in a start, from a dream of warm winds rushing through the woods to caress my face, and a profound joy from seeing daylight break through the canopy, at long last. For once I didn't wake up in a lather from running.  
The king was stretched out beneath me, lost in a sea of dreams. Still and tranquil was his expression, his breathing slow and deep. I had a few stolen moments to stare in wide wonder at the glory of his physicality. There was no other in the realm as beautiful and fearsome as he. I remembered his voice in my ear, the sound of distant thunder, leaves of autumn trees restless in the wind, the deep vibrating roar of a river wild. How was all this possible, how was I here with him?  
"Must be a dream," I muttered to myself, and the king's eyes opened. Grey ice, the stark skies of winter.  
"Yes, and we must awaken from it." He turned towards me and his half-smile warmed my heart. "Your mind is most cacophonous, Cael."  
"I am sorry I disturbed you." I kissed the polished stone of his chest, warm and soft though it was against my lips. "I was admiring you."  
He rolled over on me without warning. "Your admiration will not keep me warm at night, muin nín. Only your heart and hands ever could." His angled face was less than an inch from mine, and I wanted so badly to kiss him, possess him and be possessed by him, once more, one last time.  
"I won't fail you. I will do all that you ask and hurry back."  
"Failing me is not a possibility. I already know what you are capable of, it is time you found out for yourself." He kissed me, softly, sweetly, and my legs drew up around him. His long dexterous hands were caressing my neck, my side, the curve of my hips, and as our kiss deepened, I dragged his full bottom lip between mine, taking all the sweetness from the kiss and replacing it with yearning. He fought a groan in the back of his throat. "We must get up-"  
"Please...not yet." I arched my back and I could feel him heavy and hard against my belly in response to my incitement. His eyes searched mine, and I couldn't decipher his expression.  
"You are insatiable."  
"Once more, Thranduil...please."  
"Some things are best when they are not done in haste." He thrusted deep into me without warning, and I stifled a cry of surprise. I was sore from the night before, and the pain was sweet and delectable to me. His eyes were glowing as he took in a deep breath. "But I will make an exception this once, Cael."  
********************************************  
The entire kingdom stood outside the gates, spilling out onto the bridge, and crowded along the outer bank of the bridge. I sat upon a horse dressed in a plain tunic and leggings, my hair in a set of tight and complicated braids that I could never replicate, and sixteen soldiers of the Woodland Army sat ahorse in a tight formation behind me. We were waiting for the king to send us off. Maith stood at the front of the crowd, with her sister Edhellon, the other healers Maerwen and Thenidiel, with Vehiron and Etayrion beside them. I felt a part of me dying inside as I looked at the friends I had made- Maith had become a part of my being since day one. And when I spied the king on back of a massive ebony charger, his silver and diamond circlet gracing his silver blonde hair and his imposingly tall frame wrapped in thick winter white robes and clothes to match, I felt my heart truly break in two.  
Ryvvik and Dagor, his first and second in command, rode with him. Dagor had a carved wooden box with him, and Ryvvik carried something with him as well, though I could not make out what it was.  
Thranduil reigned his horse in until he sat across from me, his eyes blue and white starlight shining a promise of eternity that made me fight back a sob. I had to keep it together. The king noticed my faltering and rose his hand up to hail the crowd, and they cheered in response.  
"Cael, daughter of the woods. You leave today on an adventure to strengthen yourself, and this kingdom. May the people of The Carrock give you your memories, and give their fealty to the Woodland Realm. Troubled times loom on the horizon, and we must prepare for whatever part we have to play in it. Alliances must be made and honored. You shall always have the army to guard you...on the journey there, during the time spent, and to escort you home." He nodded to Dagor, who urged his horse forward and opened the box he carried. "I give you armor, fitted to your dimensions, and a sword designed just for you, all of it built and made by Etayrion."  
Ryvvik came forward and handed me a sword in a dark red leather scabbard. I pulled the sword out and my mouth dropped open- a single piece of steel carved with intricate designs along the handle, back and groove of the blade. It was beautiful. There was no way for me to hide my tears now. The armor inside the box glinted with burnished silver, and for a moment I couldn't speak. The gifts were too extravagant, too precious.  
"My king...I cannot thank you enough..." My voice was thick and strangled as I bowed as low as I could on my horse, and Thranduil rested his fist on his chest and saluted me. I returned the gesture, and finally he spoke.  
"Garo lend vaer. Harthon gerithach raid gelin a chwest adel thraw lín." And the crowd cheered. It took me a moment or two, but I finally understood: 'Have a good journey. I hope you will have green paths and a breeze behind you.'  
I choked back my tears, and forced my voice. "Le hannon, aran vuin Thranduil. I owe you and your kingdom a debt I can only hope to one day repay."  
He urged his horse forward and held out his hand. I pressed my palm to his, and in the brief embrace of our hands he passed me a small velvet drawstring bag. A sly smirk curved the angles of his face as I squeezed it in my hands and felt little rock shapes inside.  
"If you can remember what these are, you are ready to come home." His voice was a silken song whispered just for my ears, and my tears suddenly stopped. "Be safe, Cael. I await your return." He drew back and hailed the crowd again, setting off another rousing cheer. Dagor passed the box of armor to one of my company, and the formation broke to an oval shape around me, signalling our leave. I looked back to wave to my friends, and to steal one last look back at Thranduil, seated on his horse, his face a mask of confidence and surety. I would test him and our bond, as soon as we made camp for the night I planned to make sure his vow was assured.  
******************************************  
Glándir. Calenor. Sarnor. Thannor. Megilagor. Maethon. Harnor. Egnasson. Rhawon. Daeron. Belegorn. Tatharphen. Daeben. Duvaindir. Celebrenor. As we rode I whispered the names of the ellons guarding me. And leading us was Braignir, the Captain of the Woodland Army. He was silent and watchful as we traversed a narrow path through the woods. It was dark and gloomy, and it wasn't an hour into our journey when I began to feel terribly despondent. I was lost in my own little world, as the company of elves were silent as we rode.  
We came upon a small creek, and were about to cross over to rejoin the path ahead, when suddenly Braignir froze, his fist up to halt us. Deep in the green distance something moved, a twig snapped.  
"Lhingril!" Calenor was riding behind me, and in a flash he charged ahead, his sword raised to strike. A large spider crawled sideways through the trees and was coming straight for us. Daeron remained at my side as I drew my sword, and he held my reins to keep me close to him.  
"Savo chûr an dagor," he breathed, his eyes scanning the canopy. "Be ready for battle." He repeated his statement in my tongue, just in case I hadn't understood him the first time.  
"I am ready, if you would just let me go!" My horse whickered as my sword glinted in the gloom.  
"No. I will keep you safe!" Daeron held my reins ever tighter, and I stifled a scream as a spider the size of a door frame lunged at us from the forest floor. Daeron let go of my horse to swing and impale the spider on the edge of his sword, and I took my opportunity to charge ahead and help Glándir and Rhawon- their horses had thrown them and they were back to back, under heavy attack as the rest of the company had scattered to fight. I skewered two slavering arachnids, freeing Rhawon, who turned to help Glándir.  
"Dago i goth!! Kill the enemy!!" The war cry was sounded as we were overrun. It spurred me further until I was off the horse and slaying alongside the army. Our horses ran off, but that was the least of our worries as we fought to overturn the sudden blitzkrieg. My hands and blade were awash in slimy green blood, sweat stung my eyes, but I didn't stop swinging. I cleaved through thick hairy legs as they grasped for me, shoved my blade in between the multiple eyes before the mouth could reach me, and drove down into the thick crispy bodies of the terrible insects. It seemed to go on and on, with no end in sight, and I swung and slashed until my arms and sides burned with the effort, when suddenly hands were on my shoulders, grabbing, and I instinctively turned with my blade drawing back.  
"It's over!" Braignir was standing before me, his hands out in a halting gesture, his blue eyes wide. "It's over!"  
Calenor was bent forward, his hands on his thighs as he laughed. "Cael! Ci sui úan! You are a monster!"  
"Yes, I thought we were supposed to be protecting you," Braignir said with a slight smile.  
I laughed out loud, embarrassed. "I have been training with all of you for weeks. Did you think I wouldn't learn anything?"  
We all looked after each other, and then went in search of the horses. Somehow Egnasson was able to round them all up, though one had been hurt in the fight. Thankfully it wasn't a spider bite, just a cut- which I hoped was not caused by me in my haste and fervor.  
"You will put this on now," Braignir demanded, handing me the box with my armor still in it.  
"I might need a little help," I said meekly. He waved at me impatiently, and I started digging everything out of the box.  
Another twenty minutes later and I was clad in layers of burnished silver. It wasn't as heavy as it looked, but I had to assume I would feel the weight the longer I wore it.  
"There. Now you look like us." Calenor nodded in appreciation. "Etayrion's work is nothing short of perfection."  
"Menif hi! Let's go, we are wasting daylight." Braignir charged ahead and the company closed around me once again.  
*********************************************  
We set camp at a clearing in the woods. Braignir would not stop until he found the right spot, and he finally had found a spot backed up against a sheer rock wall on high ground.  
"Only our front is vulnerable this way." He looked me up and down. "And you will sleep in that tonight, Cael."  
"In my armor?" I was aghast.  
"No. The chainmail beneath. You cannot be without some form of protection. I will not have any harm come to you whilst under my watch. Do you understand?"  
"Yes, captain."  
Braignir searched my eyes for sarcasm and found none. Daenor and I set up the tents, mine in the midst of the others for safety. I felt the fuss was unwarranted, but judging from the reaction most of the elves had in regards to the mention of the king's name, I knew there was a kind of unspoken terror there, and the elves would not dare anger their king.  
It was late after eating, and the cold was creeping past the fires. I bundled myself in the blankets Maith packed for me, and I should have been snug and comfy, but the chainmail proved to be exactly what I was expecting- hard and unforgiving. Not going to be an easy night.  
As I lay in my little tent, I opened the velvet pouch the king had given me with a cryptic message the day I left. Inside were five tiny white gems that glowed with starlight. My brain jarred into action, but with no result. What were these gems, and what did Thranduil mean? I tried to calm my mind to understand what it all meant- when I could remember what they were, I could return home. My mind was blank, and I stared at the gems until my eyes hurt and I felt dizzy. I was so sore and tired from the ride, and though the spider attack earlier in the day had jangled my nerves, I found myself drifting off into an uneasy sleep. It was there I searched for him, compelled him to find me.  
"You are sleeping now, muin nín? Are you safe?" Thranduil's voice was a deep melody of whispering trees and rippling brooks in my mind. I opened my eyes to a green forest, much like the woods I had been traveling through all day, but this was clearer, greener, clean. He stood in a black robe chastely buttoned to his throat, a silver circlet around his head, and his hair a flaxen gossamer shroud over his shoulders and down his back. His glacial gaze pierced my very soul.  
"I am being kept safe, my lord. You have given me quite a gift. The company you sent have the wisdom of the forest and the hearts of warriors. Thank you for them, and thank you for the armor-"  
"Is is sufficient? Does it fit well?" Walking was too prosaic a word to describe what he was doing- it was art, almost floating, really. He made his way toward me, and his exquisite hands were on my shoulders, squeezing. This was too real. I looked up into his face and was almost breathless. In this dream state his beauty was magnified, his features seemed carved from marble by the gods.  
"Yes, my lord." I hung my head and looked down at his bare feet. I couldn't help but smile- I had only seen his feet when we were alone and unclothed, and my face suddenly flushed. "Thank you so much. I cannot ever repay you-"  
His finger was on my chin, lifting my head. His expression was inscrutable.  
"You owe me nothing. Every single thing I do for you is a gift from my heart, Cael. I will not rest until you are back and safe with me in my halls. In the meantime I must ensure your safety, and you must strive to return to me in one piece." He stared down at me now, and I felt I was melting like candlewax under his hot glare.  
"There is no other place I ever want to be than at your side." I reached up and laid my palms on the sides of his face, and his eyes closed, and he turned his face to bury his nose and mouth in my palm, kissing the skin there. "Will we be able to do this all the time?"  
Thranduil shook his head, his lips still pressed to my palm.  
"Why not?" I knew how petulant I sounded, but I didn't care. His eyes opened and crinkled at the corners with one of his unsmiling smiles.  
"Because I will not allow your training to be interrupted for any reason. You have much work to do, little Daedhrognes."  
"Young shadow wolf," I whispered, and Thranduil laughed softly.  
"Ah, so your language lessons were not in vain." He kissed my forehead and wrapped me in his arms. His warm familiar scent drifted into my brain and temporarily caused my thoughts to cease.  
"Yes, my king. It is like a poem I cannot remember, a song that I know the melody to, but forgot the words."  
He didn't answer, only held me tighter, and he took a slow deep breath in, in turn taking mine away as I was squeezed ever tighter against his body. When he slowly let it out, the wind picked up through the trees, and as it blew I could smell vanilla and orchids, cinnamon and sandalwood, and his voice became the thunder of a distant storm.  
"You will remember, muin nin. Your time is coming, can you feel it? Yes. Fear not, for I am with you, not only within your call, but present with you. Do not turn aside or lose faith, and you shall find strength in the darkest of times." Thranduil pulled back to look down at me, but his arms were still around me. His eyes were white ice glowing with power. "Remember this moment, Cael. Know that we have this venue to meet at any given time, and it is just for us."  
I didn't know what to say. My tears were of joy, wonderment, and a fear that came from the human parts of me. I stayed locked in the embrace of the king's eyes and arms and felt at peace in his shelter, even as the winds tore the forest down, and he and I stood on a precipice of dark rock in the midst of an infinitum of stars and celestial wind.  
"You will awake refreshed and ready for the next leg of your journey. Travel safely. You are my most precious jewel." The kiss he left on my forehead tingled in the deep recesses of my mind, and when he kissed my lips I felt as if we were falling from a cliff together, the kiss deepening, and we were endlessly lost in the light of heavenly bodies. I was only to happy to be so, because he was with me.  
*******************************************************  
For days we traveled, through all the deep darkness of Mirkwood. I had been here before, and memories bubbled to the surface, ones that I would have been happier to forget. Orcs, spiders, and a faceless shadow hunted me. I was on guard the entire time. Somehow, we didn't run into any orcs, at least not until the last day.  
We had just crossed a wide field of dying grass, and there was evidence of fires recently put out. The sun was beginning to set, and as we continued into another thicket of trees and gloom, we heard a deep guttural voice shouting in another language far afield of our company. The words were vaguely familiar, and I was filled with dread.  
"Metho i megil dhîn!" Calenor drew his sword, instructing us to do the same. Tatharphen, Belegor and Sarnor drew close to me with their bows drawn and arrows nocked. My heart was pounding as I drew my blade and held it aloft.  
"We should dismount, send the horses away," Egnasson said, and Braignir nodded.  
"Leithia i rych!" Braignir cried as he dismounted and swatted his horse on its haunch, sending it running into the groves behind us. We all quickly followed suit, and our horses seemed to know exactly where to hide as they bunched up together past the sea of brown grass we had just crossed. A horrible scream came up from ahead and to the side of our company, and before I could blink, a horde of orcs was upon us. For a brief moment, I froze, watching the archers around me fire arrow after arrow into the jumble of black twisted bodies as they advanced on us.  
"Remember your training! Iston i velthas lîn ne ndagor!" Calenor screamed at me, telling me he knew my strength in battle. I felt jolted back to life as I stared into his blue eyes, wide and fearless as he swung the head off an incoming orc, spraying black blood into the air. Tatharphen, Belegor and Sarnor were still around me, protecting me in a hail of arrows, but I wanted out of the circle. I ducked around Belegor's arm as he drew back to fire again, and I came out swinging with a battle cry tearing from my throat, stabbing high into an orc's throat and staring back into his red eyes as he died on my blade, his hands scrabbling at me and slipping off my armor. Again and again I lunged, screams and cries all around me, though the helmet I wore muffled much of the noise. As I advanced forward into the fray, a dagger came up from the grass, and I found an orc Tatharphen had fallen with an arrow was somehow still alive. I crushed his head with my armored foot, sickened by the gruesome wet crunch, but still I moved forward. Braignir was beset and locked in combat with three orcs at once- I quickly sliced at the heel of one and brought my sword down into its chest as it fell, then had to quickly spin and thrust into another orc as its axe clattered against my armor from behind.  
"Gurth ani chyth vîn!!" Egnasson screamed. "Death to the enemy!!"  
We were hopelessly outnumbered, but I was in awe of the speed and grace of the elves. Death was an art. They spun and pivoted, striking with the grace of dancers and the strength of the ancients. I assisted far more than I initiated, and when I was beset by two or more, one of the company would end up rescuing me. They were never far from me, and I had the suspicion that I was watched far too carefully. My nagging worry came to fruition when Duvaindir came to help me out of a sword fight with a huge scarred orc, and in slow motion I saw the flash of a mystery blade as it thrusted from behind. An orc that had fallen in the grass used the last of his energy before dying and thrusted his sword up through Duvaindir's armor, into his side. I screamed loud and long, gathering the elves closer to me, and I brutally chopped the head off the orc I had been fighting to get to my fallen comrade. The blood was pouring out the rivets of his armor, and his color was quickly fading.  
"Meno uin râd!" Braignir was shoving everyone out of the way. Somehow we had run through the company of orcs, and now all the elves were surrounding their fallen comrade. I stood next to the huddle, tears pouring down my cheeks. This was my fault.  
Braignir tore off Duvaindir's armor and found the gaping wound between his ribs. The blade had pierced through his lung, and we could hear the wheezing as blood filled the spaces needed for air.  
"No, no, no..." Braignir was weeping, as was the rest of the company. Duvaindir tried to speak, but it was useless. Blood was seeping out the corner of his mouth. The end was near, and the elves knew it. I wept helplessly as Duvaindir whispered a name, then slumped in Braignir's arms.  
It was a moment of complete stillness, and I felt a wind against my face that blew through the trees. Off in the distance our horses whickered, and in a numb haze, Egnasson got off his knees and wandered towards the grove where the horses had sheltered. I joined him to help retrieve the animals, and the two of us walked in silence, tears streaming down our faces. I spoke first.  
"I am so sorry..."  
"There is nothing to be sorry for...it is the price sometimes paid for bravery and valor on the battlefield. He died with honor."  
"He was coming to help me, don't you see?" My voice was shrill and I tried to control it. I didn't want to scare away the horses. "It's all my fault."  
Egnasson shook his head, his deep green eyes swollen with tears. "No, Cael. This is not your fault. He took a chance, it's what any of us would have done. How could he have prevented it? That miserable orc was dead, at least it looked as such. You are not at fault."  
I approached the horses slowly. They were rearing and snorting in fear.  
"What are we going to do?"  
Egnasson was whispering to the horses, his Silvan dialect poetic and soothing. He turned to me as the horses calmed, his face a mask of resolute determination.  
"We will send someone home with him, so he can be received by his family and buried with honor. The rest of us will continue to the Carrock."  
****************************************************  
After collecting the orc bodies and massing them in a pile to burn them, it was decided that Maethon and Daeben both would return home with Duvaindir's body. It was a terrible goodbye. I was so lost and shook down that I couldn't gather my strength, though I faked it the best I could. With heavy hearts we parted ways. The Carrock was a day away, meanwhile the ride home was close to two weeks. We had come so far...  
"When we get to the Carrock, four of us will stay with you." Braignir rode beside me, his face a stoic blank slate. I know the weight of his fallen soldier was heavy on his soul, but he also was the captain. Weakness was something he could not afford. "I am leaving Calenor, Megilagor, Glándir, and Tatharphen to guard you at all times. The skinchangers already know we are coming, and they will allow us all to stay one night. But after that we will return to the Greenwood. I will report immediately to the King. And I will tell him that you showed much bravery and skill today. I couldn't be more proud of you, and I know Etayrion will be as well."  
I tried not to cry again, but I was still much too raw. "Thank you, Braignir. For everything. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you and the army-"  
Braignir held his hand out to me, stopping me from continuing. "Thanks is not necessary. We are bound by honor and duty. We serve the King and the realm. You are a member of the realm, as well as the army. You will remember that when you return, as you shall serve as well."  
I nodded, and Braignir trotted ahead of me, allowing Sarnor and Belegor to flank me in silence.  
I was lost in sorrow. It had to be another mile or so through the wood when Thannor began singing a sweet sad song. I recognized some of the words, and realized later that it was a song devoted to Elbereth, the giver of light and maker of stars. It was so beautiful, and though my grief was much to bear, my heart was lifted as the other elves joined in the song.  
Miles later, we crossed out of the forest at last. A grassy prairie and deep river valley lay ahead, and the Misty Mountains loomed beyond. It was a beautiful sight, and my heart sang to finally be out of the woods. The air was cool, the sun was setting, and the mountains cast a shadow on the view ahead. I thought of Maethon and Daeben, and I prayed for their safe and swift return to the halls of the Woodland Realm.  
"We are late." Braignir stopped his horse and looked around. "We are out in the open, but we must make camp for the night."  
He found higher ground to the north of our position, and we set up camp amongst a large grouping of rocks there. Calenor caught a rabbit, and Sarnor unpacked some potatoes. We made a stew and sat around the campfire, eating silently, and watched the stars come out. It was a glum scene, and as Daeron stood the first part of the watch, we retreated to our tents to try and rest. Tomorrow we would be in skinchanger country.  
*****************************************************  
"Do not move unless I tell you."  
I awoke to the sound of a snarling female voice, and when I opened my eyes I saw tall figures without any armor surrounding us, their weapons drawn and ready to attack us. Braignir was standing, facing them without a hint of fear.  
"Is this how you greet your guests? Beorn would be most sore to see this sight. We are from the woodland realm! Our King sent an emissary-"  
The tallest of the group, a female, the one that I surmised had woken me, spoke, interrupting my captain. Her long dark hair blew in the wind, and her dark brown eyes were zeroed in on her targets- us!  
"And we returned your emissary with instructions, which you clearly have not followed. You were to come straight to the Carrock, no matter the hour, and not tarry here along the river. Mirkwood is most unsafe, and dark magic abounds. You are also late. And there are fewer of you than I expected. There is also the matter of the she-wolf you have in your company. Am I to trust she is not complicit with the rest of the darkness that crawls out of Mirkwood?"  
"We needed time to recover. There was a company of orcs just east of us-"  
The woman interrupted Braignir with a sarcastic laugh. "Yes, we ran them down. You must have caught the last of them when they retreated. And I saw your smoke column from miles away!"  
"I do not know who you are, but I can assure you I am not in league with the Dark Lord in any way, shape or form." I didn't move but I spoke with authority, even as I lay in my pile of blankets. "Given the welcome we have received here, I would be most overjoyed to return to the halls of King Thranduil."  
The woman lowered her bow, and returned her arrow to her quiver. I was surprised as she held her hand out to me to help me up. I looked to Braignir for direction, and he gave me a nod.  
"I am Signild, daughter of Grimbeorn, granddaughter of Beorn. I am commander of the Carrock. You will follow me."


	10. Ave Rosa Sine Spinis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hail, O hail, thou thornless rose

King Thranduil sat on his throne, trying to control his temper. He was not expecting visitors, much less the ones that were making their way through the cavern under full guard. The full glass of wine he had in his hand was gone in an instant, and he stood to watch Lady Galadriel in her long flowing white gown and Lord Elrond in a dark blue robe cross the narrow pathways to the throne, their jeweled circlets glinting in the lamplight.  
"And to what do I owe this very unannounced and mostly unwanted visit?" Thranduil's voice was deep and clear as it rang out before his guests could even walk up the steps to the lower dais.  
Galadriel's expression gave nothing away, but Elrond's face darkened and furrowed at Thranduil's rudeness. They stood together, looking up at the king, and the guards that had escorted them quickly filed alongside the dais.   
"It is good to see you, Lord Thranduil." Galadriel was a peaceful and calm presence, her gentle smile only adding to her ethereality. "Will you come down and speak with us?"  
"Yes, would you please?" Elrond's voice indicated he had already had enough, and they had only just begun.  
Thranduil stayed perfectly still, as if carved from ice, staff in hand, his greenish-yellow robe wrapped around his lithe frame, his cruel wooden crown perfectly placed on his golden head. After a long, painfully silent stand-off, he slowly made his way down the steps, his arctic stare burning into his guests. He stood in front of Elrond and Galadriel, each of them as tall as the other. A rush of whispers, a deep distant rumbling, and the soft glow became a dazzling white- Elrond looked sideways at Galadriel, who remained peaceful and smiling in her growing shroud of light.  
"King Thranduil, son of Oropher. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"  
"Stop trying to get into my mind, O Lady of Light." Thranduil narrowed his eyes at her, his voice a stream of poison. "If you have a question, you have but to ask."  
Galadriel's voice echoed in the chambers of the cavern, and of the mind. "Do you forget my mirror, my lord? I have but one question to ask you...who do you think you are?"  
Thranduil snorted, turning away from the elves. "I have no reason to answer you. You keep that ring of power with you...a piece of the very deceit that has brought us to war over and over! And you dare come to my halls to question me?!?"  
Galadriel moved slowly, gliding towards the king, her hand outstretched. She clamped down on his shoulder before Thranduil knew what was happening, and she easily brought him to his knees, his staff falling to the ground as he whimpered, the glamour torn away to reveal his wounds anew, blood welling and oozing out of them. The guards moved to protect their king, but one wave of Galadriel's hand and they were unable to take another step.  
"You forget yourself, young one. I was there when you most needed me." She looked up at Elrond, whose face was a shroud of alarm. "Lord Elrond and I healed you. We gave you your life back. Do you not remember?"  
Thranduil, still on his knees, fought to hold his head up high and stare at her, one eye milky white and the other a flashing blue sapphire. "And you left my wife and father to die! For what purpose did you bring me back from the brink? So I could suffer their losses? I would have rather died with them!" His voice was a thunderous roar, even as he trembled under Galadriel's might.   
"You already know we did everything we could, Thranduil." Galadriel's voice was soft and soothing, even as she had the king cowed at her feet. "And for you to wish your life away is not what was intended." She took her hand from his shoulder, but Thranduil could not rise. His entire body trembled, sweat poured from his skin. The pain of his wounds was fresh, as if it had just happened not long ago, and it weakened him considerably. He was hunched over, panting, trying to regain control of himself.  
"How dare you..." His voice was a throaty growl. "Is this what you wanted? To see me weak and on my knees? It is only by force that I am so debased. You dare humiliate me in front of my people! Would you allow such a thing in your halls, witch?"  
Elrond took a step towards the king. "We did not come here with any ill intent, Thranduil. We were sent in Mithrandir's stead."  
Thranduil scoffed. He slowly rose to his feet, the tremors in his body visible as he stood. He turned to look at his guests, and Elrond could not hide the horror he felt when he looked at the king's face- fresh blood had run from the wounds and clotted at his neck. The bare tendons of his face shone and pulsed, and the white eye dribbled fluid and mixed in with the blood and ooze on what was left of his cheek. Thranduil saw the concern and shock on Elrond's face, and despite the fact that it hurt terribly, he smiled ghoulishly at them.  
"Do you think I want to see either of you? What would possess you to come all this way, completely unannounced? The wizard and I had business together that is none of your affair-"  
"But you see, my lord Thranduil, that is entirely not the case. I have been watching your skinchanger for quite some time. There is plenty cause for all of Middle Earth to be concerned. Should she fall into the hands of Sauron it would only further the doom of every known species that walks Endor. And you let her go." Galadriel's voice echoed through the chamber, and Thranduil felt he was standing on the edge of a cliff. One more step and he would lose his temper altogether.  
"She was found in my forest. She had been lost out there for Eru knows how long. If you had been watching her then your abilities are failing as she was under constant attack! If you knew of her, how could you fail her so?" Thranduil shuddered as he struggled to regain his glamour. He faltered, catching himself on a guard, and he strangled a moan as the magic did its work. "I sent her to the Carrock to learn control of her wolf. She was shifting in her sleep- escaping the caves was only a matter of time. And then doom would truly be upon us. Would you have me risk such a thing?" Finally he was able to stand without falling, and if it weren't for the blood everywhere, he looked like himself again. Galadriel took another step forward, and Thranduil shrank back. "Not any closer."  
"I am sorry to have reminded you of past hurts, but you are far too arrogant, and we mean you no harm." She lowered her voice as she searched his expression. "You may have saved us after all."  
Thranduil's expression showed the scorn he was fighting to contain. "What do you mean?"  
She smiled, and the very air around her changed, reflecting her white glow as a misty fog. "You and Cael...found something together, did you not? Are you not bound together?"  
Elrond's voice shook as he spoke. "Is it true? Are you wed?"  
Thranduil considered them for a moment. "You are dismissed," he said to the guards, and quickly they filed up to march out and away from the throne chamber. It was then Thranduil spun on his heel and approached his guests as if to attack. "Are you completely out of your minds? You have no sense of propriety or decorum whatsoever. It's truly disgraceful."   
"There is no time for decorum. I want the truth, my lord." Galadriel wasn't smiling anymore. Thranduil eyed her comtemptuously.  
"Though it is not your business, I have. And this is as far as it goes. My kingdom is not ready for any sort of union."  
Now Galadriel smiled, like the cat that got the canary. "Why, my lord? Because her father was a man, or her mother a Noldor? Or is it that she is a skinchanger?"  
Thranduil shook with rage as he bit his tongue. "As I have already said, it is none of your business. Nor anyone else's. Why should it concern you if I chose to risk damnation?"  
Elrond shook his head slowly. "She will have to decide. She cannot remain with a foot in each world."  
"Do you think I am not aware of that, Lord Elrond? She does not remember anything, not yet. She cannot claim anything until she rediscovers herself."  
"She was to remain chaste." Galadriel interrupted. "It was the only way for the dark magic to work. She had to be...a virgin. Even if she were captured, she could not be used by the enemy. But she would be killed, that is for certain."  
Thranduil stood, unmoving and breathless, as the realization of this washed over him. "How could you know such a thing?"  
"It was in my mirror. I had to piece much of it together, as always. I was hoping that what I had seen grow between you and Cael was real, and not something I was wishing for. Her heart belongs to you now. She has something of this world to keep her from washing away. She could endure any torture if she knew you would save her."  
"I fail to see how I could make any difference. The enemy could break her again. She had to have hope before, hope that her mother would save her-"  
"No, Thranduil. You cannot imagine the horrors committed against her poor mother. And she witnessed much of it. It was part of the torture and brainwashing she endured, all of it with the single purpose of breaking her mind. The enemy was marking her with hexes to bind his power to her and seal them together, to use her as a spy, and a weapon...but her changing skin was what saved her from the final act, the one she would never recover from." Galadriel touched Thranduil's arm, and even though he recoiled, she did not let go. "The enemy did not expect her to change skin. All the torture and horrors she had been through forced her into it. Somewhere in her father's line, I suppose, there was a skinchanger. And she slipped away in the night, and ran as fast and as far as she could." She smiled kindly at him, and took her hand back. Thranduil shivered. "She could never be broken again. She has found love, and she knows you will never abandon her."  
There was silence for a long while. Thranduil was absorbing all the information. The three elves stood together in a quiet spell, and then finally Elrond spoke.  
"We will journey to the Carrock to visit her. She must be told of this. It may help her to remember."   
"What if she doesn't want to remember?" Thranduil tried to repress his snarl. "You have no right to interrupt her there. You could set her completely off course. And I will not be there to help her. The Carrock is a rough place-"  
"As I am well aware-" Elrond started.  
"But you do not know her as I do. Your mirror could not know the things I do. I have walked in her mind. The truth is trapped there, guarded by her very soul." Thranduil sighed heavily as he looked away and down. "I do believe you, Lady of Light. But you must realize this. She is delicate. She will need the comfort only I could bring her after hearing such news. I tried to stay my heart from feeling anything for her...but it was fruitless. And I would not let her go to the Carrock alone. I wed her to me for many reasons, but mostly to keep her safe."  
"No one blames you, my lord Thranduil. In fact, I am very glad, for both of you. I am well past my judgmental youth. And it turns out to have tremendous meaning, for both of you and for the entirety of Middle Earth. But she must be made aware of this-"  
"No!" Thranduil grasped Galadriel's arm. "Please. Do not do this. Wait a little longer. She is only just now arriving. You must give her some time." He released her arm, but his expression still bore his desperation. "Please. Let me go to her."  
Elrond looked at Galadriel, questioning her silently. She looked down and closed her eyes as she thought it over, and Thranduil felt her cool power drifting into his mind. He had only to lower his defenses, and she swept right in.  
'I see your heart, Thranduil Oropherion. It may surprise you to know it still beats blood red. You are madly in love with her. But do not let that cloud your judgment. If I promise to stay away from the Carrock, you must promise to exercise your due diligence. You will go to her and tell her all you know, and you will tell her I will be expecting her when her time at the Carrock comes to an end.'  
Galadriel looked up at Thranduil now, a small playful smile on her lips. He was blushing, but his face gave nothing away. Poor Elrond looked confused.  
"So we have a deal." Thranduil's voice was deep and commanding as before.  
"Yes, my lord." Galadriel smiled wider now. "We shall see each other again."  
"Not too soon, I hope." Elrond regarded Thranduil with an arched eyebrow, and then he smiled. "Stay strong, my friend."  
Thranduil watched them leave without a word, his body still as a statue and his eyes glassed over. It was all he could do to hold himself together, as he was exhausted from the effort of regaining and holding his glamour. He needed wine, and much of it. He needed to recover, and he needed to pack.


	11. Following Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed an old Norse lay, "The Song of the Valkyries". It seemed fitting. :)

Long was the walk to the Carrock. Between the two plus weeks on horseback, the orc and spider battles, and sleeping on a lumpy mat, my every body part ached with exhaustion.  
Signild walked ahead of us with her ragtag group of guards, as we the Greenwood lagged behind, walking alongside our horses, keeping a healthy distance between us and them. Braignir and Calenor whispered in Silvan to each other, and I waited for some instruction, but none came.  
By early evening we crossed the Anduin, a wide and powerful river, perilously at best, by way of a crude bridge of slippery stone. It was almost the end of me as my horse skittered at the midway point and about knocked me and Sarnor into the wild rush of the river. Megilagor saved us all, and with Signild and her guard harrying us we finally made it to the other side.   
The Carrock was everything I couldn't have imagined-an enormous miniature mountain with a path carved into it, wrapping around and up, leading to an imperious manse at the very top. The hilly village of the skinchangers was full of well-made homes, all wood with straw roofs. Stones had been laid for roads, and though it backed up into the Misty Mountains, it looked warm and cozy. I had been expecting the worst, a cold and muddy place, full of rough people like Signild and her guard. But as I looked around at the villagers, I realized it wasn't at all as I feared. True, the people looked rather unfriendly as we approached, but that was to be expected. Braignir had told me of their mistrust of outsiders and general solitude- my sarcastic response was of the warmth and geniality of the Greenwood and how we would not feel out of place. We chuckled about it then, but no one was chuckling now.  
"Give your horses to Eirik here, and follow me." Signild gestured to a slender young boy of about twelve, his blonde hair ruffling in the wind. He smiled at us as he took our reins and led all our horses away. We hiked up a particularly steep hill, and when we got to the top we realized there were no homes here, only a large wooden building with runes carved all over it. Signild led us in to a great hall, full of tables, and at the back of the hall was a throne. On it sat a large heavyset bearded man with long dark hair, piercingly dark eyes, and as we got closer it seemed he had an even darker disposition. He silently regarded all fourteen of us as we trailed in behind Signild, and she led us straight to him. He looked as though he was considering eating us.  
"Father," she said, and saluted him in much the same way the elves saluted each other. He returned the salute, but did not get up. He was dressed in a silver chest plate, thick furs, and well-made leather boots. He looked to be a little past middle age, but his eyes danced with an ageless dark fire. "May I present Cael of Greenwood, and Braignir, captain of the Woodland Army. This is my father, Grimbeorn, leader of the Beornings."  
I bowed deeply, and so did my elven companions, and watched as the massive man slowly stood and took the few steps to face off with me and Braignir. He stood near seven feet, and I fought the urge to cringe.  
"So...you crossed through the goddamn dark of Mirkwood just for some lost memories, eh?" His voice was much like the growl and snarl of an angry bear, but a smile split his wide bearded face. "Less of you than what the king counted. What happened? Orcs? Spiders?"  
Braignir took a deep breath before speaking, the memory still too new and painful. "Both, but the orcs took one of my brothers. We sent him home with two escorts."  
Grimbeorn's eyebrows went up, and he shook his head. "Well my friend, for your loss I am truly sorry. I know how that must've hurt you all. But as you know, the woods are much darker lately. Goddamn Necromancer. Bastard Sauron." He spat on the floor, and I stifled a laugh watching my companions cringe with disgust. "You took a big risk coming all the way here." He looked down and locked eyes with me. "So you're the one causing all this trouble, eh?"  
"Me? No!" I coughed nervously, and I watched a little smile form under his beard. "Well...yes. I suppose you're right." I sighed fast and hard. "Thank you, for trying to help me-"  
His hand in the air halted me. "Hold on now. I never said I would help you. You're going to help yourself. You're going to learn our ways, live like we do. And Signild over here, my beautiful savage she-bear! She's going to push you around until you fight back."  
I took in a sharp breath as I looked at Signild, not missing her vicious toothy smile. "Wait-"  
"No, no. It's my way here, or you can just march off with your elf friends, all the long way back to your king, and you can explain to him about your unwillingness to do the work required of you. I know King Thranduil, and I know he hates failure. But it's your choice."  
Braignir was biting his tongue so hard by now, I could see his face flush with the effort of trying to restrain himself. I looked up into the dark hazel eyes of Grimbeorn and realized I was well and truly damned.  
"My apologies. I would rather fall off a cliff and die than to run with my tail between my legs back to the king's halls in shame. Thank you, my lord."  
To that he guffawed loudly. "A lord I am not! That's precious. You can call me by my name. There is no title that does me any justice, my dear." His large hand came down on my shoulder and I almost fell from the force of it- he just laughed loudly again, and already I felt like an idiot child. "You are welcome to stay as long as you like, Braignir. I know I said one night, but! You must rest! Eat! Drink! When you are ready to return, I will be happy to give you fresh horses."  
Braignir stiffened. "Thank you for your most kind offer, Grimbeorn. But we will take our horses with us when we go, save the ones for the company staying along-"  
"Yes, how many is that again?"  
"Four, plus Cael of course."  
"Yes, of course Cael! Well, it just so happens we lost one of our grandmothers here lately, rest her old soul. She had a home nearby the guard's quarters. We'll have to set up a few cots, but..." Grimbeorn looked the elves over. "You're all so goddamn tall. Might need two cots each!" He laughed softly to himself. "Signild!"  
"Yes father?"  
"Take our guests to their quarters. Long journey and all that. Tomorrow, we will work. Tonight, we feast!"   
*********************************  
"My lord! You cannot mean to go through with this!" Ryvvik followed Thranduil as he strode from his chambers to the throne room.  
"I will do what is necessary, Ryvvik. I will not be gone long. You will hold the throne as you have done for me before-"  
"I cannot stay behind, my lord! You need me out there!" Ryvvik scrambled backwards as Thranduil suddenly turned and started advancing on him at the same speed he had already been moving at, which was lightening fast. "Please, my king, the woods have darkened considerably as of late. You haven't been on a journey in long while, you haven't seen what it's like out there. You cannot risk going alone-"  
Thranduil stopped until he was almost nose to nose with Ryvvik. His eyes were terrifyingly white with power. "You are needed here, commander, as there is none other I would trust in my stead. Worrying about me in the woods is unnecessary. Have you forgotten who I am?"  
Ryvvik was speechless, impotent in the face of such force. "N-no, my lord. Forgive me." He hung his head.  
Thranduil almost smiled. "There is nothing to forgive, Ryvvik. You are truly my best, my most trusted. But if it concerns you so, I will take Etayrion and Dagor with me. We will ride until we arrive. I have no plans to stop but to rest the horses." He backed off now, and his terrible aura somewhat subsiding. "You have nothing to fear."  
Ryvvik looked up at his king, relieved. "Thank you. I will do my best to serve in your absence."  
"That is exactly what I expect, commander. I leave within the hour."  
Ryvvik nodded and watched Thranduil stride away, heading for the armory. He was frazzled and upset, but he knew he had to do what the king wanted. It was just too sudden and overwhelming, and the king was so damn stubborn.  
Thranduil found Etayrion and Dagor in the armory, and he informed them both of what was to happen. They hid their collective shock and promised the king they would be ready to leave as soon as possible, and with that Thranduil was gone again, heading to the stables to have three horses readied. It was going to be a rough ride, and he wanted to select the animals personally.  
Dagor made sure the kitchen packed them dried meat, waybread, water, and wine skins for the journey, while Etayrion readied armor, swords and arrows. Ryvvik, meanwhile, paced the throne chamber, trying not to panic.  
True to his word, Thranduil say upon his ebony charger, suited in his armor, with one caveat per Ryvvik- he also wore a helmet of silver, something he had not done since his younger warrior years. He was not fond of it in the slightest, but Ryvvik begged him to don it. Etayrion and Dagor were in full armor as well, and Etayrion bore a flag with the symbol of the Woodland Realm, in the hopes of staving off any possible attack from the Beornings.  
"There is a storm coming in, my lord. Darkness comes quickly, and the enemy will use it to stalk you." Ryvvik stood outside with the cavalry, looking up at the clouding sky. "Please take care."  
Thranduil nodded, his eyes glowing periwinkle under the helmet. "I will, Ryvvik. But these are my woods, and I will not be intimidated." With a cry and snap of the reins, the king took off, and his companions followed. Ryvvik watched until he couldn't see them any longer, and then he went back inside. He could only hope the king would be back within the month. Winter would set in quickly, and the early snows could sometimes be the worst.  
********************************************  
I sat with my ellon guard at a large table in the great hall of Grimbeorn. There was music, ale, food, and much laughter. I hoped someone would recognize me and approach the table, but I felt like I was waiting too long for that to be a reality. It should have happened by now, as the entire village packed into the hall to enjoy the feast, and everyone stopped to stare at me at some point.   
"Are you enjoying this?" Signild knocked into Thannor as she sat down beside him. She was as tall as the elves, strong-built and muscular, but still a very curvaceous woman. A beautiful, savage warrior, and she terrified me. "All this for you." She waved her hand at me, and regarded me with derision. "We will have some fun together, you and me. At first light we will go for a hike. Be ready."  
We were interrupted by a loud booming voice singing out loud, and I looked to my left to see one of the guard standing on a chair, ale in hand, belting out in song:  
"Widely is flung, warning of slaughter,  
the weaver’s-beam’s-web, tis wet with blood;  
is spread now, grey the spear before,  
the woof-of-the-warriors which valkyries fill  
with the red warp of Beorn's banesman!  
This web woven and wound of entrails,  
and heavy weighted with heads of slain;  
are blood-bespattered spears the treadles,  
iron-bound the beams, the battens and arrows:  
Let us weave with our swords this web of victory!  
Go we to weave with swords brandished:  
shields will be shattered, shafts will be splintered,  
will the hound-of-helmets the hauberks bite!  
Wind we, wind we the-web-of-darts,  
and follow the atheling after to war!  
We will behold shields hewn and bloody  
where have we have guarded the thane.  
Wind we, wind we such web-of-darts  
as the young war-worker waged afore-time!  
Forth shall we fare where the fray is thickest,  
where friends and fellows ’gainst foemen battle!  
Wind we, wind we the web-of-darts,  
where float the flags of unflinching men!  
Let not the liege’s life be taken:  
valkyries award the spoils of battle!  
Now the web is woven, and weapons reddened—  
in all lands will be heard the heroes’ fall.  
Start we swiftly with steeds unsaddled—  
hence to battle with brandished swords!"  
The entire hall, all having joined in, cheered raucously, so loudly I found myself fighting the urge to cover my ears. Braignir leaned in to me and had to shout into my ear to be heard.  
"Charming!"   
I laughed out loud, squeezing his arm, and despite his irritation, he had to laugh too.  
"You're not drinking enough!" The singing guard was beside us, his bearded face red with drink and excitement. He was built like the Carrock itself, wide, tall, and imposing, with dirty blonde hair half braided and windblown, and eyes blue as the sky. "Are you elf warriors or a bunch of housemaids?" He was smiling beatifically, but my companions did not enjoy his sense of humor.  
"I have no desire to piss myself in a drunken haze, thank you. I therefore respectfully decline." Braignir looked up at the guard with more than a hint of repugnance, and the guard staggered back.  
"Suit yourself! Pompous elf." He started to stagger away, and suddenly Calenor was on his feet.  
"Oh ho! Did I hear you slander my kin, you churlish skinchanger?"  
The guard had his hand on the pommel of his sword, and then Braignir stood. The entire room fell silent.  
"Slander you say?"  
Braignir raised his hand to stop Calenor from talking, but he was completely ignored. "I believe you first referred to us as, housemaids? And then...pompous? Really, have you not heard of us, we elves of the Woodland Realm?"  
The guard was drunk and confused as he watched Calenor lift two mugs of ale and quickly drain both of them. Braignir rolled his eyes and shook his head, and Grimbeorn watched from a distance with a knowing grin.  
"Can you best me, I ask you? Dare you even try?" Calenor grinned , his thick blonde hair and bright blue eyes shining in the torchlight. The guard stood silent for a moment, and the entire hall drew in a deep breath, and then finally the guard roared with laughter. The hall erupted in laughter with him, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  
"Absolutely absurd," Braignir grumbled. "He's far too reckless. We almost went to war just now!"  
Calenor and the guard, whose name was Gunvor, began a drinking competition, which was foolhardy on the part of the skinchanger- Calenor was known in the army as the carousing bacchant, and he could outdrink any ten elves. Thus began the longest night of all nights, but I was not going to be a part of it. I had my fill of revelry, and I gave a wave to Grimbeorn and a nod to Signild, who was terrorizing Thannor and making his pale cheeks flush. I caught her attention despite her preoccupation.  
"Goodnight. Thank you for the hearty welcome." As I stood I patted Thannor's shoulder, his dark hair silky smooth against my skin. "Good luck, my friend. I dhû hen and!" {You're in for a long night!"}  
Thannor furrowed his brow at me. "Ci athe nad!" {Thanks for nothing!}  
Braignir shook his head at us, disapproving, and Signild narrowed her eyes at me. I had the funny feeling she understood what I had said. She stabbed the wooden table with her fork and left it stuck there, glaring at me.  
"Tomorrow. First light. We meet here."  
I nodded and quickly made my way outside. I had to get out of there- total sensory overload after a long half month in the woods. The cool night air dried the sweat on my brow, and I shivered from the sudden temperature change. I stood still and admired the view of the river valley- the foothills of the Misty Mountains were a perfect place to moongaze. It truly was a beautiful sight. The wind gusted suddenly, and I felt a kind of dizziness overtaking me that I attributed to the ale and food...but it didn't feel right. I closed my eyes and felt I was spinning out into the vault of stars above me.  
'Muin nin...' His voice was the wind, and it rushed through me, slowing as it crossed the barrier of my skin, where it became a wild wave, coloring my vision with a lavender glow. My entire body tingled, though I felt as if I was not present in it any longer. 'Cael...where are you...'  
Slowly I opened my eyes, and I was in the forest again. Moonlight dappled through the leaves, and the shadows moved. In my peripheral vision I saw the tall figure emerge from beside a tree, as if it had been the tree itself, yet before me stood the king in all his grace and glory, his tunic and leggings dark as oak, his hair white as birch bark, and his eyes penetrant and ice blue. No circlet, no boots. Just him. I started to smile, but his solemn expression stopped me cold. He said nothing, only slowly made his way toward me. I held my hands out to him, and he took them in his, his eyes searching mine, for what I couldn't guess.  
"My lord..."  
"No." His one word was unspoken- his lips hadn't moved. I had heard it in the echoes of my mind.  
"Thranduil."  
"Yes." I watched his perfect mouth say it, and felt relieved. "Are you well? Are you safe?"  
Thinking about Duvaindir, I looked away. My eyes welled with tears, and Thranduil had his hands on my face, forcing me to look up.  
"Tell me."  
I choked back a sob looking into his eyes, and I covered his hands with mine, our skin wetting with my tears as they fell. "Duvaindir..."  
His eyes squeezed shut, and he exhaled heavily. "No..." His eyes flew open again and he pinned them on me. Inwardly I squirmed, already feeling responsible, but I spoke anyway.  
"We ran into orcs on the last day in the woods. A fallen orc thrust his sword upwards as Duvaindir passed, and..." I fell into Thranduil's arms, fighting sobs, and he crushed me to him. "We sent him home with Daeben and Maethon. I am so sorry..." His hair shrouded around me and I could hear his heart drumming in his wide powerful chest as I rested my head there. His intoxicating scent made me even dizzier, pine and frost, spice and earth, and when he spoke I was powerfully galvanized.  
"The realm will weep for Etayrion's nephew. He will have the finest burial, and I will name a day for him in honor." Thranduil kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair. "It is a terrible tragedy."  
"I had no idea he was family to Etayrion. My heart breaks for his family...I wish I could have stopped it-"  
"No, muin nin. You will not blame yourself for his death." He pulled back to wipe the tears from my face. "You will stop this at once, do you understand? He was a brave and skillful warrior, and it is the risk taken to protect the realm." But even Thranduil's eyes looked misty as I gazed up at him, though no tears spilled. "How long has it been since this occurred?"  
"Just a couple days now. It should be about two weeks before they reach the Woodland Realm."  
"Then I will run right into them, as it happens."  
"Run right into them? What do you mean?" A stone was sinking in my stomach as the reality of what he was saying began dawning on me.  
Thranduil smiled lazily at me, and my heart caught in my throat. "I am en route to the Carrock, muin nin. I have special business there. I only just left, and I should arrive within the next ten days."  
"But...why? I don't understand-"  
He held his hand up, silencing me. "I will reveal all when I arrive. I cannot stay but a few days at most. You will make room for me in your quarters, yes?" I blushed furiously, watching his pupils dilate and his lips part. His voice was husky now, a throaty whisper that made me weak. "I ride even now, closer to you as every moment passes, and I will be most keen to judiciously remove any sadness you are feeling, steadily and repeatedly." His fingers slowly ghosted over the front of my tunic, and my nipples immediately hardened under his touch. A jolt of electricity raced down into my hips, lighting a ground fire that quickly spread. My breath caught in my throat as I stared up at him, his soft glow turning into a brightening candle, illuminating his eyes and the angles of his face.  
"Kiss me," I whispered, and the king's eyes narrowed with a sly smile.  
"Are you trying to throw me from my horse?"  
I immediately felt horrified. "No!"  
"Should I get too carried away it could spell disaster for me, my little gem. Will you save it until we are alone again?"  
"Yes, yes of course." I stole a small kiss anyway, and buried myself against the warmth of his body. "Hurry, please."  
"I will be there to join you soon, muin nin. Until then, work hard. Learn everything you can, so you can come home. In the meantime, save room for me in your bed." He pulled back to kiss me, suddenly and passionately, his mouth open and hungry against mine, his fingers digging into my upper arms as he drew me closer, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth.  
"Cael. Cael!!!"  
I snapped out of the reverie as Braignir stood in front of me, shaking me. "Wha-Braignir, what's wrong?"  
"You were just standing there, staring into space. I thought...maybe something bad was happening-"  
"No, no. I was just lost in thought. I'm sorry to have worried you."  
He stood still, inspecting me, watching my face. "Are you certain you are well?"  
"Yes, yes. Thank you. Are you headed to sleep too?"  
Braignir shook his head. "I have first watch tonight. So will you please retire to your quarters, so I know you are well and safe?"  
"Of course. I'm already leaving. Goodnight, Braignir."  
I headed to the little home the Beornings had graciously allowed me to use during my stay, and kicked off my shoes to fall into bed. Tomorrow I was to go on a hike with scary Signild, and as tired as I was I couldn't keep myself awake with worry over it. I could only hope to learn a thing or two, and at the very least survive.


	12. Chimera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/6hoyDQ3LeTU

Dawn. The fire had long since gone out, and it was freezing. I felt like staying under the heavy blankets, but I did not want to invite Signild's ire, so I found myself on my feet. I quickly dressed, making sure to wear clothes that would move with me but would keep me warm as well, and I strapped my sword scabbard to my back instead of slinging it around my hip, so it wouldn't get caught on anything as we hiked the along Misty Mountains. I grabbed a water skin and some waybread for the journey.  
I opened the door to head to the great hall, and found Signild standing outside. She was head-to-toe in fur, steel, and leather, and her hair was braided back. She had her bow and arrow as well as a shortsword on her back, and daggers fasted to her thighs. She stood in an edge of shadow, fearsome and beautiful. I wondered if this was the beginning of the end for me.  
"You are late." She was stoic and unsmiling as I approached.  
"I am sorry, Signild-"  
"Save it. We go." She took off, and I immediately was struggling to keep up with her. We were completely out of the village within an hour, and as our hike became more vertical, the village looked like a miniature of itself. I was breathless and sweating under my layers- Signild showed no mercy and never slowed, and so I had to fight through the cramping pain of my old spider bite and fight to keep up, lest I fall behind and potentially enrage her.  
We hiked through the foothills, and were faced by the sheer rock walls of the mountains. Signild turned and hiked along it, and I was relieved as much of it was on a downgrade. I was winded and pouring sweat, but at least now I could keep up with her, and really enjoy the scenery. I could understand why people had settled here- the mountains gave a feeling of safety, the green rolling hills of the river valley a sense of peace, and the mighty Anduin, the life giver, carved through the dale in a long shimmering snake.  
"Hey! Snap out of it. We're taking the northern pass in. Come on." Signild was far ahead of me. I must have slowed as I admired my view, and now she was rounding onto a narrow path that led to a wide crevasse into the mountain. I jogged to catch up with her, and was awed by the sight- the mountain seemed to split into two, and a road was hewn into the stone. I got dizzy as I peered upwards, but I could not see through the dense mist. Signild was marching far and fast, and I stayed a little behind her. After a while we came through the first leg of the pass, and before us stretched a wide lake in a great basin, ice blue like the eyes of my king, surrounded by trees and boulders. A small group of deer had gathered at the edge opposite of us, and a large buck with impressive antlers raised its head to watch us as we climbed down towards the water.  
"Do you see him, Cael?" Signild slowed her descent. "He is old. He has been close to our village for years, and we have hunted him for many winters. He is lucky today I have other matters to attend to."  
"He is massive."  
"Yes, he would feed and clothe many." Signild crouched at the grassy bank of the lake to refill her water skin. I could not take my eyes off the deer. "You are just in time for our great festival."  
"Yeah?" I watched as the buck slowly walked off into the grove of trees to the north of us, taking his litany of does and fawns with him.  
"Yes. It is the coming of winter. We have two weeks of festivities, every day is a day to honor the Ainur, each their own day." She stood, shaking the water from her hands. "I am the one in charge of much of it, and you will help me."  
I stood silent, regarding her. What could I say? I was property of the Beornings now. I had to live like them, and that meant learning everything I could. Signild stared back at me, as if she were trying to put me together, and she closed the distance between us to stare down at me now.  
"You cannot remember anything of your past?"  
"Only fleeting memories. Not good ones. Screaming, running, fire, death. Something hunting me. A great flaming eye. Spiders and orcs trying to kill me, capture me. Awful things." I shuddered, and she nodded.  
"Well, Cael of Mirkwood. You have nothing to fear now." She put her hand on my shoulder and I tried not to flinch. "You are safe with me. I will destroy anyone and anything that attempts to capture or kill you."  
I looked into her bright hazel eyes. Her gesture could be considered tender, as fierce as she was. "Thank you, Signild. I appreciate you and your kin."  
"As well you should. We do not take kindly to strangers. But if it is true that you are a skinchanger...then you are no stranger to us. First, we must tap your power. Come, we have more to climb."  
And we were off again, past the basin and up into another crevasse, this path wooded with fruit trees, and a noisy creek ran through it down into the basin lake.  
"Oromë carved this pass long ago for the elves, but the dwarves planted these trees, and other food sources as well, to assist in long journeys." She tossed me a juicy red apple. "Try it."  
As we hiked upwards, I crunched happily on my apple, and it was good. Higher and higher up we climbed, and the narrow path through the crevasse widened, as did the creek. We neared a summit of sorts, and the path turned sharply into a carved road along the side of a mountain. There was ice on the greenery, and my breath misted in puffs of white as I struggled to keep up with Signild. The road was treacherous, and it seemed awfully small as I looked over the side- one wrong move and I would tumble down the mountain into a foggy ravine.  
"Don't panic. It is safe." Signild turned her head to smile at me, seeming to smell my fear. We kept hiking along, and Signild started to sing in a husky lilting voice.  
"Land of bear and land of eagle, land that gave us birth and blessing, land that called us ever homewards- we will go home across the mountains...we will go home, we will go home, we will go home across the mountains...  
Land of freedom land of heroes, land that gave us hope and memories, hear our singing hear our longing- we will go home across the mountains...we will go home, we will go home, we will go home across the mountains....  
Land of sun and land of moonlight, land that gave us joy and sorrow, land that gave us love and laughter- we will go home across the mountains...we will go home, we will go home, we will go home across the mountains...  
When the land is there before us, we have gone home across the mountains- we will go home, we will go home, we will go home across the mountains..."  
I smiled at the simple melody and words, and I recognized the longing. It was beautiful.  
"Did you like that?" Signild looked back with another smile. We were at a flat wide plain between two peaks. Mountains still loomed before us, but there was a place to make camp here, and the creek was now a wide stream flowing downwards, fresh and cold.   
"Yes, very much."   
"We will stop and eat here. There is much to see around that side-" she pointed to a cave opening on the edge of a cliff. My eyes widened in terror. "Don't worry, we won't delve into the cave today. Might be we run into some nastiness in there. No time for any of that."  
Signild found a fallen tree that had been carved into a bench, and we sat on it as she dug in her pack, taking out some dried meat and biscuits. She gave me half, and we ate together in silence. Finally she stood, and started heading towards the cliff. I followed slowly behind.  
"You remember I told you that you have nothing to fear from me, yes?"  
"Y-yes."  
She stopped, waiting for me to catch up to her. Her eyes danced with mischief, and I didn't like it one bit.  
"Good."  
We were on the edge of the cliff now, and I realized it was a small drop-off into a large pond. It was still a long way to fall, at least 40 feet.  
"We used to fish off the edge here when I was small. There are huge fish in that little pond that fight upstream to mate here. But it is too late in the seasons for that." Suddenly she grabbed me by my shoulders and threw me over the edge, and I screamed as I clawed for her to no avail. I felt something in me shifting as I fell, a shadow growing and threatening to take over, and it was hard to fight as time slowed down. A deep growling howl ripped from my chest as I neared the water. It didn't sound like it came from me at all, but I was prickling with heat all over my body as the shadow loomed large within me. Then I hit the water, and it was freezing. I dove down until I touched something with my feet, not sure if it had been the bottom or something else, but I pushed myself off it anyway and shot towards the surface. Signild was looking down at me, holding her sides with laughter. I sputtered with rage, looking for a way out of the water. The edges of the pond were stony and slimy, but I dragged myself out anyway.   
"How the hell am I getting out of here, Signild?!?"  
"Oh calm down, little wolfling. I have rope." She disappeared from my line of sight and I could hear her digging in her pack. A long gray rope came tumbling down, and I immediately grabbed it. There was no other way out. The rope didn't look like much, but it was silky to the touch, and as I climbed up it held my weight without showing any sign of stress. Signild pulled me as I inched my way up, and I was back on the surface with her with little effort.  
"Elven rope. A gift from Rivendell long ago." I watched as she gathered the rope in a neat circle and stuffed it back into her pack. "Are you alright?"  
"What kind of stupid question is that? I'm freezing. Why did you do that?" I already had figured it out, but I wanted her to say it.  
"I was trying to force you to change. I don't think you fell long enough, or you were fighting it."  
"I was a little scared of dying, Signild!" I was drenched, and it was icy cold as wind sheared down the mountain pass from the impossibly high peaks. She took off her large fur and wrapped it around me. She looked disappointed.  
"This is one of the ways we initiate. There are others, but...I didn't want to try them. Not yet, anyway."  
"What other ways?" My jaw was locked with the shivers.  
"We take a needle with ink to the skin and draw ancient symbols. Sometimes the pain causes a reaction. Also the blood hunt could work."  
"The what?"  
"You are sent into the woods covered in blood while the others chase you. It worked for me. I was fifteen when my father made me run in the night with half the village chasing me. I had not changed yet, not one time. I was a late bloomer. The fear woke my bear, and I was the one chasing them at the end."  
I shook my head. "This is madness. I cannot do that."  
Signild gave me a long look, and it almost seemed sympathetic. "But you will. This was just the beginning, Cael. You will learn to change at will, and you will learn to control it. It very nearly happened there, did you not hear your own howl?"  
I was quiet as I stared at my sopping wet boots. "Yes."  
She smiled. "It won't be long now. I will bet my favorite knife that you will be shifting by the end of the festival." She clapped her hand on my shoulder. "Three weeks, Cael. You can do it."  
I tried to smile, and noticed my canine teeth were a little longer than normal...or maybe it was my imagination. But Signild watched me bare my teeth and she grinned, so I suppose it was real.  
It was a long hike down, and I couldn't wait to get in front of a fire. The sun was starting to go down, and I found myself scrambling down, faster even than Signild herself, who laughed jovially behind me.  
Braignir was waiting by the great hall as we stumbled out of the foothills. He was in full armor, and had a horse at his side. He looked concerned, his face dark with unspoken anger.  
"You said you would be back by now." He took steps towards Signild, who had no intention of backing down. "You are very, very late." His emphasis on the last word was gruff with his agitation. She just chuckled.  
"Oh calm yourself, captain. We are back, and she is unharmed, as promised."  
Braignir looked me over, and noticed I was damp. "Are you well, Cael? You are not hurt in any way?"  
I bit my tongue. I couldn't tell him that Signild had thrown me off a 40 foot cliff, though I knew he could tell I was wet and shivering with cold.  
"No, I am well, Braignir. I have need of a fire, however."  
"The guard has the hall for our last night here. We are making supper, and there is wine." He gestured toward the door, but I shook my head.  
"I have to change, then I will join you."  
Signild waved at me as she started off. "Goodnight, Cael. Rest well, for there is much to do tomorrow." She shot Braignir a dirty look and was gone. He sighed heavily, shaking his head.  
"I do not like it here, Cael. Not one bit. I do not feel safe leaving you here, and it is by no means a reflection on you or my army. These are a wild people, and I do not know them, or trust them."  
"Yes, Braignir, you are right about that. They are very different from the elves. But try and relax. The king knows these people better than we. He would not have sent me here if he thought I was going to be harmed in any way." At least I hoped not. Braignir nodded, his blonde hair lighting up like a halo as the sun went down behind him.  
"Go change your clothes, Cael, and then come and join us. I am taking my company, minus yours, and we will leave at first light."  
I hurried to my cottage and got into some dry clothes. I also found the liniment Maith had packed me- I needed to rub my leg with it, as it was throbbing painfully from my day in the mountains. I hoped it wouldn't be too sore the next day- I was sure Signild was planning a full day of frights for me, and I needed to be ready.  
******************************************************  
The air was cold as I breathed it in deep. I ran across the grass at top speed, letting the wind flatten my fur down, and I could hear and smell the river as I neared it. Everything in the moonlight glowed in sharp blacks, whites, and grays, and I could smell the water on the rocks before I could see it- the bridge was almost invisible to me until I could see it glinting in a silver slip across the river. I carefully made my way across it and bounded across the dale towards Mirkwood. I could hear a distant call from behind me, and I thought I could see a figure running on the other side of the river, but I charged into the woods anyway. It was darker than I remembered- did I remember? I could smell the fell things that populated the trees, their meals tied in silk high above me, struggling to free themselves. I was on the path back to him, back to my lord. I wanted to meet him on the path, find him and protect him from the things I knew lay in wait for him.  
The path led me to the wide open plain I had crossed with the elves days earlier, and the grass still smelled of ash and charred flesh from the pile of orcs we had burned there. I stopped, looked up, and saw mother moon- a pale and glowing orb, pendulous in the black sky- I raised my head and let it rip through me...the howl began as a yipping bark and then it swelled inside me until it became a long, deep and mournful howl that rattled my bones, making my fur stand on end. I could see him now, he had heard me, and he lashed his horse faster towards me. His armor was glinting, steel and silver, and even his horse was armored. Others were with them, but I couldn't see them, just heard them as they spoke in breathy whispers to themselves.   
"Cael, where are you?" His voice was one of my favorite things, and in my head it sounded like the joy I felt when I was in his arms. I could not answer, not now, not yet. I tore across the grassy field, skirting the woods, and then drove into them again. I leaped over dead trees, away from the noise I heard in the trees- they were watching me, waiting to strike. I would tear them apart in my teeth, shred them with my claws. I was a streak of lightning, I was the racing shadow, I was the night itself.  
"You are not safe out here. You must return at once!" He was angry at me. I slowed, only for a moment, and then I was rushing headlong towards him. I could see the orcs now, I could smell them. The demons were close, and they were ready to strike my king. He knew it too, he was charging them, and the sound of steel on steel clattered in my brain, jarring the connection between us. I was losing him. I could barely hear him now, and it made me run faster. Miles I had to cross, and I knew I would be too late.  
I heard something behind me, and I could smell the foul insects as they advanced- the stench of mold and blood and death filled my nose. A growl rose in my throat, but I would not stop running. I needed to get to my lord, quickly, even if it took me all night. But when I heard a hiss in my ear, I knew I was in trouble. I immediately charged towards the spider, and found it running beside me. I attacked it, and we tumbled on the forest floor, its gaping maw snapping for my leg, my neck, anything, but I tore into its sensitive thorax and ripped it in two. The foul black blood was in my mouth, and I tried to spit it out, but there was another. And another. I was no loner concerned about the taste in my mouth as I fought for my life, keeping far from the mouth and the poisonous barb at the backside of the vicious insects. I bit down and tore, freeing myself from the tangle of arachnids, in the end leaving a pile of damaged bodies twitching and trying to get at me. I continued to run. I could not see or hear him, but I knew where I was going.  
The moon lit the forest just enough for me to see clearly, and I ran and ran. The revolting blood of the spiders was in my belly, and I found myself stopping to retch it out. I was near a small river, but it smelled like death too. I would have to keep going until I found some clean water to drink. I howled again, loud and long, and I knew I was closer now. I could hear the orcs- there was a large gathering nearby, a war party perhaps. I could smell their overpowering abominable stink. The orcs heard my howl and were afraid, I could smell that too. As soon as I was upon them I went around their camp, so they could not find me- I could not risk that. I would not go back there, not ever.  
It was another mile or so before I found him- he was off his horse, dragging the dead orcs off the path he was on, and the other two elves were doing the same. He looked shocked as he watched me come out of the woods and onto the path, his hair and armor resplendent in the moonlight, his eyes ablaze as he stared at me.  
"Cael..." He reached out for me, and I collapsed, exhausted. I could vaguely sense being picked up, barely hear his rushed words in Sindarin. He was stroking me comfortingly, but it could not ease my nausea and exhaustion. "You could have killed yourself running...your paws are bleeding. Ah muin nin...what have you done to yourself..."  
The rest was a blur, but when I fully awoke I was in the king's arms. His armor was off, and I was no longer an animal. We were in a deep pool of water, and though the water was cold, I was burning up from the contact of the king's bare skin against mine. A fire burned nearby, and there were tents set up around it. I looked up and around, and realized we were in a cave.  
"You changed right here, in my arms, Cael." His voice, deep and powerful, echoed through my mind. I realized he was not actually speaking. I looked up into his eyes, and was in awe- iris and pupil both disarmingly white, seemingly unseeing. The power coursing through him was in me as well, and we were as one in the water. "Why did you run all the way here, knowing I was coming to you?"  
I tried to think and talk at the same time, just in my mind. "I woke up running. I had to get to you. There is a war party of orcs up ahead. You would have run right into them-"  
His hands were tight on my upper arms. "We killed their scouts. Did any of them see you?"  
"No. I went around them."  
"But you had company, did you not?" I watched as the blue of his irises surfaced through the caul of white. Slowly his eyes returned to normal, and I felt the disconnect. "You battled hellspawn creatures. You were sick from swallowing their blood." He spoke outside our minds now, and his voice echoed through the cave.  
"Yes." I dropped my head onto his chest. "I am so glad I found you."  
Thranduil wrapped me in his arms, and together we glowed with shared energy. It felt warm and breezy around us, and I was at peace. I kissed the bare smooth skin of his chest, and then drew back to look up at him once more. He was angelic, his expression one of contented joy as he shone and gleamed there in my arms. I stood on my tiptoes, my breasts sliding against his skin, and he lowered his head to kiss me, softly, sweetly- but I drew out his tongue, pushing his nectarous mouth open to taste him, and his groan was even more delicious than his lips. His wide hands lifted me up by my bottom, and then he was gently guiding me down onto the girdle of his hips, his cock filling me, burning as it stretched me wide apart- I threw my head back and stifled a cry, and his mouth was on my throat, devouring my flesh. He rocked into me hard and deep, the water slowing his movements just enough, and he was dragging in and out of me, causing me to dig my nails into him as the orgasm took hold of me right away- the rush of power between us intensified every sensation, and I had to pull myself up and bury my face in his neck as I lost control- he was like a tree I had climbed, hard as stone, strong and sturdy, and I was like jelly in his arms as I went blind, my nose full of his scent as it radiated out of him, his thick silky hair in my mouth like a gag, and I felt the scream building in my belly as he thrusted harder, his hands on my ass to hold me steady. I held onto him as tightly as I could through the wracking spasms that sent fireworks through my brain- I could barely hear his gruff moan as he drove into me harder and faster than he ever had before, and I thought I was going to tear in two. He was crushing my ribs with the incredible strength of his vice-like grip around me, and I helplessly gasped for air as he keened loudly and came hard inside me, his every spasm another cry I stifled as he spilled intense energy into me, his body weakening and lowering into the water as it finished washing through him. His arms softened around me as he fought for air, and I slid down his body and back into the water, delirious from the experience, the power, the very friction of our bodies.   
"Thranduil," I muttered, rubbing my face against his chest, kissing as I did so, and my hands were all over him, rubbing his back in a massaging motion. He groaned softly with the sensation, and I absently wondered what it would be like to completely rub him down, from head to toe. I would have to find out.  
"Yes, my love..." He was lifting me again, and we were out of the water and through the heavy cloth of his tent. It couldn't have been a better time as I heard the approaching noise of the other elves in the king's company- I immediately recognized Etayrion's voice, and I smiled as Thranduil laid me down on his pallet. He half-fell on top of me, and we both laughed softly as he lazily kissed me, his hand on my breast, teasing the nipple and gently squeezing the mound of flesh, making me breathe a little faster all over again. I drew him down to me, his hair half wet and dripping all over me, and before I knew it his naked muscular frame was between my arms and legs again, and our kiss was deep and passionate. The scent of cinnamon and flowers wafted off his skin, and I was besotted.  
"My lord..." Dagor was outside the tent. Thranduil raised his head, and I traced the angles of his profile with soft fingertips. "We scouted a war party two miles ahead of us. I will take first watch."  
"Very good, thank you, Dagor." He looked back down at me, and I stared at his luminous face, my fingertips smoothing his brow, running down his cheeks, to his generous lips. "I want you again," he whispered, and lowered down to kiss me softly. "I am going to work you hard, and send you into a deep sleep, from which there will be no skinchanging or running off. Do you think you can handle it?" His eyes were glowing like the clouds before a snowstorm. My breath was caught in my throat, but I seethed with want for him, a deep hunger that could never be sated.  
"Can you?" I locked my hands at the base of his neck and rocked upwards, successfully flipping him. He laughed out loud, a deep throaty chortle, and I sat astride him, taking his hands to my breasts. He held and squeezed them, and his expression changed quickly from joy to wrathful lust.  
"Do your worst," he said with a snarky tone, "or at the very least, you can try."


	13. Caesura

Thranduil was as still as stone, his chest heaving was his only movement. I was laying alongside him, using my mouth and hands in tight unison together on him. Outside the tent, Etayrion and Dagor paced and talked, and I had the king at a disadvantage- he struggled hard to keep quiet, even as he gasped softly for air, or bit down on his bottom lip to squelch a moan. I slipped over his left leg to fit in between them, and decided to explore a little, test his limits. My hand never stopped stroking the length of him as my mouth traveled down, around and across his balls, sucking them into my mouth one at a time. Thranduil's hand was on mine, and we stroked him together, his mouth open and gasping and his eyes squeezed shut. I took my time here, licking and sucking, and then I skirted downwards to the tiny nethermouth there- it only took a few seconds of exploring licks for him to clamp his hand down on my shoulder and pull me up. His eyes were glowering, his cheeks pink, his long hair mussed as he sat up to meet me.  
"You touch me as no one ever has. I could kill you for doing that." His voice was a breathy growl, and for a moment I felt terror looking at the ancient and immortal being before me. I had pushed him too far, but I still wasn't sorry. I stared back at him in defiance, and his grip on my shoulder loosened. The corner of his mouth twitched, and I was almost sure I saw a smile starting to form. One sudden motion and I was trapped beneath his wide heavy frame. His hair fell around us, and I broke from his stare to attack his neck with kisses, my teeth grazing the soft skin of his throat, and I could feel him edging against my sex, teasing the way in. My hands caressed his soft cool skin, and the shadow in me shifted, giving way to an amber tide of carnal desire for him. My legs came up to lock around him, drawing him inside a little more, and he groaned softly in his throat, vibrating my lips as I kissed him there.  
"I won't kill you tonight. Instead, you will be punished." His voice was in my mind, and his wrath echoed in the halls of my thoughts. I couldn't help the gasping cry from escaping my lips as he thrusted deep and full into me, crushing me with his weight. His hand came up and over my mouth as he rode me hard and fast, driving me down into the pallet, and I cried against his palm as my nipples hardened and my lower belly ached and melted within, something like liquid fire pooled and spread throughout me, and my spine thrilled with jolts of heat and cold, my vision blurring with the king's skin a mist of pale and blush in my swirling vision, and the madness washed through me, his cock impaling me over and over as he drove fully into me. Dimly I felt his skin under my nails and his hot breath on my cheek as I spun out and away from him and into the bright vault of the heavens. His name was a smothered cry trapped under his hand, and as I felt the wild waves of color and joy subside, I had the sensation of being everywhere and everything at once.  
"Cael," the king huffed, "you are my everything..."  
I pushed the thick heavy curtains of his flaxen hair away from his face, and beheld his beauty in the muted firelight that burned beyond our tent. He truly was a magnificent, ethereal creature, and as I gazed up at him in wonder, he smiled coyly at me. His body came to rest on mine, and he bore his weight on his elbows. My hands ran up his sides and splayed across his chest, and though we were resting, I clamped down tightly on him as he was still inside me. His expression went from joy to a kind of pain.  
"You are my world, Thranduil. You have given me back my life, and renewed it with blessings and love. There is no way to ever repay you for what you have done."  
"Nevermind the fact that in the beginning I wanted to kill you. Can you ever forgive me that?" His eyes watered but shed no tears, and I clutched at him and rolled him until I was on top, and he smiled as I straddled his hips. His fingers traced the tattoos on my ribs and thigh simultaneously, words I knew but wouldn't dare speak aloud.  
"I was a stranger threatening the security of your realm. You were protecting your kingdom. There is nothing to forgive. However..." I rolled my hips on his, making him shudder. His hands gripped my hips as every muscle in his torso flexed, and his eyes were blue fire as he watched me ride him. "I am so very glad you did not kill me..."  
Thranduil groaned, casting his head back as he writhed beneath me. I tipped forward on him and my hips pistoned faster, the wet slap of our flesh an unmistakable giveaway of the act, and my mouth was on his chest, my teeth grazing his nipples, my tongue laving his skin. He opened his eyes to watch me, his jaw set in a tight vise as he growled low in his throat, and with one hand he stayed my hips so he could thrust up into me with such force I could hardly stop the cry as it escaped my lips. Quickly he flipped me, and drawing my legs up against his shoulders he rolled me into a tight ball, and I was trapped in the cage of his body as he thrusted into me mercilessly. I was bound up against him, my ankles flanking his neck, and I reached up to cup his face, a mask of unbridled ecstasy as it was, shadowed in the half light. His deep thrusts made me gasp in a kind of delicious pain, and I was helpless as another orgasm tore me asunder, sudden and sharp, and I felt as if I were crashing upwards through levels of pleasure, each plateau carrying me higher and higher until I was near hysterics beneath him. Through my slitty eyes I could see it taking him too, and it drove me even higher and faster into delirium. I could feel the rings on his fingers digging into my flesh as he gripped my hips and buttocks to steady me through his unleashed passion, and he pressed his mouth against my ankle to supress a groaning scream as he flooded my insides with his orgasm.  
"Goheno nin..." Thranduil was mumbling incoherently as he released me slowly, and gracefully flopped beside me on the pallet, panting. "Ú-agoren le harn..." {Forgive me...I didn't mean to hurt you...}  
"I would not call what you did to me as harm, and if it was then I would ask you to do it again and again." I took his hand, kissed it, and rested it on my heaving chest. I could feel the wetness everywhere- I had soaked his pallet with my excitement, and I felt embarrassed. Thranduil had one arm over his eyes, and he slid his gaze sideways with a sly smile.  
"Your love juices are copious, little wolf. It is nothing to be ashamed of...I enjoy pleasing you."  
I turned onto my side with a giggle and planted a million kisses all over his face and neck, and he laughed out loud. We were stoned on a cloud of joy, but I knew it was going to come to a very abrupt end. As my brain returned to its rational state, multiple questions flooded my mind- Where were Maethon and Daeben? What business did the king have in the Carrock? How was I going to tell Etayrion about his nephew? How were we going to escape the orcs? And when dawn broke, Braignir would surely discover my absence, if he didn't already know...someone was shouting for me as I ran away from the Carrock, more than likely one of my ellon guards. Panic erupted in me as I thought of them running into the woods after me, and tears welled in my eyes at the many thoughts I had, full of confusion and terror.  
"Cael? What's wrong, muin nin? Are you hurting?" Thranduil was sitting up, carefully and tenderly laying hands on me. "Your mind is a wildfire."  
"Maethon and Daeben...did you run into them?"  
Thranduil shook his head slowly. "No. They may have seen the orcs and skirted them. There is another road to the south, but it will take them twice as long to return home."  
Tears ran out of the corners of my eyes and into my hair as I stifled a sob. "And Etayrion...we have to tell him."  
Thranduil hung his head, and I sat up beside him and wrapped my arms around him. "I am dreading it." He clutched at me, and turned to kiss my cheek. "Do not weep, Cael. I know you are still blaming yourself, and you should not. Our losses remain uncounted and innumerable as of yet. I know war is coming...I can feel it. Somehow the Eldar have not bled enough in this accursed world...and the enemy will not rest until we are all destroyed."  
"Will you tell me your story, Thranduil?" I tried not to shrink away from him as he snapped his head up to burn me with an inscrutable glare. "One day, perhaps?"  
"When you can remember your past, I shall share mine. It is a long and painful memory, only occasionally punctuated with joy. The history of my great race is a wearisome tale to be told, and I do not wish to revisit my chapter in it just yet." The king stared at me for a long time, his eyes a pale shade of sky and shadow, and I could feel the chasm of despair within him, threatening to swallow us both. I braved a stroke of his cheek, and he sighed heavily, the weight of such a subject so obviously on his soul.  
"And of the war party? How can we escape that fate?"  
Thranduil's expression remained unchanged as he regarded me. "You ask the north wind whether the wintered limbs of dormant trees will slow its fury? Can not the sun be blotted out by the black violence of a summer storm? I ask you, Cael. The orcs are but a hangnail, a mild annoyance easily dealt with. You are the reason we stopped, muin nin. You were exhausted and bloody, and I took the time out to restore you." He took my hand and stretched out my palm. "You had run yourself near death, and look...not even a scrape shows now. The unchecked habits of your skinchanging worries me so, Cael." Thranduil shook his head slowly, and I watched in awe as his mussed hair seemed to straighten itself. "We must gain control of it."  
"I am sorry...I wanted to be back in your arms so badly. I can only attribute it to my need for you."  
His gentle smile warmed my heart. "You cannot put yourself in harm's way for me, my beloved. You are most dear to me, and I could not imagine my world without you in it now. You must continue to learn from the Beornings. Learn to let go when you must, and learn to hold back when you must. If I could I would teach you myself, but of changing skins I know naught. The Carrock will guide you."  
I was quiet as I thought of all the things he had said. The warm expanse of his hand caressed my back, and he leaned in to kiss my neck, my cheek, and finally my lips.  
"And you were supposed to be asleep by now. I can see my attempts to temporarily extinguish your fires were in vain." His little half-smile make me giggle again.  
"Oh but they were not, my lord. You are every bit as talented as I'm sure many maidens imagine you are, and more so. But I am of a restless nature, and many things nip at my conscience to trouble me."  
Thranduil's eyes hooded, his cheeks flushing. "I do so enjoy your compliments, muin nin, but I would rather see the fruits of my labor than be indulged with mere flattery. But you must rest, else I will have you again if you do not lay back and close your eyes."  
I laughed softly, pulling him down with me. "You threaten me with more of your attention? How could I do anything else but resist the urge to sleep, if only to have your body against mine..." I took his mouth with mine, briefly sucking his breath away, "...inside of mine..."  
The king groaned as I wrapped my legs around him, and my fingers ran up his back and dove into his hair to lightly scratch at his scalp. He kissed me as the heat rose between us again, and his passion lit hot and bright to match my own. There would be no rest for either of us this night.


	14. Iluve Lle Ier                                         {everything you are}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed a passage from the Ritusamhara by Kalidasa, a beautiful epic poem from 6 A.D.

It was impossible to tell whether dawn had broken, except for the sense that I possessed telling me it was so. The king woke me to take me to the pool of water there in the cave to bathe, as Dagor and Etayrion had left to scout the woods, affording us a little privacy.  
"What shall we do about you, Cael?" Thranduil stood like a statue in the water, his long platinum hair hanging in a wet heavy curtain down his back. Beautiful was too weak a word to describe a heavenly creature such as he.  
"Whatever do you mean?" I smiled as I swam towards him, and as I neared him I could feel the water temperature change from cool to warm around his body.  
"How are we to get you out of here? You have no clothes." His half-smile titillated me.  
I stood up and slipped my arms around his waist, pressing myself to him. "I have no answer to that. But what I do want to know is, what brings you to the Carrock? What is this business you say you have there?"  
Thranduil looked down at me, his expression washing emotionless. "I received a visit from Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond. You do not know them, but they are of the oldest and most powerful Eldar in Middle Earth. In the battle of Dagorlad, where my father and wife fell, I was grievously injured. Elrond and Galadriel attempted to restore us all, but only I recovered. They came to inform me that you are known to them, and the Enemy cannot abuse you in the way he would like any longer, because you and I are wed."  
My heart seized at the word. "Wed?" I sputtered.  
A small smile tickled the corners of his mouth. "Yes, muin nin. Can you not remember the first time we spoke of such things? I told you then, when the Eldar love, it is a tie that binds." His hands caressed my shoulders, and I stared up into his face in wide wonder. Wed...to a king? I was to call this ancient and powerful being...my husband? I was numb with shock. But then, I should have realized it already...he had said as much.  
"I...I am speechless."  
"Yes, I can see that." Now he really smiled, and I tried to smile back. There was no way to explain to him I was not a suitable mate for one such as he. This was unthinkable to me, as I had reverence for him as I would a demi-god. "And as I have also explained to you before, there is much more to you than you yet realize. Your power is only just surfacing. Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel expect you at Rivendell immediately after you leave the Carrock. They seek to help you."  
I didn't know what to say."But...I would like to return to Greenwood after...I would like to come home to you."  
Thranduil slowly shook his head. "We may have torn asunder any chance of the Enemy taking you to possess you and trap you in thraldom, but there is still much work to do, muin nin. You also have another choice to make, either to join your fate to that of Man, or of the Eldar. You cannot stay as a half-elf forever."  
"Why not?" I felt so confused. How could such a thing be possible?  
"It is a matter of afterlife, but also whether to accept the long life of the Eldar or brief life of Man. There is much more to it than that, and I would prefer this discussion to come at a later time. All manner of things will be revealed, at the proper time and place, and the here and now is not it."  
I looked deep into his cool pale eyes, and sensed resistance to further indulge me with answers. "I suppose I have no choice but to wait for Rivendell. All this hurry up and wait nonsense is breaking my heart."  
Thranduil's brow furrowed with displeasure. "You are in need of lessons in patience. And you forget, muin nin. You are holding the key to much of it. You have but to find where you hid it in the recesses of your mind, and when you do, you will be able to set yourself free."  
I slowly ran my hands up his chest, my heart swelling with my many emotions. I caressed his columnar neck, and my fingertips traced his angular chin and jaw. He abruptly took me in his arms to lift me up, and he carried me out of the water to his tent. Dagor and Etayrion had returned and were making their way through the cave to where we were located. Inside the tent, Thranduil layed me down on the pallet we had shared, and when he stood again his arousal was evident.  
"My lord? The war party has moved east. I fear they are headed for our very halls. Do I have your permission to return home? Ryvvik may be in need of me."  
"No, Dagor. You are needed here. We will depart for the Carrock at once." Thranduil turned to me, his cheeks flushed, and when I tried to stand he pushed me back, gracefully falling over onto me. "We must be quick," he breathed, and he was navigating the entrance to my body. I stifled my sharp gasp as I buried my face in his neck and hair, and he barraged me with full deep thrusts at breakneck speed, taking my breath away. With one brief sob of my name and a subsequent shudder, he was coming apart, his upturned lips pressed to mine, his glazed eyes blind even as they were locked with mine. It was a brief summer storm, and it left me swooning. He forced himself to control his breathing, and in one graceful motion he stood, lifting me with him as if I weighed nothing. We were on our feet, though I was still wobbling from our encounter.  
"Here," he breathed, tossing me a light green tunic and a pair of pants that were far too big for me. As I folded and bunched the clothes up around my body to try and make them fit me somewhat, Thranduil was already dressed and strapping on his armor.  
"Tighten this," he ordered, and I was pulling on the fastenings around his ribs. He took in a deep breath as I made sure it was cinched tight, and the front and back plate formed perfectly to his torso. "You look ridiculous." He smiled and briefly kissed my forehead as I scowled at him, watching him hurriedly fit the greaves over his legs, then the sabatons on his feet. When he stood straight again, he was gleaming and perfect once again, his imperious height and bearing regal and proud. I found his jeweled circlet near the pallet, and he lowered his head for me to slip it on. I caught some stray hairs in my nails and smoothed everything down, adjusting the circlet until it sat straight. Thranduil watched my face in my every movement, his impassive stare unnerving.  
"There. A paragon of perfection, my love." I mirrored his expressionless stare, and he suddenly moved forward, his gloved hand trapping my upper arm to pull me in close to him so he could press his mouth to mine once more, brief, soft, and wet. I faltered against the burnished metal shell of his body, submitting to the crush of his arms around me.  
"Wait here," he murmured, and pulled back to collect himself. " I must speak to Etayrion." Thranduil left the tent, and I busied myself collecting the king's belongings in preparation of our departure. I could barely hear the deep voices speaking in low tones as they echoed through the cave, but there was no mistaking Etayrion's cry of anguish and the grief-stricken stream of Silvan that followed. I wept silently to myself as I recalled that day of frantic battle, and the misery of Duvaindir's loss. I felt responsible, and no one could assuage the guilt I was feeling. I mourned his loss all over again, and when Etayrion yanked the tent open and stumbled inside, I could see the emotions I felt magnetized in the ellon before me.  
"Tell me everything, Cael." Etayrion's face was a trembling mask of grief, and I went to him, my arms outstretched. He took my hands in his as he wept. "What happened? Is it as the king described?"  
Thranduil entered the tent and stood in sorrow, his eyes never leaving my face.  
"The Carrock had battled a regiment of orcs. The ones that survived ran into the woods, and found us. They came at us headlong, and we prevailed. But poor Duvaindir...an orc presumed dead sat up as he passed and used him broadsword...it should not have happened. He was stabbed in between the ribs. It happened quickly and there was no way to staunch the bleeding. Duvaindir passed in Braignir's arms, and Maethon and Daeben took him home to Greenwood."  
Etayrion was fighting to keep his composure, but it was useless. "We should have seen them as we made our way west. Why didn't we see them?!?"  
"I don't know...they left the same way we came..."  
"It is possible they chose the southern route-" Thranduil tried, but Etayrion wasn't listening.  
"There is no reason for them to have gone almost two hundred miles off course, my lord-"  
"If they saw the war party coming, they may have had no choice. They would have been terribly outnumbered, Etayrion."  
"My lord, what if the worst has happened? What if they were killed or captured?"  
I watched Thranduil's face smooth over like an lake of glass, all the emotion drained away. "When we reach the Carrock, you will immediately take six of the guard back with you to the Greenwood. Scour it for Maethon and Daeben. When I depart I will take the rest of the guard with me. Are we agreed?"  
Etayrion threw his hands up. "What are we waiting for?" He made his way out of the tent, and Thranduil and I dismantled it in haste. We made our way to the opening of the cave, where Etayrion sat on his horse, flag in hand. Dagor took the rolled up tent from us and strapped it to the pack on his horse.  
"Brace yourself." Thranduil gracefully leaped onto his horse, and then helped me up to sit behind him. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but the armor made it impossible. I dug my fingers into the slits along his ribs and held on. "It's going to be a rough ride, muin nin." He called out to the horse and snapped his reins, and we were off like a bolt of lightning through the woods.  
*****************************************************  
The Carrock loomed before us like a rock giant crouched in repose, waiting for its time to awaken, and as we neared the bridge, I could feel and hear the ruckus of angry voices carrying on the wind.  
"No ú-lagor!!" Thranduil pulled on the reins, and Dagor and Etayrion did the same, obeying the command to slow down. Carefully we crossed the bridge, remaining undiscovered. It wasn't until we were upon the village itself that a trio of youngsters noticed us and took off running towards the Great Hall. Thranduil whipped the reins and we were off at a gallop again, and as we crested over the hill we came upon a crowd gathered outside the hall, elves on one side, Beornings on the other, all fighting and yelling, and in the middle was Braignir in chains.  
"What is going on here?" Thranduil was off his horse, his voice a thunderous call that forced everyone into silence. Grimbeorn stepped forward out of the crowd, his face stormy and stern.  
"You come here unannounced, O King of the Woodland Realm! Your elves are a royal pain in my ass. Your little wolf ran off in the night, and your guard comes accusing my people of wrongdoing!"  
The king and the leader stood facing each other, and the crowd was quiet. Braignir looked up at me with rage in his eyes, and I hung my head.  
"You will release my captain, immediately. He is returning home with the rest of my company. The soldiers tasked with returning the fallen are missing, and a war party of orcs is heading toward my halls." Thranduil's voice was a living entity all by itself. It radiated energy in the fullness of tone and cadence, vibrating through meat and bone, piercing the conscious mind and filling it. I felt a chill run down my spine.  
"I have every intention of doing so, but I will not be ordered around on my own land. You're forgetting your manners, Oropherion." Grimbeorn took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Arnor! Release him!"  
A tall husky figure in full armor used a key on Braignir's binds, and he was free. Braignir immediately saluted the king, and their stern concerned voices rang out as they greeted each other.  
"Mê g'ovannen, aran vuin!" {Well met, beloved king!}  
"Suil, Braignir. Ci vêr?" {Greetings, Braignir. Are you well?}  
Grimbeorn waved his arm. "Enough of this! Arnor, let the rest of them out."  
Thranduil's face cracked ever so slightly with a trace of a scowl. "Out?"  
Arnor removed the blocks of wood barring the doors to the great hall, and the rest of the ellons tumbled out. When they beheld their king, they all went to one knee.  
"Your people and my people are of the same temperment. Everyone starts blaming everyone else and I was forced to restore order, until things calmed down."  
"You mean you locked up my people, holding them for, exactly what, may I ask?" Thranduil was starting to bloom with light, like heavy clouds did when the sun just began to break through. Some people in the crowd gasped.  
"Unruly accusations, without just cause, and threats against my people...I'm sure there's more, but..." Grimbeorn held him arm out, gesturing beyond the doors of the great hall. "I would rather discuss this over a draught of mead. Your soldiers can pack up and ready themselves. What say you, Elvenking?"  
Thranduil considered it for a moment. Then he turned to Etayrion and Dagor.  
"Gather everyone and prepare to leave. I shall meet you outside shortly."  
He strode in behind Grimbeorn, who shut the doors to the great hall, allowing no one else in. Dagor and Etayrion dismounted, and so I did as well. I passed the reins to Etayrion as Dagor commanded the soldiers to line up. What was to happen here? At the very least I needed to get back into my own clothes- the king's clothes on me was a ridiculous sight.  
"I'll be back, Etayrion."  
I was almost to my cottage when Signild appeared out from behind a tree. I couldn't read her expression, and every hair on my body stood on end at her as she approached. I could see scratches and dried blood on every bared surface of skin.  
"I have been waiting for you, little wolf. I saw you running away last night. How is it that your king is here? You could not have made it to the caves and back by now. The timing is wrong. So what does all this mean, then?"  
"If you saw me leave, why didn't you tell the guard? It would have saved a lot of trouble."  
Signild stood glowering before me now, staring at me with dark eyes full of rage. "I went into the woods after you. I thought I had you, but I found your elf friends, all three of them, instead."  
"You mean the king?"  
"No. I mean the other two, carrying the fallen one. They were on the run from a pack of orcs. I tried to help them..."  
I almost fell onto the stones beneath my feet. "No..."  
"I lost a lot of blood to those orcs. They caught one of your guard. The other got away with the body he was carrying..." She almost looked sympathetic as my face fell. "I am sorry. But you were my priority. I lost you when the king took you away. The orcs made off with your elf friend. I cannot say if the other elf will make it home with that body slung over his lap..."  
Those were the last words I heard before I passed out.  
************************************************  
"Is she awake?" Thranduil stormed past the Beornings surrounding the little cottage. He practically broke the door down, and found Signild sitting bedside with Cael, who was still unconscious and rambling a blue streak in that strange tongue.  
"What have you done?" Thranduil's voice was pure poison from a serpent's fangs. Signild couldn't help but shrink back.  
"I chased her through the woods. One of your guard was caught by the orcs, the other was gone by the time I found my way back to Cael's trail. I am sorry, but she has a terrible fever." She stood as the king slowly approached the bed, his physicality and energy matched in intimidating size. He seemed to fill the cottage.  
"Get out," he spat, and Signild very carefully edged around him so she could leave. He started removing his armor after she left, his eyes never leaving Cael as she writhed in bed, muttering in a delirium. Free of any obstructions, he knelt at her bedside, touching her forehead- sure enough, her skin was as hot as a campfire. "My dearest...what happened to you..."  
"...tamaso mā jyotirgamaya..."  
Thranduil could not understand her, and he sat holding her hand, listening to the strange words as she uttered them, when suddenly the door opened again, and Grimbeorn came into the cottage. Thranduil eyed him warily.  
"She is sick. You should not be here."  
Grimbeorn stood silent, listening to her mumbling. "I have medicine coming for her. In the meantime, my father is coming down from the Carrock itself to see her. The language she speaks is very old, and I believe it is one of the first of my people. Did she show any signs of sickness before, Oropherion?"  
Thranduil bristled. "Stop calling me by my last name, Grimbeorn. And no, she did not. She swallowed spider blood as she battled them in the woods. Otherwise I can only surmise she caught a chill from shifting and running in the cold night air. Either way, she needs help, and I am most grateful for your assistance."  
Grimbeorn smiled down at the king beatifically. "Not to worry. We have the best healers preparing herbs for her. Most of your company has already departed, and the rest are about to climb the walls with worry."  
"I am not concerned with that at the moment, Grimbeorn-"  
Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Grimbeorn opened it to find an impossibly tall and wide figure in the doorway.  
"Father! Come in." Grimbeorn smiled and saluted him, but Beorn did not return the gesture. Grimbeorn left without another word.  
"She is sick, I can smell it." He came into the light, and Thranduil could see time had taken its toll on the old bear. His hair was white as snow, and though his body was strong and sturdy, his face was drawn, and his eyes rheumy. "King Thranduil. How do you fare, old friend?"  
Thranduil shook his head, his face a mask of worry. "I would fare better if I knew what was causing her sickness, with the hope that I could help her."  
Beorn moved slowly, practically creaking as he walked. He came close to the bed, and stood still over Cael, looking, listening.  
"Little wolf. I have heard much of her. She is very brave, and very strong." He held his hand over her, breathing deeply. "And she is very sick, it is true. It could be that the cliffdive did her harm-"  
"Cliffdive?" Thranduil's face could not hide first the shock, and then the anger.  
"Yes, my lord. It is one of the many ways we initiate change in young ones." He took one of Cael's hands, and she moaned in her fevered delirium.  
"...tamaso mā jyotirgamaya..."  
Beorn dropped her hand, his face a mask of shock. Thranduil's brow knitted.  
"What is she saying?"  
Beorn couldn't speak for a moment. "It is a language of old...my father's father spoke it. I was alone for so long, the only ones I spoke to came from your kingdom...and many places elsewhere...I had forgotten what it sounded like." He lowered to his knees at the foot of the bed, near Thranduil. "How could she know it?"  
Thranduil didn't respond, just watched as Beorn first began humming, then singing a song in the very language she was speaking.  
"Kaashai mahii shishira diidhitinaa rajanyo ha....Msai jalaani saritaam kumudai saraamsi sapta... Chadaih kusuma bhaara natai vana antaa shkuklii kritaani upavanaani ca maalatiibhi..."  
"What does this mean...?" For one of the first times in his long life, the king felt overwhelmingly confused. He shook his head, watching her as she wept in her sleep.  
"An old song of my people. It said, 'Blanched is the earth with grass and the nights with silvery and coolant beams of the moon, and the rivers with white swans, lakes with lotuses, and the forest up to its fringes with fragrant trees and plants, all swagging under the weight of their flowers.'"  
"Amma..." Cael cried, and Thranduil's heart broke. He understood at least what that meant, and it was her elven mother she wept for in her delirious dreams. He thought of going to her, but to venture inside her mind now meant being weakened and exposed far from the safe confines of his home.  
"She calls for her mother, and before that, said, 'from darkness, into light'. I can only imagine her story to be a long and terrible one. What do you know of her, Lord Thranduil?"  
"Only what I have divulged on my own, and what Lady Galadriel's mirror revealed to her. She has closed off part of her mind, and is now an amnesiac. Her mother was a Noldor, captured by the enemy and made a thrall. She was forced to watch, and then as she broke apart the Enemy used her as a vessel for a dark purpose. She somehow changed skin into a wolf and escaped, though it is not known how. That is how she came to your land, to see if she had family here, and to learn control of her shifting ability."  
"That much I am aware of, but alas, the rest is a mystery to me. Her father could have been a descendant of my people, though I am not sure how. Whatever the happenstance, she is here now, and I will endeavor to help her."  
Thranduil bowed slightly. "I am in your debt, Beorn."  
The old bear smiled ever so slightly. "We hold no debts to each other, Lord Thranduil. Only the renewed alliance of our people. The ground shakes, I know you can feel it. War is coming."  
Thranduil said nothing, only nodded, and the door opened again, this time a young woman with a wooden cup and a wet rag coming in. Space in the cottage was limited due to the size of the king and the old bear, and she had to shoulder her way through.  
"Did you find the right herbs, Britta?" Beorn stood to the side and let her come close. Thranduil begrudgingly gave up his bedside spot, and Britta took it, laying the wet rag across Cael's forehead.  
"Yes I did, and she will not like the taste, but it will help break her fever."  
"What can I do to help?" Thranduil stood near, his hands open in a gesture of assistance. Britta peered up at him.  
"You can hold her head while I pour some of this down her throat. She will choke, but I hope to get some of it down."  
Thranduil did what he could, and lifted her up as she choked on the bitter fluid. It was only then he could hear the congestion in her chest, and it worried him. Beorn watched him in sympathy and sadness- he remembered the last alliance of elves and men, and what happened there, and he knew Thranduil deep down was still bereft. He had lost much and many, and Beorn hoped he would not lose Cael too.  
"I promise you, we will do everything we can." Beorn and Britta turned and left, and Thranduil knelt beside Cael's bed again, resting his head on her hand, trying to fight off the worry and desperation he felt.


	15. Alpha Lupi

"My lord...I cannot stand by and wait for much longer." Dagor looked up into the eyes of his king, trying not to flinch from the blistering glare he was enduring. "We are wasting our time here."  
Thranduil's eyes narrowed as he struggled to stifle the conflict he felt. He knew he had to leave. His best warriors were flung about, and worst of all he was off the throne at a time when crisis seemed beset upon the realm. His brain buzzed in his skull as he stole a sideways glance at Cael wrapped up in bed, finally resting without fever.  
"Dagor...you are correct in your judgment. Your counsel is welcome and most prudent. We leave at first light."  
Dagor nodded and exited the cottage, and Thranduil turned to Cael with a heavy sigh.  
"Davo annin le nestad." Thranduil kneeled bedside once again, telling her he would heal her. The song purred in his throat, rumbled in his chest, and floated out of his mouth, a living projection of his fëa, and with it a white light grew from within him. The soft lilt of his voice belied the strength of power he was exuding, and as he was drained, Cael was awakening.  
"Thranduil..." She opened her eyes to find him slumped over her, his hair a platinum spill of moonlight across the dark blanket that covered her. She tried to sit up but was dizzy, still in between states, and coming to the conclusion of what had just occurred.   
"Mmm..." He wouldn't sit up straight, not yet. He could feel the pain pulsing throughout his body, aching in his abdomen, searing his arm, pulsing in his face. She tried pulling him up, but he was dead weight.  
"What did you do..."  
He stirred a little, then lifted his head. She couldn't help but gasp at the wounds that marred the left side of his face. His eyes were a dull white, and he worked hard to focus on her.  
"Fixed you."  
************************************************  
I was horrified. I quickly stood up in bed, damn the dizziness, and began hauling the king in to take my place.  
"Why, why, why did you..." I was terribly out of breath, and I coughed and coughed until I spat up phlegm. How I had become so sick so quickly I could only guess was a combination of events, and now I was enraged over it all. I could only remember Signild telling me what she had seen in the woods, and nothing else.   
"Cael...don't trouble yourself so..." But he layed in the bed now, his breathing shallow. "I will recover."  
I stood over him in the long shirt he had loaned me, and nothing else. A wracking cough overtook me, and I turned away from him to let it tear through me. More phlegm- this was disgusting.  
"Get it all out..."  
I looked back at Thranduil as the coughing fit subsided. He was still and unmoving, as if in death, his skin ashen and his lips pale. I found a pair of my boots and clean dry pants, and wrapped a fur around me. The night air hit me like a cold blast from hell as I opened the door, and I charged ahead toward the Great Hall. I could see my Greenwood army in the distance by the stables in a flurry of motion, and I knew they were preparing for a journey. As the panic spread in my chest, I walked faster, until another coughing fit took me. This time was worse than the others- I almost fell on my knees as I coughed so hard I retched. Spitting and wiping my mouth, I continued to the hall, where I found Grimbeorn inside with a much older and bigger skinshifter- the energy coming from him was like a thunderclap as he looked up at me, watching me storm in.  
"My lords." I bowed, and as I rose, the older skinchanger was already up and making his way towards me.  
"Cael." He took my hand in his and stared down at me, and I tried to swallow my fear. He looked as though he would eat me.  
"This is my father, little wolf." Grimbeorn was on his feet now as well, and stood nearby. "His name is Beorn, and he is the oldest and wisest of us all."  
"This is not the work of a healer." Beorn stood closer, and took in a deep breath. "It is elf magic. Where is your king?"  
"That is why I am here. He has made himself sick. I don't know if he is exhausted from expending the energy, or if he has taken the sickness on himself. Can you please come?"  
Beorn turned to his son. "Call Britta. Tell her she is needed." His milky amber eyes were back on me. "Take me to him."  
On the path there, he addressed me in a soft raspy voice. "Sarva samyak bhavisyati."  
I stopped in my tracks. "What...what did you say?"  
Beorn smiled down at me. A light snow was beginning, and flakes drifted down in a shower of glittering ice. "I said, everything will be alright. Did you understand me?"  
"I don't know...it sounds so familiar. What is it?"  
"An ancient language of my people. When your fever was high, you were muttering in it. I had not heard it in so very long."  
My mind was numb. "I have been told I do that. I am so sorry...I cannot remember much of anything, and how any of it is possible mystifies me. I have no idea what I am saying when a fever is upon me, and at least I know now what language it's in. I wish I could complete the puzzle I am...but I do want to thank you for allowing me to stay here."  
He smiled warmly. "You have nothing to thank me for. I can only hope to learn from you as you learn from us. You are welcome to stay as long as you like."  
"Thank you so much. I am honored." My voice caught in my throat as I thought of the possibility of staying behind, alone, without any of the army with me. "We must get to the cottage."  
Thranduil was still in the exact same position as before. Even as the cold came in with us and rushed through the room, causing the fire to flicker and flutter, he did not stir or open his eyes.  
"He needs your help." Beorn watched me as I knelt beside the bed. I took the king's hand- it was smooth and cold. "His spirit is a mere flicker."  
Tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't allow this. Beorn came closer, until his leg brushed my side. He studied Thranduil, took in a few deep breaths, and then his hand came down on my shoulder. "What must I do?"  
"You must shift."   
I looked up at him as the fear washed over me, and he tried a kind smile. "But how? I don't know how-"  
"You will do it, right now. And I will help."   
"But I can't, I don't know what to do!" I felt shame join the terror I was already feeling as Beorn's face pinched in aggravation. "I am sorry. I'm just so-"  
"Scared? Well, young one, the time has come. We will raise the energy together. It will give some life back to Lord Thranduil, but you will shift as we do so. If you do not, then you are not a skinchanger."  
I stared up at him in wonder. "What do we do?"  
He held his hand out to me, and I took it. He pulled me up, and already I could feel the power pulsing out of him, warm and amber, so familiar to what I considered as mine.   
"I am going to sing an old song. You may already know the words, somewhere in your mind. If you remember, join me. And if you do not, at least try to hum. Concentrate on my voice, and above all, let go."  
We stood side by side along the bed Thranduil rested on, still motionless and barely breathing. Beorn took my other hand in his, gently as my hands were so small in comparison to his, and he began to hum softly in his throat. The hair on my arms stood on end, and when he finally began to sing in his rough sandy voice, a constant shiver ran through my body, up and down, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and back again. I shut my eyes and gripped Beorn's hands tighter, trying to find the balance in the rising warmth of his power and the awakening of mine.  
"Om saha navavatu saha nau bhunaktu...saha viryam karavavahai tejasvi navadhitam astu..."  
I had no idea what he was saying, but the words and the melody together brought tears to my eyes.   
"Ma vidvishavahai om shanti, shanti, shanti...om bhur bhuvah svaha tat savitur varenyam..."  
I heard the shadow this time, somewhere in the distance of my consciousness I could hear it breathing, and as I became more aware of it, I could hear a low growl. It advanced through the shadows of my mind, and it took on shape. I could see the glint of eyes in the darkness, I could smell the wild woods come alive, and my heart leapt in anticipation of what was to come.  
"Bargo devasya dhimahi...dhiyo yona prachodayat..."  
I knew what I had to do. I relaxed my body and let go of the fear I was feeling, the terror that accompanied the thought of losing Thranduil, the fear of losing control and changing, all the worry I had been carrying all this time. I just...let it go. The feeling of falling overtook me, but then the shadow washed over me, and I felt pain like I had never known. I tried opening my eyes as the terror resurfaced, but it was as if I had no eyes, no arms, no legs- I was nothing but pain in darkness. I perceived a scream that became a growl, and I could still hear Beorn, shouting in song now, and then I felt cool air on my nose- the pain was finally subsiding. I tasted blood in my mouth, and when I went to lick my lips, I felt upper and lower rows of sharp teeth in my mouth. I tried to open my eyes, and I did- I was low to the ground, everything in shades of yellows, greys, browns, washed out colors. My paws were the next thing I noticed, and then I looked up to see Beorn smiling down at me as he continued to sing. I stood up straighter to see my king stirring, breathing deeper now, and I immediately went to him, nose first against his arm, and I breathed in deep- his scent was warm and heady, so many different things I could smell in subtle layers as never before, sharper, cleaner, blunter: earth and wood and bone, tree and flower and grass, cinnamon, vanilla, nutmeg...it went on and on, even as I drew back from him he still rang like a bell through me, deep and full in my brain. And my ears, full of the smallest sounds, the creak of wood flooring beneath, the sounds of the winter storm outside, the cadence and vibrato of Beorn's voice a mystical wave of crystalline energy in the air that washed over and through me.  
I could hear him before the door even opened, the growl rising in my throat.  
"What is going on in here?" Braignir was storming through the door, the snow swirling in with him on cold currents of wind. I couldn't help my reaction as he neared the king, and I bared my teeth as the growl rose. Beorn's hand was on my shoulderblades, trying to calm them from hackling as they were.  
"We are giving life back to your king. He rid Cael of her illness, but it weakened him considerably. He needs to rest."  
Braignir looked down at me, and I tried to uncrouch. "I want you both out of here." He took another step forward, and I growled again, snapping my teeth. I could see his hand on the pommel of his sword. "I am sworn to protect and defend him!"  
Beorn looked down at me. "I think she feels the same way. Please try to calm down, captain."  
"Take that creature and get out of here!" Braignir began unsheathing his sword, and I gathered myself in a tight spring beside Beorn, the deep growl in my throat becoming a snarling bark.  
"Captain!"   
The deep bellowing crack of Thranduil's voice made us all jump. I turned to see his hand up to Braignir, but his eyes remained closed.  
"There are some things you do not yet understand, and this is one of them. Please leave."  
Braignir's eyes darted from the king, to Beorn, to me, and back to the king again. "My lord, I think-"  
"If I want to know what you're thinking, captain, I will ask. Go."  
Braignir's face flushed, but he bit his tongue and swung the door open to leave. He turned just before and burned me with a glare.  
"I will be right here. Right outside this door!" And he slammed the door closed as he exited.   
"Cael..." I felt Thranduil's hand on me, through the thick coat of fur along my back. I felt my ears flatten, and I turned to nuzzle the hand that stroked me.  
"How fare you, Elvenking?" Beorn looked down at Thranduil, his nostrils flaring. "Better?"  
Thranduil's face was half a porcelain mask that bore no expression, only the bloodied burns of his past. "Yes. I thank you, Beorn." Now that Braignir was gone, I could hear how weak and exhausted he truly was. Beorn brought some water and bread to a nearby table, within easy reach of the bed.  
"If you are without need, I will take my leave of you now. My bones are aching for the comfort of a fire and a bed." Beorn started to leave, but he stopped to rest his hand on my head. "You have succeeded, little wolf. A fine job."  
Thranduil and I were alone. I sat on my haunches by the bed and rested my head on the covers, peering at him through new eyes. He was beautiful as ever, only now I could actually see the tendrils of his light as it played over the features of his face, faint but true.   
"You will be the death of me, daedhrognes."   
I watched the faint smile tickle his lips. I tried to speak, but it came out as a baleful whine. This would not work for me...I wanted to care for him, talk to him, touch him. As I worked this thought over and over in my mind, I could feel the pain searing in my paws first, then up my limbs, into my chest, through my head, and down along my spine. My vision went dark, and I threw back my head and howled in agony.  
"Cael..."  
Starlight filled my mind. I was a shadow no more. I awoke bare and chilled on the floor, damp with sweat and breathless. Human again.  
"Cael. Rise."  
Thranduil's good eye was fixed on me. I slowly stood on my own two feet, wobbly at best. The color had returned to his cheeks.  
"I forever forbid you to heal me in any way from this day forward."  
Thranduil blinked slowly at my words. "You are in no way permitted to forbid me to do anything. I will continue to do whatever I want."  
I shook my head resolutely. "Then you will return to your halls, and I will stay here, permanently."  
Now he smiled, a sickly grin that unnerved me. "You will return with me at first light. I will not tolerate your insolence, especially now. You are in no position to make any demands on me, nor will you threaten me with treachery. Your home is with me, your husband."  
My mouth dropped open at his words, and I watched his smile turn conniving. "You send me here to learn, and now that I can truly make some strides in knowledge, you want me to leave?"  
"Yes. You have learned to shift. That was what my goal was for you. And now that you have achieved it, you will return home with me. There is little else to do here."  
I looked around for something to wrap myself in, and found an extra blanket nearby. I went to stoke the fire, bring more warmth into the room. The king's attitude was far too chilly for me. He lay still, only moving to draw the blankets further up to his jawline as a visible shiver ran through his body. I remembered Maith and her steadfast packing before I left, and I recalled a flask being stuffed in one of the bags. I wondered then what it was, and so I went about digging around until I found it. I pulled the thick cork out of the elegant glass bottle, and the heady scent of spices and honey wafted out.  
"What are you doing?" Thranduil's commanding voice urged me to turn around to face him at once. He eyed the bottle in my hand. "What do you have there?"  
I clutched at the blanket as I made my way back to the bed. The wind was whistling through tiny cracks in the wooden cottage, but the heat from the fire was spreading and beating back the sharp damp cold. Thranduil's left eye was returning, but his face remained torn and burned. I winced as I looked at him, and his lips curled in a slight snarl.  
"Save your guilt, and do not pity me. I am long past it. And still, I would do it all over again." He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, and I lowered the bottle close to his face so the pungent smell would reach him. His eyes flew open. "Miruvor...how did you come by this?"  
"Maith packed it for me. I didn't know what it was..."  
Thranduil's brow furrowed. "It is a gift not lightly given, as it is held dear by my people." His hand stretched out from underneath the blankets and he took it from me, struggling to sit up. "One or two sips is all that is needed to help restore vitality and wellness. Will you help me?"  
Quickly I sat beside him and held him against me as he drank from the bottle. The first drink caused him to cough and sputter, but the second drink went much smoother, and I watched as his eyes rolled back in his head before he closed them again.  
"Yes...that's what it's like," he muttered. "I remember it now..."  
I held him as he swooned a little, and my blanket gaped open as he nuzzled the perfect side of his face in and against my breast. My heart beat in double-time now, and just to find out what it was, I took a small sip from the glass bottle. The taste reminded me of Thranduil's sweet and musk kiss, the feeling of it as it rolled in a velvet wave down my throat was the sensation of his warm fingers along my skin, and my body rejoiced with all of it. I felt a strange vibration deep within me, and instantly my vision sharpened, my mood lifted, and I felt reinvigorated. I looked down at the Elvenking's injuries, and watched in awe as it all slowly repaired by itself. His breathing was slow and deep, as if in sleep, and I stroked his hair, his neck. His voice was broken as he moaned softly, and took my hand that wasn't touching him in his.  
"Please...I beg of you. Let's not do this again anytime soon, Thranduil. I cannot bear to watch you suffer."  
"I was at my father's side when we marched into Greenwood, and stood with him as he raised a kingdom. I fought in countless battles against the Enemy in his many evil and cruel forms. I buried my wife and my father even in my infirmity, and in isolation without my one true companion, I raised my son... though the halls of Greenwood were crowded with many, I was desolate in the heavy shadow of my inherited crown...I needed my other half to be by my side where she belonged, to be a mother to our son...and I wept bitterly for her and my Ada for ages." I felt the tears on my skin as they slipped from Thranduil's tightly closed eyes. His cheek was restored, and so my hand caressed it, tears welling in my eyes for him. He bit his lip to stifle it all, to drive it back down and away as his grief threatened to overtake him. "So you see, my gem, I have never stopped suffering. It is the music that plays in the background of my life with every step I take. I need nor ask for pity, for understanding, for sympathy, or compassion. I take what I want and do what I will. You alone have opened my heart against my own wishes, after ages of solitude, and it is to you that I am beholden. But make no mistake, you will return with me in the morning, without the consent or permission of any save my own." Thranduil rose up to meet me face to face, and I was graced by his perfection as he was fully restored. His eyes blazed with light, a fearsome ageless power that was his very soul. "You belong to me, shadow wolf, Cael Peredhel, and I to you. This is our shared journey, our destiny. The powers of both space and time have been altered to a single purpose, unforeseen as of yet, and in the midst of it all, you and I are joined for eternity, let no living or undead force ever tear us asunder."   
I found myself speechless once again. There was nothing I could say, no words to join to his poetry. I could only kiss him, and he returned it, soft, sweet, and slow. My hands were caressing his columnar neck, and he was grasping at me to pull me down beneath him as our neverending kiss burned and seethed with ignited passion. My blanket was thrown back, and my bare skin tingled with the friction of his powerful body, wrapped in thick cotton clothes though it was, as he rubbed and bucked against me. I caught his hair in my fist and bound it to the base of his neck, my tongue slipping against his as I pushed deeper into his mouth. I slid my hand in between our bodies and drove down past the laced front of his pants, and his gasp was delectable to me as I gripped the stiff tentpole inside. I couldn't get my hand all the way around it but I stroked him anyway, and I watched his face as his breath caught in his throat, and his aching desire lit him like a candle, provoking his deep dim glow into a near-blinding silver halo.  
"Myself...again...with you..." His voice echoed in my mind, and I was still kissing his honeyed mouth, drunk on the rising scent of his skin. With one hand he tore his pants off, and I hooked my legs around his hips, pulling him down on top of me. I broke from the kiss to softly cry his name, half-smothered by his open mouth.  
"Now, now, now!" I writhed downwards until I gave him no room and no choice but to drive himself deep into me, his sharp intake of breath almost a cry itself. I felt as if I were possessed, like I had no room for myself, only the unquenchable hunger for him- he worked me hard, his voice breaking into short and sharp cries at every inward thrust, and my own voice was rising beyond my control as I fell fast out of reality and through the veil, the orgasm taking me far into the bright, wild abandon of complete and total joy. Thranduil's wide hands held me tightly as his muscles rippled like powerful ocean waves,pivoting and plunging into me, and I was aware of only him as I lost myself there, in the wide ecliptic plane of his blinding light.  
His strangled groan in my ear snapped me back, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him lovingly as he fell apart, his body hitching and spasming, his hair fanning over my face as I had let it go at some point in my delirium. He heaved for a deep breath as his aurora slowly dimmed to a cool ember.  
"You have restored me...and drained me again."  
I laughed softly, and kissed his cheek, his ear, his neck. "But I will lavish you all night with my love. You will sleep deep, and when you awaken it will be to a pleasant surprise that will be sure to make you smile."  
"Promises sound so sweet..."  
I pulled back from him, and he looked down at me with a gentle smile. "Promises are easily broken. I only give you my undying oaths."  
The king was pleased, and he purred in contentment. "That is worth its weight in gold, as are you, Cael." He gave me a soft chaste kiss, and then looked around the room. "I am in need in the face of another long night. Where is that miruvor?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OM saha navavatu  
> saha nau bhunaktu  
> saha viryam karavavahai  
> tejasvi navadhitam astu  
> ma vidvishavahai  
> OM shanti, shanti, shanti:  
> May we be protected together.  
> May we be nourished together.  
> May we create strength among one another.  
> May our study be filled with brilliance and light.  
> May there be no hostility between us.  
> Om peace, peace, peace.  
> _______________________________  
> Om bhur bhuvah svaha  
> Tat savitur varenyam  
> Bargo devasya dhimahi  
> Dhiyo yona prachodayat:  
> I reflect on the unity of Divine Spirit, which pervades everything in the earth, the atmosphere and heavens.  
> May this Supreme Consciousness protect me and illuminate my intellect that I may realize my inherent oneness with That.  
> I meditate on the great luminous light that enlightens all three worlds.  
> May it enlighten all.


	16. Death Knell

Thranduil held me in his arms in the deep of the night. The fire was dwindling, and the wind moaned outside- I wondered if the snow was still falling. I carefully untangled myself from the trap of the king's arms and legs, and wrapping a blanket around me I went to look out the kitchen window. The snow had reduced to a flurry, and in the distance I could see dark shapes scattered here and there amidst the cottages. I narrowed my eyes in the hopes that it would help me to identify the shapes,and I took in a deep breath when I realized they were Carrock guards, and Greenwood army elves, standing guard outside in the snow.  
"Cael," Thranduil said softly, "come back to bed."  
"There are so many standing guard outside..."  
"Yes, the enemy finds strength in the cover of night, and moves in position to attack in the shadows. We must remain in a state of constant vigilance, muin nin."  
He came up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. I ran my hands across his smooth hairless limbs, until I found his hands tightly clasped at my breast. "I'm scared. Worried for the ones scattered through the woods, terrified at the thought of one of ours taken by the orcs..." Tears were filling my eyes again, and the familiar nameless terror rising in me sent waves of terrible images through my brain- bloody torture and death screams. I had seen so many die, their faces flashed before me, but one stayed in focus- the beautiful elleth that ran with me, that held me in my memories...my mother. I knew her name- Huorelendë...her long red hair shone in the moonlight as she clutched my hand, and we ran and ran as our village burned...to a dark tower of dizzying height, where a bearded man in a white robe waited, his arms outstretched to us and the others that ran with us...I felt paralyzed by it, and I almost retched as the fear clutched at my heart. My legs were weak, and I stumbled forward. Thranduil quickly caught me, turned me around and carried me to bed, all the while humming a melody that I dimly recognized. He drew the blankets and himself around me, caressing my head and back as I struggled not to weep.  
"My dearest..."he murmured, "do not underestimate the strength of the Eldar. If it is true that Maethon or Daeben have been captured, know that I sent the strongest and finest warriors with you on your journey, and we will find them, no matter how long it takes or how far we must go. Etayrion commanded regiments in his younger years for my father, as well as smithing weapons and armor for the entire army. He is strong of heart and mind, and body as well. He will not stop until he has brought everyone home."  
His body was warm and soft in the right spots as I delved in deep towards him, and his iron grip around me eased my terror just enough until I felt I was slipping down onto a soft cloud of sleep. He was humming again, and through the haze of sleep I could see the golden light of his halo shining in the darkness of my subconscious.  
**********************************************************  
Dawn. Thranduil was already gone, and a wave of panic washed over me, until I heard his commanding voice in the lilt of Sindarin outside the door. I could make out most : "Ready the horses. Find Beorn. I must speak with him."  
The door opened, and my king walked in, the snow clinging to the feet of his armor. His preternatural gaze locked on me, and I took in a deep breath. So many times that I could not read him, even to guess what he was thinking, what was in that stare. At times it sent shivers through me, as if at any moment he would smite me, or devour me, and any displeasure I could cause him would give me such a grieved heart. I would feel shame looking into those eyes at times, because of my own shortcomings. And always he would soften, as if he read my thoughts- I knew he could now for certain. I truly was never alone. He would answer my thoughts out loud, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to read a person's mind. So exact were his replies that it dispelled any notion of him guessing my thoughts, and so I knew without a doubt that he was deeply linked to me. If only I could do the same with him as easily as he could with me.  
Now a sly smile turned the King of Wood and Stone into a crafty fox, and I knew he had picked up my thoughts once again. My cheeks flushed with heat.  
"You must get up, muin nin. Right now." He came towards the bed and I sat up, the blankets falling away from my bare body. His eyes lingered too long, his cheeks already pink from the cold air outside, and his lips parted in a slow exhale. "You should hurry. Although it is such a pity to waste this moment..." He sat on the bed and drew me into his arms, and I gasped at the shock of the armor cold from the morning against my skin. "Kiss me first, kiss me now." His breath was warm on my face, and smelled of cinnamon and vanilla- his kiss was soft and sweet at first, but quickly turned hungry and forceful, his gloved hands rubbing and then seizing my upper arms. He took my breath away. My nipples froze against the silver steel of his chestplate, and I cried out softly as his mouth ran over my chin and across my throat. He nuzzled my neck, and the jeweled circlet slipped off his head and onto my lap, and I couldn't help but to get my fingers into his lustrous blonde hair as it slipped all over my skin.  
Thranduil let out an exasperated groan before speaking. "Will you please fix this..." The circlet dangled on a gloved fingertip as he drew back, and I could see the pain of desire in his eyes. "And for the love of the Valar, get your clothes and armor on. I will help you if I must."  
It was my turn to smile slyly. "You couldn't help me dress if your life depended on it. It would be a waste of time, my love."  
His expression went from frustration to scandal. "Don't you dare..."  
"I only speak the truth. You would only strip off the clothes we would attempt to put on. You would rather me naked and in your chambers at all times. Do not pretend otherwise." I laughed softly, and my lips brushed his as I came for a kiss. Thranduil seized my arms again, forcing them slightly back, and leaned forward, his eyes ablaze.  
"And if you keep talking out of turn and making your little jokes, I will do just that." His voice was a growling staccato through clenched teeth. "You will see the light of day only through a window, and I will keep you within for all your days, shadow wolf."  
The shock was evident on my face, and as I took in a deep breath to reply, he slowly shook his head, his eyes still locked with mine.  
"Get. Dressed." He stood slowly and walked back towards the door, only to watch me as I wrapped a blanket around myself and went in search of clean clothes. I wouldn't look at him- my arms still stung from the unneccessary roughness. I could see the outline of his strong, tall frame lurking by the door, and when I had gathered my clothes, ready to dress, I stopped and looked pointedly at him.  
"Well? Are you going to give me some privacy?"  
Thranduil said nothing, just silently watched me in shadow. I realized he was not going anywhere, and so I awkwardly began to dress, feeling his eyes on me the entire time. Finally I was done, and as I pulled the drawstring on my pants to tighten them, Thranduil marched across the room and threw me on the bed. His sudden forceful movements caused me to shout in surprise, and as he tore at the laced front of my pants, I tried to fight him- it was useless. I beat on unyielding burnished silver, and as I tussled with him, a smile split his face.  
"When we return to my halls, you will be back in my chambers, as my wife, and long will I summon your pleasure, until the walls crack from the sounds of your gratification."  
He yanked my pants down and off, lowering to his knees to stare in abject hunger at my sex. His wide hands caressed my knees, my thighs, and I was powerless and at his mercy at once. He tongue slid slowly over his bottom lip as he ran his hands up and over the smooth mound of my pulsing desire for him, and his fingers found their way in easily.  
"Thranduil," I gasped, "the army..."  
His thick brows raised with amusement. "Let them wait."  
And he lowered down to lick at me, over and over, faster and harder, his fingers thrusting in and out of me. My knees drew up involuntarily, a cry strangling in my throat, as his sinuous mouth and tongue worked wonders. I threw my head back as the intensity carried me, riveted to the bed as I was, and he grasped my hips to pull me closer. My feet touched his shoulders, steel and fabric, and the glissade of his hair tickled my inner thighs. His moan against my flesh set my nervous system on fire, and my back arched as he sucked more of me into his mouth. I felt as if I was being swallowed whole. My hands tightened into fists, gathering the blanket in them as my eyes went blind- I wanted him so badly I couldn't stand it, but I didn't want him to stop either. I heard my voice cry out his name, but I wasn't fully aware of it, just the alternate flashes of heat and cold that vibrated my brain and turned me into a crazed, delirious heartbeat as I let go into the void of overstimulation and ecstasy.  
My eyes opened slowly as I returned to the present, and I saw the king standing over me, his expression still and enigmatic as always. He was silent, his visage perfect and intact- the only giveaway was his dark pink lips that just moments ago had brought me to the edge of insanity. His eyes burned into me as his brow furrowed.  
"The sound of my name as you climax is most intoxicating, second only to you yourself, Cael. But do not patronize me, or presume too much. It is most impertinent of you to mock me, particularly when I am using every ounce of my restraint at present. My desire for you need not be so depreciated." He had my pants in his gloved hand, and he held them out to me. "I would prefer to have more of you, but we must away. The day is wasting. Come, let me dress you."  
I held my hand out, much the same gesture he was very practiced with. "No. I can dress myself, my lord. And I do not mock you, nor do I patronize you, or presume anything. And I would never disrespect you. But I am not a thing to be owned or locked away. If you would ever do such a thing, I would no longer be your wife. I would be just another possession of yours." I took the pants from his hand and looked away from him. "Gather the army, and I will get myself ready."  
I locked eyes with him, refusing to turn away from his arctic glare. I knew he wasn't pleased- I watched his nostrils flare, but his face remained carved from ice, expressionless, cold.  
Thranduil turned on his heel and stalked out of the cottage, slamming the door behind him, and I quickly slipped the pants on and readied myself faster than I ever had. My armor was still a fight to get on by myself, but I had the will and resolve to see it through.  
When I exited the cottage, the remainder of the army was already ahorse and in formation outside my borrowed home. Calenor looked back at me with a hiss.  
"What did you do, wolfling? The king is having fits."  
He turned his horse to face me, and he led another horse he had readied for me, reins in his hand. I could see the smile under his helmet as his eyes crinkled at the outer corners.  
"You are nothing but trouble, little wolf. I don't know if I like the competition."  
"Quiet yourself, Calenor." But I had to smile back. And then I saw Thranduil coming around one of the cottages in full stride, the sabaton covers over his feet kicking snow out behind him even as it seemed he walked on top of it.  
"Boe ammen mened!" His voice was a dark call that echoed over our heads, letting us know it was time to go. He held out his hand and snatched the reins of his ebony charger from the terrified stable boy Eirik. In one swift, flawless motion, Thranduil swung himself onto his horse, and sitting tall proud on the saddle, pulled his helmet down over his head. His eyes glowed from within, and he gave me a piercing look before snapping his reins and surging forward to lead us away from the Carrock. I turned at the last moment and saw Signild and Grimbeorn standing in the ankle- deep snow, watching us leave. I could not discern their expression, but I felt torn as we rode away. Surely this all could have ended better. I had not had the chance to speak to them myself, thank them for their hospitality, however rough it was. I thought of Beorn, and it made me sad to think I might never see him again. It was to him I felt beholden in many ways- he had forced me to learn to shift, and healed my king, all in one deft stroke. He was still the true leader of the Beornings, and I hoped my travels would lead me back to him one day.  
There were eight of us, carefully navigating the stone bridge over the Anduin, buried as it was beneath the snow. The sun came up over the forest as we approached it, passing through the Elven gate. The path we needed to be on was dangerous to get to, as all the thick tree roots were hidden in a blanket of white, but it did not slow the king. He charged ahead, leading the way for us, and before long we were taking a safer route for the horses. I watched the king as I rode between Sarnor and Celebrenor, watched the golden river of his hair as it flowed out of the back of his helmet and down his back, watched his frame, even larger and more imposing swathed in armor as it was, rocking in the saddle when we slowed, and then crouching down as we picked up speed through the woods. The snow created a sound barrier, and it was eerily quiet as we trampled through. I tried focusing on the path ahead, distracted as I was already by Thranduil, but I couldn't stop looking up, wondering where the horrid arachnids were.  
We weren't ten miles in when Thranduil started shouting, bringing us all to a halt. He was off his horse and going off the path, and one by one we followed, Calenor beside him.  
"Boe gi chent..." { do you see this...} Calenor pointed to a tree in the distance with a white handprint on it, and as we got closer, we could see more handprints here and there on other trees. I gasped when I spied one nearby in crusted blood. Thranduil pulled his helmet off and immediately approached it, his nostrils flaring.  
"Not orc."  
Two words the king spoke in a deepened rasp. Shivers ran down my spine, and I knew terror. It was one of ours, the only explanation. Calenor and Thranduil shared a look, and then the king turned towards me, his eyes hollow.  
"We mustn't tarry. Time is short."  
We walked now, leading our horses as we followed the markings on the trees. It was treacherous at best, the tree roots, fallen branches and various holes and rocks buried under the snow posed a very real danger, but only for me. The Eldar had an uncanny knack for walking on snow. I stumbled a few times, finally getting a pointed stare from the king.  
"Come now, Cael. Use your senses."  
My cheeks flushed with shame, but it was the only reaction I showed. I would not allow Thranduil to embarrass me.  
It was an hour or so before the markings stopped, but I could discern a clatter in the air. Thranduil brought the company to a halt, and we stood in the midst of the trees, listening.  
"Orcs," Calenor whispered, only to me it seemed. I could smell something burning, and panic rose in my chest. Carefully, quietly we made our way towards the noise. In the distance was a group of rocks, part of a hill that had broken and partially washed away. That was where I spied one, dark and oily, covered in armor, the white painted hand on his helmet. I hadn't heard him come towards me at all, but suddenly Thranduil was standing beside me, looking quite concerned behind the visor of his helmet. He took my arm in his gloved hand in a kind of embrace.  
"Go-vethathof ne ndagor?" {Will you join me in battle?} His whisper was like the wind through the trees. Another shiver made me involuntarily spasm.  
"Join you in battle? My lord, I would follow you to the ends of Ea."  
At a small clearing, tied the horses to trees and left them to better make our way towards the orc camp. They had set up a crude shelter amidst the rocks, and it served as a kind of cave for the wretched creatures. Smoke poured from between the rocks, and it smelled of charred flesh. In my heart, I feared the worst, but I joined my company, copying their movements and silently drawing my sword.  
"Os-veno din," Thranduil whispered. {Go around them.} And then he turned to stand in front of me. "Cael...be careful."  
I nodded, looking into those deep ethereal eyes. "Death to the enemy."  
Thranduil just stared at me, as if he wanted to kiss me. I pulled my helmet down a little tighter and raised my sword, and I saw his eyes smile at me.  
Thannor was the one to draw first blood. Silent as the grave, he stepped lightly on the snow, and an orc popped out from between two giant boulders. Before he had time to scream for help, Thannor clapped his hand over its mouth and slit its throat. We were finally sighted just a mere few feet from the camp. Thranduil roared with rage as he attacked the swarm that rushed us, and for a brief moment I forgot where I was or what I was supposed to do- I had never seen such a display of grace and power. The blades were an extension of his body, and the orcs were no match for the king as he became a death machine, lopping heads and limbs off, slashing throats, all in a swift graceful dance.  
"Cael!" Calenor was suddenly at my side and pushed me away as an orc swung his sword behind me. It whistled in the air over my head, and as I stumbled forward, Calenor had his sword buried deep in the orc's chest. I in turn defended Calenor as he struggled to free himself from the dying orc- his sword was trapped in between its ribs, and more orcs were coming for us. I drove my blade into one as it charged us, and then I turned and thrusted into another one that would have attacked from behind. Calenor used his foot to shove the dead body off his blade, and we fought back to back, trying not to gag from the stench of orc blood as it splattered all over us.  
"Dago in yrch!" Egnasson was standing on a boulder, his sword raised in the air as he screamed for us to kill the orcs. The wave of orcs intensified, and the longer I fought the more numb I became, until it felt as if I were outside myself, watching the skirmish through a window, and my body moved in slow motion, cutting, stabbing, thrusting.  
Deeper we pushed, until we were practically in the middle of their camp. I could see what was burning now, and I screamed under my helmet- Duvaindir's remains were a charred mess, his helmet and armor melted to his flesh. I could only thank the Valar that he had already passed before they set him on fire. I found a rough-looking blanket nearby and threw it over the smoking corpse, and that was when I heard another scream, this one male and full of rage.  
Thranduil stood over the slumped over bodies of Maethon and Daeben, tied to a post by a raging fire. The army was finishing off the last of the orcs, and I looked for something to put the fire out. As I poured a skin of water over the flames, Thranduil tore his helmet off and knelt before the elves. They were both passed out, possibly dead, their ears cut off, their faces bloody pulps, their hair burnt off...  
"Cael...take Calenor...bring the horses." Thranduil did not look up at me, but I could see the tears as they fell from his cheeks.  
Calenor shook his head slowly as we walked. "This is not good. Greenwood has gone many ages without such atrocities...Maethon and Daeben are so terribly hurt. I only hope they survive."  
"Why? Why would they do such things?" Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I took my helmet off to wipe them away. Calenor took his off, too. His hand was on my shoulder, though I could not feel it through the armor.  
"They hate us, Cael. Some of them were once elves, but they were tortured and twisted until they became slaves of the Dark One."  
We gathered the horses and started making our way back. In a daze I helped build makeshift litters to carry the hurt elves back home. And then we had to do something about Duvaindir's body...Calenor unrolled a tent from the pack on his horse, and we carefully collected the remains and wrapped them. Meanwhile, Thranduil was helping the others drag the orc bodies out of the way and into a pile. His helmet was still off, his platinum hair somehow perfect, his face a mask of rage, his eyes so light blue they looked white. His only words were gruff orders in Sindarin as he delegated to the others, and he never once looked at me. I was grateful- his eyes terrified me. His wrath was at its peak, and my first instinct was to cower.  
Calenor called Sarnor over, and together we carefully placed the litters beneath the still-unconscious elves. Maethon and Daeben did not look anything like themselves. They looked like bloody, burned pulps, and I tried so hard to contain my tears. Their moans of pain tore at my soul, and I sobbed silently as I prayed for their comfort.  
"Natho nin...dago nin..." Maethon cried in a broken voice, spasming in a paroxysm of pain as Sarnor and Calenor lifted the litter.  
Help me, kill me.  
No one could hide the sorrow we all felt. Thranduil had a tear-stained face as he approached me slowly, leading my horse behind him.  
"You will ride home with Thannor. You must hurry-"  
"But, my lord, you cannot stay behind, what-"  
"Listen to me, Cael. We must carry the injured on foot. You will send a party after us. Ryvvik will see to it. Go now!"  
I tightened my jaw with the argument I wanted to have, but I was out in the open with the army staring at me. I couldn't fight with him, not here, not now. Thannor was already on his horse, and Thranduil nodded at me.  
"Go," he whispered. I had no choice.


	17. Dagor Bronad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Surviving War'  
> I wanted to acknowledge that without Hisweloke : http://www.jrrvf.com/hisweloke/sindar/  
> and Real Elvish : http://realelvish.net/  
> I would be lost.  
> And of course, there's all of you still reading this and putting up with me. Thank you so much for the reviews and kudos. It gives me LIFE!!! XOXOXO

Thannor and I galloped through the snow, hoping the horses hooves wouldn't snag in anything, but rushing all the same. We didn't have time for anything less. The last thing I had seen before we left was Thranduil lighting the pile of dead orcs on fire as the other elves picked up the litters to start their walk.  
"Faster Cael! We must hurry!" Thannor charged ahead of me and I gave chase, dashing between trees on an invisible path he seemed to know was there, and we were a dark blur through the forest. The sun was bright as it shone through the trees on its way upwards, and there were a few times I was blinded, either by the sunlight itself, or the glare of it when it hit the snow. As we rode, the air warmed, and the snow began to turn to slush. Soon I could see the path we were on, and I felt my confidence rise. With a snap of my reins I charged ahead of Thannor, and now he was chasing me. The reality of the army behind us carrying the injured and dead reinvigorated my panic. And as of yet we had not stumbled upon Etayrion and his host.  
Another hour and Thannor yelled from behind me to stop and let the horses drink. We stopped at a stream, but Thannor shook his head. As he dismounted he produced a water skin and a strange looking leather bag.  
"The water here is tainted. The horses will sicken and die." He held the bag open and nodded for me to pour the water into it.  
"Why is it tainted, Thannor? What happened here?"  
The elf looked at me with inscrutable green eyes. "The Necromancer. He routed us from our stronghold in Amon Lanc. You will hear others speak of it as Dol Guldur, but it was ours first. My father and his father were born there. Oropher united our people with his, and others that came seeking solace. But Sauron came and destroyed our homes, killed our people. We had to flee to the north, and then King Thranduil took us even farther north after the last great war. We have remained in the caves ever since then."  
I stared at this beautiful wood elf as we moved to water my horse and then his. His dark hair glistened red fire in the dappled sunlight, and his lithe frame stepped gracefully around me as I held the bag for the horses. He whispered to the animals, calming them, easing them, so we could soon resume the mad pace back to the halls of the Woodland Realm. As we moved in silence, my mind brimmed with questions that as of yet had no answer. Who was my mother? My father? What purpose could I serve to anyone without a sure identity? I felt lost as I watched Thannor. We were kin, somehow, though I did not feel it. I was also kin to the skinchangers, and apparently I was kin to Men as well. Where did I fit in all of this? When would I learn?  
"You must concentrate, Cael. You are making the horses nervous." Thannor's slight smile made me blush. "I am sorry, Thannor. I just...wonder sometimes where I am supposed to fit in to all of this."  
He put his hand on my shoulder. "You have fought with us, bled with us. You are a part of us, half-elf or no."  
"Yes, but...you would not have had to fight if it had not been for me in the first place."  
Thannor shook his head. "No, Cael. War is coming. I have seen the signs, as has everyone else. The Eldar are strongly connected to this world and all that is in it. We know things others could not. The spiders, the orc sightings, and the very breath of the forest itself are all signs of impending doom. But fear not." He smiled again, brighter this time. "We are stronger now then we ever were. We will prevail."  
I shook my head with disbelief. We were mounting our horses again. We had wasted time enough.

The Woodland Army was in full battle. Thannor and I rushed headlong in between the golden shields of the Eldar and crude weapons of the orcs as they clashed right outside the bridge that led into the halls. We split skulls and swung heads off, and then we were off our horses and diving in to the fray. Fighting was becoming a natural reaction in me now, my fear had subsided and I felt lodged in a strange state somewhere between fear and peace as I charged and spun, my sword in one hand and a dagger in the other. I had black blood crusted all over my armor, and the stink woke my rage as I fought beside the army, crushing the orcs into retreat. The Woodland Army cheered as the remaining orcs ran off into the woods, and we gave chase.  
"Cael!" Ryvvik was at my side, shield and breastplate awash with clots of black meat and blood. "Where is the king?" His voice was sharp and breathless.  
"He is on foot twenty miles out on the elf path. He is carrying the injured and dead. You must gather a party and meet him fast as you can."  
Ryvvik's sky blue eyes burned into me through the visor of his helmet. "Why do you return to us with this news? Why are you not assisting?"  
"The king sent Thannor with me to bring you the news and ask for your assistance. Is it so hard to believe?" I followed behind him as he broke into a jog to catch up with the army on the hunt for orcs.  
"Do not even consider removing your armor when this is over. You will join me when we leave." And he was running into the woods at top speed, leaving me even further irritated and desperate. I went after him, yelling at the top of my lungs.  
"Don't you think we should leave right now?!?"  
Ryvvik stopped short though he was well ahead of me, and turning, fixed me with his best stare. "You have no right to suggest anything to me! We will leave when we are done routing this infestation! Do you want them to come back with reinforcements?" And he was running off again. I cursed under my breath and ran into the woods after the enemy too.

Deep in the woods we went, back on the elven path. I was totally exhausted now. We had killed every single orc we found, and now we were on the way to find Thranduil. Behind us was a bulky wagon that I was sure would be stuck in slush and tree roots soon, but it did not matter. We had to try.  
Ryvvik was his irritated arrogant self, and I continued to ignore him. It was difficult, but I knew that until I proved myself worthy I would never please him. And I truly wasn't concerned with any of that at the moment. I could not handle a lesser Thranduil along with the real one. Eventually Ryvvik would have to give up and give in, since there was nothing more I could do to please him. I don't know when I had started trying to win his respect, but I was stopping now.  
I could hear the shouts and screams before we rode up on the source of it- another battle, the few elves against a black tide of murderous orcs, Thranduil moving like water in the middle, the whistling sounds of his sweeping swords cutting through the roars and screams and clatter of battle. Watching him holding his own against four orcs, I felt a rage boiling up inside me. I was reinvigorated with a tide of anger, and I leaped off my horse as it continued to charge with Ryvvik and the rest of the company, and I somehow landed on my feet. It was as if everything was in slow motion, and I felt everything spinning as a shock of intense pain rippled through me. I was on the ground, and then I was up again, and it took a second for me to realize that I had shifted. I immediately charged, but a howl tore from me when the armor I forgot I had been wearing didn't shed as my clothes had, and snagged. It dug into my shoulder and sliced through fur and skin. A gush of blood ran like warm swamp water down my front limb, but I rushed forward anyway, dragging the armor with me for a while, long enough to make me growl and yip in pain until I shook it off. Though I limped on my foreleg I still charged, filled with adrenaline and determination. I slipped in between the army and the orcs, tearing at their legs as I went, sending as many orcs to the ground as I could. The blood was like poison in my mouth, and my saliva slathered until it became a blackened foam around my mouth. I rushed headlong into the fray my king was in, and I jumped onto the first orc I could, tearing its throat out with my teeth. That was the beginning of the end.   
"Cael!" Thranduil's voice was the sound of thunder. I was on my feet again as the orc I had attacked fell to the ground, drowning in blood I spun in a half turn and found myself running into another orc, his sword thrusting forward to cleave me in half. I leapt up to climb my attacker, and his scream turned into a gurgle as I ripped out his windpipe. I looked to make sure Thranduil was as well as he could be, locked in battle again. I charged into another crowd of orcs that were clashing with the Greenwood host, and tore at calves and thighs, taking them down to the ground for the elves to finish them off. My head was woozy, and I found myself leaning as I ran, in a futile attempt of easing the stabbing burning pain in my forelimb.The orcs seemed an endless number, but I didn't stop, couldn't and wouldn't stop. Even as they charged me, tried to stab and cleave me, I dodged them and then attacked. I was getting faint, and my vision darkened. But I refused to fall. I stopped only to retch- too much orc blood had found its way into my stomach. The smell of all the blood must have called the spiders, and soon we were fighting them too- it was the only time the elves and orcs stopped fighting each other. An orc I was lunging for fell before I could attack- a spider had nailed it instead. If there was ever a time to be thankful for the vicious arachnids, it was then. The elves were far too keen and quick for them, and before long the only ones standing were the Eldar.  
I lay in the bloody slush, my breath a shallow whistle, nearly blind. I felt out of my body, almost above it all. I watched Calenor carefully pick me up and take me to the king, who stood helmless and covered in black muck, his face a mask of panic. And then everything blurred and went dark.   
************************************************  
"My lord...she has lost far too much blood." The female voice was lilting and melodic, soothing like a velvet glove on the worried wrinkles of my brain. "We have done all we can."  
"And now? Now what?" Thranduil's voice was a sharp tear of panic in the still of the room.  
"Now, we wait." A male voice this time, gruff but gentle.   
"You cannot mean to do this to me a second time. If this is a curse upon me, it must needs lifted! I will not lose another..." A silent huff of a sob. "Please...my lord and lady. I beseech you...do not leave me alone without my other half. I will not endure it a second time."  
The fluid Sindarin was not misunderstood. The king was near, and his heart was breaking. I tried to speak, but my mouth was leaden. My arms, legs and eyelids were useless. I screamed inwardly in frustration, but no one heard.  
"My lord Thranduil, you must trust in the Valar. They hear you, they see everything. All will be well. Your little wolf has a mighty heart, and her soul fights even now. You must fight with her." The female voice was enough to still me, and listening to her words I felt a wave of reassurance wash through my soul.  
"Don't you see...I am. I wish to help heal her-"  
"No." The gruff male voice again. "You musn't. You cannot. You will die."  
"Do you think I care? Another millennia alone-"  
"Thranduil. Listen to yourself. Without you as king, the Sindar and Silvan would be leaderless, disjointed and alone. Would you forsake a kingdom for one person?"  
"My lord Elrond, do not ask a grieving heart such a thing. Imagine yourself in his position. "  
"Ridiculous. She has power beyond comprehension. She will rise again. She does not need you to sacrifice yourself, only to awaken alone without her husband."  
Thranduil coughed his tears out, and his voice took on the familiar sharp, icy tone. "I do not need your dismissive commentary, Lord Elrond."  
"Thranduil Oropherion, we are trying to bring you to your senses." The female voice, again like the velvet glove smoothing my harried mind. "Please, stay with me a while."  
The silence was deafening. "As you wish, Lady of the Light."  
"Lord Elrond, if you don't mind..."  
"Ridiculous," came the terse breathy response, and the sound of a door hastily opening and closing heralded a long silence. I imagined Thranduil and this Lady of Light sitting close by, being mystical together. I felt aggravated by my inability to communicate, trapped in a dead weight body. Why couldn't I move, even a little?  
"Will she awaken?" Thranduil's usually strong voice had eroded into a gravelly whisper. He sounded choked with grief. "Please tell me, Galadriel."  
"She is weakened from the loss of blood. She is sick from the orc blood she swallowed. She was able to expel most of it, but what stayed behind has not helped her condition. She needs more than kingsfoil, and Lord Elrond and I did everything we could past that. It is up to her now."  
"Yes...and she is a fighter. She has survived things most could never endure."  
"With your help, of course, Lord Thranduil. And even without it I have no doubt she will fully recover. But you must give her time. Please do not take any action that would jeopardize your life. She would not ever recover from losing you, of that I am truly sure."  
"I cannot make any promises, but I will keep my kingdom in front of me to keep me from falling apart. She has taken my heart. I had forgotten I had one to begin with."  
"She yearns to be with you, my lord. I can feel it. She will come back to you. But you must let her spend some time with me in Lórien. She has much to learn, as she straddles the worlds between man, elf and skinchanger. She needs lessons and guidance if she wishes to join her fate to that of the Eldar."  
"I do not know if that is what she wants. With all the fighting and traveling she has not had time to absorb any of the lessons given."  
"She has learned to shapeshift. That was one of her most important lessons. And now she must find herself, remember her past. Her body changed drastically to avoid the final blow of the enemy to make her a weapon. She changed shape...it has never been done. I counseled with Mithrandir after he left your halls, and not even he could answer the mystery that is your shadow wolf. She altered the fabric of her very being to survive. She can withstand far more than we give her credit for."  
"Her power is ironclad. Her will is great. I know she can pull though this, it is just my selfish desire for her that tears at my heart. I have only just found her. I will not let her go easily."  
"And so you must find faith. The Enemy seeks her, but he knows she is lost to him. War will be upon us soon, and I wish for her to make her choice before war tears Middle Earth apart. It is coming, my lord."  
There was another long silence, and then a sharp intake of breath. "One step at a time, Lady of Light. She must heal and return to me first. I want my wife at my side, as it should be."  
"Of course, my dearest Thranduil. I would not want to take her from you. I only wish to help."  
"Will you please give me some time with her?"  
"As long as you promise not to do anything that would bring harm to yourself. She is healing, it is only a matter of time. Be patient."  
The door opened and closed again, and the silence that filled the room was deafening. I tried to move, to talk. Still nothing but pain and motionlessness.  
The king had come near and was very close now, I could feel him, feel his cool aura, the soft glow of the stars in the night sky, the rush of rivers, the wind in the trees. Beauty and wonder.  
"Come back to me, Cael." He spoke in the tongue of man, maybe hoping I would hear him and understand him better. "Heal and come home to me."  
I stilled my mind, tried to focus. He hummed a melody I knew was his healing song, soothing and sweet. I focused on my throat, my voice box, and my mouth. As his voice grew louder, my throat worked and my tongue pulsed. I let go of all thought and let his voice vibrate through me, and my lips trembled. I coughed and sputtered, sending shearing pain through my shoulder, and his hand held something fast to my collarbone. I heard my own cry of pain and did not recognize it as my voice.  
"My love..." Back in Sindarin now. "Please come back to me..." Thanduil's voice was a desperate whisper. Someone was knocking on the door now, and through my coughing fit, I heard someone gasp. More hands were on me, and I could feel them wiping at my shoulder. It must be bleeding again.  
"Hold her! You, come help her to sit up a little."  
I recognized that voice- Maith! The joy caused me to involuntarily try to talk again, say her name out loud, but it became another coughing fit. The pain in my shoulder and my chest was awful. And then my eyes suddenly opened. Someone gasped again, and then I saw him- my king standing there, scared and desperate, his face puffy from lack of sleep and what looked like crying.  
"Thank the Valar! Cael!" Maith was smiling through her tears. She helped me to drink what tasted like miruvor. I coughed again, and then cried out from the pain in my shoulder.  
"You were hurt when you shifted. A rivet in your armor sliced into your shoulder and collarbone. We tried to sew it shut, but we couldn't close all of it as it is so close to the bone. We did everything we could, but it is an open wound. You lost so much blood...Cael you should be dead." Maith smiled at me, raising the miruvor to my lips again. "You are a miracle."  
I tried to speak but the pain was so intense, I could only weep. The healers had finished propping me up, and I struggled to breathe through it all. My throat was dry and hot, and my voice was a wretched squeak somewhere between a whisper and a scream. I tried to lift my good arm, but it tingled and flopped instead.  
"You have been asleep a long time." Maith's face floated before me in a blurry haze. "My dearest friend. I am so glad you have come back to us."  
"Maith..."  
"I am here, Cael." Her voice sounded tearful as she continued to compress the wound.  
"Missed...you..."  
She laughed through her tears. "You aren't allowed to leave me ever again. I was miserable."  
I blinked slowly, trying to restore moisture back to my painfully sore eyes. "I won't."  
The miruvor was at my lips again. This time I almost felt it. Maith was wrapping my shoulder with fresh bandages. I could feel the weight of the king's stare, and when I tried to focus over Maith's shoulder, his beautiful visage was far clearer this time around. His hair was mussed, his face pale, his eyes so light blue they were almost white. He looked sad and distraught, something I was not at all used to seeing in his expression. I tried to smile, but it was something more like a grimace.  
"There. You are fixed. Clean bandages, and soon you will have some broth and water."  
"Maith." Thranduil's voice was startlingly deep and commanding, echoing in the small room. "Please. Leave us for a time."  
"Of course, my lord." Maith was up and off the bed, and the door opened.  
"Maith?" Thranduil stopped her before she exited. "Thank you for caring for her as you have. I know your constant attention and care directly contributed to her recovery. You are valued and appreciated."  
Maith froze in the doorway, her face crumbling with shock. "Thank you, my lord. I love Cael. I would do anything for her." And she was gone, the door shushing closed behind her.  
Thranduil sat in the same spot where Maith had been. He took my hand in his, cradling it gently so as not to disturb my bandaged shoulder. His expression was a mixture of relief and concern. I licked my cracked tight lips and smiled, and the ghost of a smile shadowed his face.  
"You gave me quite a scare. You almost bled to death, you know." He leaned forward, and I took in a deep breath as he kissed my forehead- my nose was filled with the rich scent of woods and spice. I could smell his skin, and his hair tickled my nose. "You are not allowed to leave me." He pressed his forehead to mine, and I could smell wine on his sweetened breath.   
"No. Never." Those two words were near agony for me to utter. I needed more fluids.  
"I have not left your side, not to eat or rest. Not these long six days you lay here on your deathbed."  
I squeezed his hand as tightly as I could. It was like butterfly wings trembling against his flesh. I rolled my eyes in frustration. "Up...want up."  
Thranduil drew back with a real smile. "Soon. You must finish this. You tried to contract an infection, but Maith and all her skills saved you. And so you slept as you fought off fever and blood loss. If there is anything that speaks to the blood of the Noldor you bear, it is your ceaseless refusal to die." He kissed my forehead again, and lingered there so his throat was in my face as it worked to supress a sob. "You cannot keep doing this to me, Cael, Queen of Greenwood."  
My mouth dropped open at the sound of the title, unfitting to my ears. I kissed his throat, drew in another deep breath. His presence gave me strength. I felt the hot tears on my hair as they slid down his cheeks. I wanted so badly to embrace him, but was far too weak for all of that.   
"Don't you dare leave me alone to face this world without you. It is forbidden." His last words were a strangled whisper as he choked back another sob. "I am overjoyed with your recovery. Now you must rest and regain your strength. We have much to do, shadow wolf."  
"My lord." I was exhausted, and my head was falling back on the pillows. As much as I wanted to stay with him, I was leaving again. His beautiful visage wavered and blurred as I helplessly drifted away.  
******************************************************  
The night was dark and cold, and my legs were tired from running. I stumbled and fell, tearing my breeches open at the knee. Nowhere felt safe, and when I stopped to catch my breath, It fell upon me, The Eye, swallowing me in the wreaths of flame.  
"I WILL FIND YOU...AND BRING YOU YOUR DEATH...YOU ARE MINE!"  
I choked and burned in the fire, and death awaited me there in flames so hot they were white. My scream was soundless as my hair swirled in a tornado of flames around my melting face. I was dying and burning and dying and burning....  
*********************************************************  
"Cael!" Maith was shaking me awake. Another nightmare. I could not escape the void. Sleep for me was a trap I fell into over and over. I still had trouble keeping track of the days, but Maith told me it had been twelve days of bedridden misery. I had to force myself to eat, and I was gaining strength. My frustration was turning to a seething rage.  
"Help me!" I fought against her and swung my legs over the side of the bed. As I sat up my head reeled, and I struggled to regain control of myself.  
"Cael, please. You musn't!"  
I let go of my head and blinked my vision back to its rightful state. "But I will." I stood and almost fell. The pain radiated upwards into my torso, vibrating through the still healing gash on my shoulder. I swooned, but stayed on my feet. Maith was there, her hand on my elbow to steady me.  
"The king will kill me if he should see you like this," she muttered.  
"Let him see me. I am just as stubborn as he is." I took one step, then another, wincing from the pain that radiated through my upper body. I was determined, though. I kept walking, slowly, deliberately. "When will this end?"  
"Lord Elrond thinks the silver hurt you in your changed state. That may be the reason why it refuses to heal."  
"Silver is damaging to wolves?"  
"It is just a theory."  
I shook my head slowly. "I was covered in the blood of orc and spider as well as my own. It could also be that mixed on my wound and hurt me further."  
"Also a theory."  
I huffed out a breath and made my way to the door. We walked out together and into the dark, quiet confines of the king's quarters. His bed was perfectly made, and a lone lamp illuminated his desk, where more books and scrolls lay in messy piles, a picture of Thranduil's sleepless nights as he waited for me to come back to him in my full strength.   
"I cannot remain in that bed for one more day. What news of the outside?"  
"None so far. The forest is quiet. Too quiet. Patrols are uninterrupted, as if even the spiders have deserted the trees."  
"They will never leave. Not until the enemy is brought to heel and the king can reclaim his forest."  
Maith sighed. "I could only hope for that."  
"One day, it will happen. I know it. I feel it." And I did. It was not some meaningless empty comfort that I attempted to give Maith. I felt that one day, Thranduil would have his forest back. It would be made whole again, all the wickedness cast from it, and the life and vigor of Greenwood would be made whole and pure again.  
The king's throne room was empty. I imagined supper was being served, as the delectable smells of food wafted through the cave.  
"You cannot mean to join the dining hall in your nightgown, Cael."  
"No. I just wanted to walk."  
"The narrow passages can be treacherous. You are not taking them. We will go around."  
I smiled as I tread carefully on bare feet beside my dear friend. "We shall see."  
"If you are patient, I can go to the kitchen and fetch us food. We can bundle up and eat together in the gardens."  
I nodded. "That sounds like a fine idea."  
And so we found ourselves as close to the dining hall as we would dare. Maith crept in the back door to the kitchen as I leaned against the porous limestone nearby. She reemerged with a small handbasket full of wonderful smelling delights, and we made our way back to the king's quarters to find me some suitable outside wear.  
"You do realize these are your quarters as much as his now, yes?" Maith was blushing as she smirked.  
"I suppose you are right!" I giggled a little.  
"The king made an announcement when he returned. Did I not tell you?"  
"No..." A cold chill chased over my skin and shimmied down my spine.  
"He did not tell you either, seems. He announced your betrothal to the kingdom, and commanded we respect you and call you our Queen."  
I almost threw up. Anxiety ran my blood cold. "No..."  
"Yes! The realm was overjoyed. Well, most of us."  
"Eru help me," I whispered. Thankfully we were back in the king's chambers. I slowly sunk into a sitting position on the edge of his bed.  
"Ryvvik was enraged. He stalked off and spent two days camped in the woods. But the rest of us were cheering, and we danced and drank all night." Maith shook her head with a smile. "I can tell you we suffered greatly the next day for our revelry. The king did not join in the festivities, however. He stayed by your side the entire time."  
I could not believe what I was hearing. Now what? I wasn't ready for it, even though I knew it was an eventual reality I would have to face. I wasn't ready to be queen of anything. How could he throw our secret to the wind in such a way? I could have died from my injury, and then the kingdom would have had to bury another member of royalty. The thought of such a title filled me with a kind of horror. I was an outsider. I still felt it, in every bone of my body. And of top of that, I did not belong, not with the elves, men, or skinchangers. I did not know if I would ever find my place. The only times I felt whole and intact were with Thranduil, no matter what we were doing.  
Maith stood still, wringing her hands as she watched me. She looked terrified. I held a hand out to her and gestured for her to sit on the bed beside me.  
"I am sorry, I thought...you married in secret, I know. I did not mean to upset you, my friend! My queen..."  
"Stop that!" I yelled before I could stop myself, and immediately regretted it as Maith recoiled. "I am sorry, Maith...my dearest friend. I am not ready for the title and all that comes with it...I am terrified! I know nothing of being royalty, a ruler...I am the interloper!"  
Maith shook her head. "No. You are one of us. You are a little different, yes, but...Silvan elves are warriors. They respect skill and courage, which you have displayed, and more. Sindar elves are more worldly than us, but we are all of the same mind, as our realm needs unification to survive. Your story is known amongst us, and we have all accepted you as our Queen."  
I wanted to vomit. It was too much. I stood suddenly, and immediately regretted it. I stumbled a bit, then caught myself. Maith was up, grasping my arm to steady me.  
"I am not ready, Maith. I still have so much to do. I still have so much to prove! Why, why did he say anything? Why now?"  
Maith shrugged. "The king knows his people. He knows his kingdom. It would be folly to attempt to conceal your marriage. Hiding it would undo it, and ultimately estrange the realm. We are so pleased he has found a mate. The king was without a queen when he ascended the throne, only little Legolas kept him company. And then he left, too..." Maith trailed off, her eyes misty. "There was no elf maid that was not a little in love with Legolas. He is brave, strong, fearless, thoughtful and kind. Much like his father, though kind is not a word I would use for the king. Distant and detached, perhaps, but..." Maith looked at me again with a sweet smile. "You know him unlike anyone else does, Cael. Would you ever tell me about him? Nothing about your personal time with him, I mean...just maybe things I would be shocked to hear? I know the king's heart has blossomed with your touch. All the kingdom has seen it."  
I reached for a cloak that hung from a hook on the stone wall. My boots were easy to slip into, and Maith helped me into the cloak. I was quiet as I concentrated on my walking. Maith was nervous- I knew she worried she had said too much or asked for something considered improper.  
We were almost to the memorial gardens, when I smiled with a thought.  
"Thranduil is gentle and loving, as imperious and distant as he may seem. His ego bruises easily, and he has a generous heart."  
Maith smiled at me. "I could see that."  
"He is guarded, but affectionate. His passions are strong."  
Maith giggled at that. We walked past the armored sentries, and into the cold night air. The snow that had fallen the morning we left the Carrock was gone, replaced with frosted ground and retreating grass. The fresh air was invigorating, the crisp smells of the coming winter abound. We found the bench I had sat on with Thranduil the night before our "wedding", and sat on it under the light of a waxing moon. Maith unpacked her basket- fruit, cheese, bread, a skin of wine, and some sort of spiced meat. It smelled like heaven. We ate in the stillness, though I stopped early. My belly had shrunk to the size of a robin's egg from my near-death experience, and after a few bites I was more than full. Maith finished everything for me, and then we sat passing the wine skin, watching the clouds split the moon into slices of golden yellow light. I felt alive again, at ease back in the Halls of the Woodland Realm. I was back, and it felt good.  
"Maith, I just want you to know how much I love you, and how much I missed you. You need never fear to ask me anything, or share your thoughts with me. I do not want any title to ever come between our friendship." I looked away from the sky and at her, and saw the tears standing in her eyes.  
"Cael...that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. Never in my life did I dream of someone like you in my life, much less calling me friend."  
"I owe you my life! Were it not for you, I would still be dead!"  
"No, Cael. The king was the one who saved you. He restored you with his own power, something I could have never done."  
"Yes...but you stayed by my side, no matter what it cost you. I could never thank you enough. And I want you to always keep in mind that we are friends first, no matter what happens."  
Maith took my hand and blessed me in Sindarin. I laughed.  
"Thank you, Maith. Bless you too. I have already been blessed. My family is here in the Woodland Realm, and I am alive and well to be with them."


	18. Elysium

Maith and I returned inside. The night air became far too frosty for my thin skin. As usual, I relentlessly begged her to allow me in to see Maethon and Daeben. They had been fighting for their lives in the Halls of Healing, and I had not been allowed in once to visit. Maith spent a lot of time there, and she would only tell me they were improving. That could mean anything, considering how bad their condition was when they were brought in.   
"Cael, I know why you ask, and if I thought you could stand it I would take you to them. We healers feel helpless, you would feel it far worse, and then it would only serve to compound the guilt I know you carry already."  
"You do realize I am well enough to go there myself now."  
Maith stared at me, her grey eyes firing. "You wouldn't! You can't. Cael, listen to me-"  
"I have been at death's door far too many times. I can survive the sight of my former companions. Please, Maith." I took her arm gently, pleading her with every ounce of my being. "Take me to them."  
She looked down at my slippered feet, silent. Finally, she looked up with a pained smile. "As you wish. Come with me, and please be careful."  
We took the long way in to the Halls of Healing. All such familiar sights, sounds and smells...it felt like ages since I had been here myself. So much had happened since then. It was hard to imagine I had once been laying here with a near-fatal spider bite and waiting for death, as we passed open culverts, where the healers could be seen treating various elves- a small elfling with a broken arm, a young member of the army with an arrow through his leg...and finally at the very back was a set of heavy wooden doors. Maith turned to me as she put her hand on the handle, but did not turn it.  
"Please brace yourself, Cael. This will not be easy to bear."  
She turned the handle and we entered a brightly lit room, two beds inside. Edhellon, Maerwen and Thenidiel were tending to Maethon and Daeben, and as the healers moved aside, I supressed a gasp. The bodies were uncovered, with only light bandages on some parts that were still bloody. Hairless, red and blistered- the ellons looked nothing like their former selves.   
The healers went to one knee as I approached, and the confusion quickly cleared my mind when I realized they were kneeling to me.  
"No. Rise." I watched the elleths as they stood up straight. "Tell me how they fare."  
Edhellon spoke first. She was Maith's sister, and they looked remarkably alike. "They are healing, but it is taking a very long time. We keep them in a sleep state with elixir of the poppy so they cannot scratch their skin as it reforms. They may never be able to see or hear again."  
"May I?" I took a step forward and Maith took my hand. We walked together to the beds, and the tears rose in my eyes. I tried to be strong, and already I was failing.  
Maith and I stood over Daeben- though his face was horribly burned I could make out his high cheekbones and prominent browbones. Poor Maethon, with his face almost completely swathed in light bandages. I could hear his breathless whimpering as he slept. I wanted to care for them, sing to them and nurse them back to health. I was responsible for this. The anger and misery swelled in my gut, and I coughed out a sob. Maith's hand squeezed mine, and through my tears I could see she was crying too.  
"Please forgive me, my brothers..." My voice was broken but I spoke in Sindarin through my tears. "Come back to us."  
Maethon's hand twitched as I hummed the old song Thranduil had sung to me so many times. It took on a life of its own as it reverberated in my chest, and a golden tide of light blinded me as I openly began to sing it - "Ú i vethed nâ i onnad.....Si boe ú-dhanna.....Ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad......Estelio han, estelio han, estelio, estelio han, estelio veleth.....Esteliach nad, estelio han...Anor valthen, togo laugas lín nestad enin gûr hen....Ceven dhaer, anno vellas lín enin 'raw hen.........Suil Annui, erio thûl lín i faer hen..."  
I could hear a chorus of voices singing with me, and still blinded by the golden light, I continued to sing, imagining skin knitting, hair growing back, ears reforming, eyes clear and seeing. I could feel power growing deep inside me, radiating from my core and stretching outwards, through my entire body, and my hands and feet burned as the energy passed through them and outwards. I was everywhere at once, and nowhere. The feeling was indescribable, but I knew I had one hand on Maethon and one on Daeben- I could feel the tight delicate skin against my palm, and as I sang out loud I could hear screams. No idea who it was or why, but I had no intention of stopping. Energy flowed and grew stronger, and I couldn't feel my own body, my feet on the floor, and my eyes were blind. A voice that came from my throat but did not sound like me sang still, a melodic chanting in Sindarin. Light so bright, warm and strong, and then I was no more.  
*************************************************************************  
"Muin nín." Thranduil's voice was unmistakable. I forced my eyes open, and found myself in his bedchamber. He sat beside me, his hair pushed to one side, and the candlelight from the bedside table caught the angles and planes of his face in total perfection as they were. I smiled, moving my fingers and toes and then finally my body. I was sleepy and simply happy to see the king, satisfied to finally be in his bed again, and filled with a sense of well-being. I could see his bare chest in shadow beneath his robe, and besides that and his leggings he was bare, without crown or circlet as well. My heart sped up as I gazed into his face, and I could feel a different energy rising from deep within me now, reaching out for him, wanting him.  
But Thranduil's expression was overcast with concern. I tried to sit up, and with one hand he kept me down.   
"Thranduil?"  
"Cael...I...find myself speechless." His eyes welled with tears. "You healed them."  
Now I sat up, and this time he did nothing to stop me. "What?"  
He shook his head. "You must remember. You did it. I wish I had been there to see it as it happened, but I was in a council meeting...how? How did you do it, muin nin?" His ice blue eyes stared at me in disbelief. "Tell me what happened!"  
I clutched the blanket to my chest- my clothes were gone. I felt confused and unsure as I scanned his face. "I was singing. I know that song you have always sung me...and I just sang it...I could feel the energy rising in me, and as it did, I imagined them healing, their ears and hair and eyes, their skin and organs-"  
"Yes, Cael. And you succeeded." Thranduil took my hand, and I stared at him in shock. Tears fell down his cheeks, and I threw myself into his arms, against his strong stony frame, and the smell of cedar and oak filled my nose. His hair was soft and thick against my shoulder and back, and I nuzzled my face against his neck. The shiver raced through him, hardening his nipples against my skin. My hunger for him rose sharply, and I did not want to ignore it. I wanted to talk later, but right now I wanted him in the worst way. He shuddered as I nibbled his earlobe with my lips, and my hands were running down the wide planes of his chest and stomach to his lap. I chewed his skin without my teeth, my open hungry mouth gnawing on his jaw, his tender throat, and now that I unlaced the front of his breeches I was tracing the length of him with soft fingertips, teasing him, making him breathless.  
"You...have to stop...I...need to talk...we must speak now..."  
I laughed deep and dark into his hair, pivoting myself upwards until I could sit astride him, and he was inside me to the hilt. He tried to protest, but it was useless, and he knew it. His robe stretched out beneath him like butterfly wings, his hair a wild wave of platinum moonlight around his head. His expression could be seen as one of intense pain, but I knew it was the ecstasy he felt, the blurring of his self-control and stoicism, and the unleashing of his inner self, the one that desperately wanted love, wanted to be touched and adored, and wanted someone to share everything with, including the joy and pleasure of the union we were indulging in now.   
"Oh..." His moan of pleasure was deep and loud, his arms like long pale branches reaching upwards for me, his hands cupping and gently squeezing my breasts, then slipping down to tightly grip my hips so he could grind himself deeper inside me. I could not breathe deep, I could only take in sharp gasps of air- he was enormous inside me, stretching me and burning me, rubbing the insides of my sex, causing me to scream behind tightly pressed lips. I rode him faster, my hips pistoning harder, and sweat poured down my back and chest. His eyes glowed like twin blue moons, his mouth open and gasping. I could see the red flush on his cheeks, and it colored his pale skin all the way down his torso. I was so close now, and my heart was hammering in my throat as I cried his name, my palms flat on his chest as I changed my angle enough to cause my vision to shade into the black.  
"Cael! Cael..." Thranduil flipped me over, and I lost it in a joyous and wet explosion beneath him. He drove me into the mattress hard and fast, his own breathless cries fueling my orgasm further, rocking my brain into a flatline full of color and wonder, and full of him, his body, his voice, and his soul as it spoke to mine. My cry became an animal scream, my nails digging into his buttocks as he thrusted me almost into the headboard, and I was coming again and again. He had found a particular spot inside me, and he knew exactly where it was, and he was driving hard into it, turning me into a puddle of nothingness.  
"Yes, yes..." His voice was thick and dark, choked with passion and an attempt at control. "You will submit yourself to me...give me everything..."  
I locked my legs high on his back, driving myself upwards to bear his endless thrusting, and I clamped down on him inside me and fluttered in tight waves around him, and watched his face crumble.  
"You will submit to me, King of the Woodland Realm...give me your seed...fill me up inside with your love for me..."  
My eyes seared into his, and he faltered as he fell on top of me, writhing with ecstasy, his voice a series of helpless cries and throaty gurgles in my ear. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, and it was like trying to embrace an oak tree, as he came and came inside me. I could hear the ocean itself washing through me, over me, and it was my king, naked and breathless in a weakened collapse atop me.  
"What are you doing to me..." Thranduil's breathless mutter in my ear made me smile. If there was such a thing as heaven, I could certainly believe I was there already. He rested against me, and I was happily pinned beneath him. His hair was a thick flaxen carpet against my skin, and his scent mingled with mine- we were the forest and the rivers, the moon and the stars.   
I kissed his ear. "I love you, Thranduil Oropherion."   
"And I you. But you still have some explaining, my dearest." He turned his head and nuzzled my hair, kissed my temple. "You are stronger than I ever thought possible."  
"How could I have done it? There is no possible way-"  
"But you did. You did. They may not be as they were before, but they are awake and near-healed."  
"May I go see them?"  
Thranduil laughed softly. "Not yet, muin nin. You terrified the other healers. They suspect some kind of witchcraft. Maith was there with you, she can tell you what happened."  
"But...am I in some sort of trouble now? They think I am evil?"  
"No. But something happened there that defies any previous knowledge of elf magic. What you did was unlike anything ever seen before."  
I felt a kind of panic erupt within me. What did happen, and how? I felt myself withdrawing inside myself with the endless questions that filled my mind, but Thranduil was not letting me go anywhere.  
"Cael." His voice, like a call, snapped me back. I looked up into his eyes, and his expression softened. "Stay with me. You are not alone. I am with you."  
My hand was on his cheek, the one I knew bore the burns and scars of the dragon that tried to kill him so long ago.   
"I am scared." My words, whispered though they were, spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. Thranduil kissed my palm, the tips of my fingers.  
"My love...you are full of surprises. Do not worry so...the kingdom is in debt to you for what you did today."  
"I am not even sure what I did, or how." Hot tears ran out the corners of my eyes and into my hair, and he placed his hands on the sides of my head. As he looked down into my eyes, I watched his glow with light. He muttered something in Sindarin, as if in prayer, and then he took his hands back.  
"Open your hand, muin nin."  
I did as he asked, and was shocked when he spilled several tiny white gems into my hand.  
"Your tears are from the wellspring of your soul, Cael, and they reflect the power you contain."  
I was speechless. And then I suddenly was in a forest with him, far away but still within the kingdom, and he was talking to me, singing to me...the ...  
"You.." I squeezed the gems tightly in my palm, staring up at him. "When you healed me...you gave me starlight gems, that you made from my tears. That is what you wanted me to remember."  
Thranduil's smile was warm and sweet, and his love for me radiated from within him and enveloped me like a shroud. The tears in my eyes now were not ones of sorrow, but of joy.  
"Yes, my love."  
"You were with me then, and we spoke..." Memories of the forest, of standing with Thranduil in it as we spoke, and further back, when I was running...running from Sauron, from the White Wizard...after an army of orcs raided our village and killed my father...my mother and I running with our people, far from the flames as our homes burned...and Saruman took us, under the guise of a savior and protector. But it was he who tortured my mother, cut off her ears and burned her hair and face, poured boiling water over her until her skin peeled off, and then his orcs took her down into the dungeon and committed even more horrors upon her...her bloodcurdling screams filled my ears. Strapped to a chair I was, the hot needle in my skin, as Saruman chanted in the Black Speech, and on a column nearby was the palantír, swirling with the hellish flames of The Eye...  
"Help me! Help me..."   
"Cael, Cael....shh, my dearest love...I am here..."  
My mother, in the last moment I had seen her alive, whispered, 'Never give to them your soul, Cael. That belongs only to Eru Ilúvatar, the One above all the thrones of this world. You must fight the darkness, my daughter...' Her body was burned beyond all recognition, yet I saw her spirit shine brightly in her pale grey eyes. 'I see the ship...the white ship that comes to bear me away to the bosom of our Father in Heaven...I will wait for you on the far shore, Cael...but do not follow me so soon, my child.'  
My heart was wrenched from my chest and the sobs tore from my throat. In the sheltered haven of my husband's arms I wept in grief for my beloved mother, all my precious memories of her returning in a tide of bittersweet tears.  
"My sweetest life..." Thranduil murmured in Sindarin, holding me to him as I released the sorrow of ages I had carried for too long on my own. I was inconsolable, but he did his best to help me, singing softly to me and caressing me as I bathed him with the salt of my tears.  
I could not tell of it was day or night in Thranduil's bedchamber. A lone lamp flickered on the desk nearby, and the gems in the ceiling and walls caught the light and shone with a golden brilliance. I looked up at him now, curled in a ball against him as I was, and his gentle smile touched my soul.  
"You are back with me now, yes my love?"  
I tried to smile, but it actually hurt. My eyes were painfully swollen from my crying jag. "Yes, husband. I never left."  
I relaxed back into his embrace, and we stayed there, skin to skin, aglow with the unification of our shared power. I could not imagine a world without my other half in it- I would surely perish without him.  
"I have built you a home in my heart, Cael. You will never be alone again."  
His hair was heavy curtain in my hands as I gathered it to clear his face for me to kiss. He closed his eyes and his lips twitched in a slight smile as I caressed his cheek, and his arms snaked tighter around my ribs. I could feel him stiff against my thigh, and so I arched my hips sideways until he was in between my legs again. His eyes opened enough to gaze into mine as he negotiated the entrance of my body, and I was joined with him, body, mind and soul. As he drove inward, over and over, again and again, I could see the world fall away, and the light of heavenly bodies cast a silver halo around us.  
"My precious love..."  
Thranduil's voice echoed in eternity, in all of everything that was the very universe between and within us. The light grew in brilliance, until it was dazzling, and we were in our bodies no longer. We were as One in the very vault of the heavens, joined in a chorus of voices that had sung the world into existence, singing now as the stars burned and shone, and planets spun on their axes in controlled chaos, mountains rose and fell, oceans flooded and receded, and nothing could ever tear us asunder, there in the heart of Eru Himself.


	19. Baudhlong (Heavy Judgment)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite;  
> To forgive wrongs darker than Death or Night;  
> To defy Power, which seems Omnipotent;  
> To love, and bear; to hope, till Hope creates  
> From its own wreck the thing it contemplates;  
> Neither to change nor falter nor repent;  
> This, like thy glory, Titan! is to be  
> Good, great and joyous, beautiful and free;  
> This is alone Life, Joy, Empire and Victory.-
> 
> Percy Shelley

My fingers ran through Maethon's hair, streaks of silver mixed with jet black. He slept peacefully, his face virtually perfect in deep repose. Beside him Daeben sat in a chair, staring at me with incredulous green eyes. His face was smooth and untouched by hurt, and I could see his puzzlement and astonishment as he gazed at me.  
"How is it you did such a thing?" His voice was a whisper, and his trembling fingers ran down his cheek in wonder. "I can remember what they did to us...I can still feel the fire..." Tears fell from his eyes, but his expression bore no anguish. "It is like a nightmare to me now...as if it never happened at all. My Queen, we owe you so much-"  
"You owe me nothing, Daeben, except the promise that you will enjoy your life to the fullest with your family, and continue to serve in the army. You and Daeben are irreplaceable, and you will be needed soon."  
"Yes, my Queen. The realm is my home and I will continue to defend it with my life."  
Thranduil took a step beside me until he was beside me. "The realm owes you a deep debt of gratitude. I am promoting you and Maethon as captains of your own units. You will have part of the army to train and command. I have no doubt that you will bring me honor in accepting this, and succeeding in it."  
Daeben slowly stood and saluted his King, and then he saluted me as well. I would never get used to this. I gave him a hug instead, and at first he froze, but then relaxed and briefly embraced me in return. Tears were in my eyes when we let go of each other, and then he was on one knee before us, his head bowed.  
"My family and I are honored by the King and Queen of the Woodland Realm. I take the promotion with gratefulness and with the promise of pleasing my monarchs. I am sure Maethon will be honored and grateful when he learns of this upon his awakening."  
"Rise, Captain." Thranduil's voice caused the air to move in the room, as in the way forcefully shutting a door causes a breeze. I looked at my husband and witnessed his power glowing just beneath the surface of his skin, creating a slivery halo around him. Daeben's eyes widened just a little, and then Thranduil smiled. "Rest now, for tonight we dine in your honor. Come to the dining hall tonight, and make sure to bring Maethon with you, so that you and the army will be properly celebrated."  
"Yes, my lord."  
And with that, Thranduil took my arm and led me out of the Halls of Healing. His long silver-green robe hugged his lithe frame that I leaned against as we walked. I was still so weak, and no amount of finery I put on could keep me from showing that I was no Queen- just a very tired person beneath forced front of rigidity.  
"You are going to be a very interesting Queen."  
I looked up at Thranduil and watched a little smile twist his perfect profile. I narrowed my eyes.  
"Interesting in a positive or negative way?"  
Now he turned his head to gaze at me with those unnerving eyes, grey and blue icy starlight. "You are so different from us, Cael. The realm hasn't had a Queen, much less one so talented. But I do urge you to refrain from embracing others. The Eldar are unaccustomed to such...open emotion."  
I followed Thranduil's long strides as best I could, and found myself in a strange march. We were travelling across the caverns now, and before long we were coming to the familiar entrance of the Memorial Gardens. Thranduil was mysteriously silent, as was his wont, and as I burned with curiosity and stole long glances at him, he smirked ever so slightly.  
"You have visitors, my dearest heart." He stopped short at the archway, and gestured for me to continue.  
"But...you are coming. Aren't you?"  
That inscrutable stare, as if a marble statue had been brought to life but knew no other expression than a nonexistent one. "I will join you and our guests soon, muin nin. I have other matters to attend to at the moment."  
I stood stock still, my eyes burning up at him. I covered my fear with anger, and Thranduil could only gently cock his head to the side to watch me.  
"I would be remiss without you, my dearest husband and king. How long are you going to leave me out here?"  
His smile did not warm my heart. It was the growing impatience behind it that was beginning to show through. "I will join you directly, Cael. Please do not keep Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel waiting."  
My stomach sank and my heart sped into a faint shaky rhythm. "Thranduil...no. Not without you...please. I am afraid."  
His wide warm hand was on my cheek, his long fingers spanning over my temple and into my wild curly hair. "I would never abandon you. The safest place you could be is here with me, and the Lord and Lady mean you no harm." He lowered himself to kiss my forehead, and without speaking he whispered, 'Thuia nûr, Cael.'  
"Breathe deep." I repeated it out loud, and Thranduil chuckled softly.  
"Yes."  
I tried to, really I did. But meeting the rulers of Rivendell and Lothlorien terrified me a little. Age, wisdom, and power beyond reckoning. I tried to remember anything my mother could have told me about them, but came up short. I steeled my spine, closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath. When I looked at him again, Thranduil was smiling in that prideful way as only he could. His skin and hair glistened in the lamplight, and his eyes seemed lit from within, and he was breathtakingly beautiful. I opened my mouth to speak, and he silenced me with a gesture.  
"You will speak with them. You must do this. And I shall be along as quickly as I can. Go now...they have waited long enough for this opportunity."  
I took his hand in a sudden gesture and kissed his palm, my lips searing into the soft dry skin there, and then left him with a shudder in his lower spine to join my guests in the garden.  
Lady Galadriel was a sight I very nearly couldn't see. Her glow was like the sun, warm and encompassing. I knew her presence, knew her voice. But to look upon her now filled me with such reverence I went to one knee without even realizing my actions.  
"Come now Cael, Queen of Greenwood..." That voice, smooth and velvety, a living thing on its own, filled my mind. "...you must rise. We are guests in your realm, and you owe us no such displays of fealty."  
I stood slowly, the crisp air leaving a huff of frost around my face as I exhaled on the way up. But the Eldar had no frost outlines from their breath, and I was filled with wonder. Had I missed it watching Thranduil? My mind was already running a million miles a minute, and then I saw Lord Elrond, his dark hair swept back, his circlet a woven wonder of silver, as Lady Galadriel's, but different in pattern and design. They stood near me now, gathering close to peer at me, the Lady aglow with a seraphic smile, and the Lord with his stormy stare.  
"You are the one called Cael, from the long and diminished line of the Noldor." Elrond's voice brought the image of a sword to mind, and I knew it was the energy he was projecting towards me, penetrating the inner chambers of my brain, my heart, my mind. "You yourself are diminished, but that, as Middle Earth itself, is soon to change."  
The different energies from the two elves left me breathless. Silent, ethereal, smothering. It was almost too much to bear, and I staggered before finding my feet again. I had entered another dimension, another world- the Eldar carried their magic wherever they traveled, and these two were far too strong for me to fathom.  
"Your soul is heavy...the past haunts you...and your family is gone. Only you can answer your endless questions, Cael...the truth lives in you."  
Lady Galadriel spoke in another tongue, one I wept at the sound of. The voice of my mother echoed in that tongue, and I understood every word.  
"You must search your heart...it holds the key to the deeper meaning of your existence, Cael of Greenwood. You are much older and wiser than you know."  
Unlike Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond spoke out loud, and as he spoke, it took a moment for me to make the necessary shift in my mind to realize his words were not just in my head.  
"There is a whole wide world out there, Queen Cael. You have yet to know it well, but we come to you now to ask you for your help in defending it. You must join us, and travel to Lothlorien, and then Rivendell afterwards."  
I looked up into Lord Elrond's piercing glare. "You wish to take me from my husband, and from Greenwood, both of which need me now? You ask me to defend a world when I am still learning how to defend a realm?" My own energy leaped in my heart like a flame, and I could feel my face burn in my confusion and irritation. Lady Galadriel's smile was still as serene and benign as before, but this time she spoke out loud.  
"You are as beautiful as you are strong willed, Cael. I can understand why King Thranduil came to love you. And that is why we are here now, to help you understand things as they are, as they were, and as they might be. There lies a power in you of indescribable measure, and you have been gifted with it by Eru Ilúvatar, the King of Kings. There is a purpose for the gift, and for your birth, though it remains unbeknownst to us as of yet. And though I would not attempt to force you in any way to leave your home, I strongly urge you to consider our offer. In the peace and shade of Lord Elrond's Imladris, you will find repose and renewal. In Lothlorien, we will foster and grow your many talents, and I will help you learn to control them, and yourself."  
I was speechless. I shook my head slowly, and took steps to the nearby bench, where I could perhaps clear my mind for a moment, and focus my thoughts.  
"You have learned to shift, Cael. You will soon find there are many other things you can do, things beyond your imagining." Lord Elrond came to sit beside me, and I closed my eyes to stop my tears from falling. "Let us help you."  
I kept my eyes shut tight, and I could hear the whisper of Lady Galadriel's power as it floated around me like a gossamer shroud.  
"...the world is changing...you must change with it..."  
"No!" My voice was a deep bark that I didn't recognize. I looked at the two elves, ancient and powerful, and realized I had just yelled at them. My cheeks flushed with shame. "My Lord and Lady. I have nothing but the utmost respect and appreciation for you both. I know it was not easy coming to my aid as you did. I owe you a debt of gratitude, and I hope to one day to return all the favors you have already done me. But please, understand I cannot leave the Greenwood, not now, not yet. I can feel the world changing, yes, but I also will not leave my husband behind, especially not now when my every sense tells me that though there have been terrible things happening already, we have not even begun to see the worst of it yet."  
Lady Galadriel went to one knee, so she could look me straight in the eyes. "Everything you say is true. Everything you fear, is just the beginning. You must come to us soon, Cael. Your true power is only beginning to awaken. When, one day, at last it happens, the very earth will shake. If you do not have the understanding needed to wield it, it could prove to be disastrous." She stood again, Lord Elrond rising with her to stand beside her once again, and they peered down at me with impassive faces.  
"We will be leaving in two days time. You still have time to think about what we have discussed...and I do hope that when we leave, you are with us." Lord Elrond saluted me, and then left Lady Galadriel in the garden with me. I put my head in my hands and sighed heavily. Attempting to clear my mind, clear myself from the suffocating power the Lady of Light effused was quite the struggle.  
"You have recalled your memory."  
I took in another deep breath and found my center, a deep, dark heavy weight somewhere inside my soul. I held it in my mind, my heart, and like a ship on the high seas, I weathered the storm and found calmer waters. When I looked up at Lady Galadriel, she took a small step back. I could feel the wolf nearby, and a shiver ran down my spine, pricking my skin.  
"And you are finding your power. But without the strength and knowledge to control it, you can easily be led astray."  
I stood slowly, and I could feel the heat tingling all over my body. I couldn't change now, I just couldn't allow it to happen. I concentrated on Thranduil, I forced his visage to come to the forefront in my mind, and I was able to hold on. I knew it was my fear and displeasure calling the wolf, like a defense mechanism. And I knew Lady Galadriel was right.  
"I would never betray my people, or any free being in Middle Earth for that matter. Control is something I need to learn. You are right, Lady of Light...if I cannot master my emotions, then my wolf will control me. And I cannot allow that." My eyes locked with hers, and though I could feel my wolf retreating, I also realized I was seeing differently, and my teeth were longer and sharper than before. It was right there. "I will take your generous offer under advisement. I wish I could feel free enough to up and leave, but I have only just returned, and there is much to do here as well."  
"Forgive me for being blunt, but dearest Cael...King Thranduil has ruled for hundreds and hundreds of years. There is little chance of doing any harm by leaving, but a very real chance of that should you choose to stay. Please think about it, mellon nin."  
Lady Galadriel was leaving, almost afloat on the vibrations of her own energy. Menawhile mine seethed and pulsed dangerously, and I wondered if it was deliberately instigated. There was a very real chance of it, as if to prove the point that I could be forced to change if put under pressure. All these things buzzed wildly in my mind, and I stared out at the sky to try to quiet my inner racket. It felt like hours had gone by, but the entire exchange couldn't have lasted more than thirty minutes. I watched hues of sunset reds and oranges blaze the sky as the sun slipped further west. I was lost there for a moment, only to be jolted back as Thranduil's hand gently clamped on my upper arm.  
"Are you staying with me, muin nin..."  
The shadowy voice existed only in my mind. I instantly responded, just not aloud.  
"I will not leave my husband." By the time I had realized that I was speaking in his mind, it was already far too late. Thranduil peered down at me as the slightest flicker of shock registered on his face. "I have never been able to do this before. Was it the Lady of Light? Did she...open me up somehow?"  
I could see the 'no' form on Thranduil's lips, but he did not speak. I knew I had been able to speak with him in my mind before, but that was only when he entered it. It seemed I was now able to enter his.  
"If only I had a mirror..."  
As his voice echoed within, Thranduil stood motionless, watching me. I touched my face but felt no difference, and then he grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the darkened caverns...and now I could see the bright amber glow radiating off my skin like a candle. Tears rose in my eyes as confusion swept my mind.  
"Your power grows, Cael. The truth of your existence is unveiling."  
"What do you mean, Thranduil...what is the truth?"  
"You are beyond the reach of my understanding at the moment. I can only urge you to accept the request of the Lord and Lady, and travel to Lothlorien and Rivendell, if only to attempt to fathom...this..." He slowly raised his hand to touch the outer reaches of my aura. His eyes traveled the expanse of it before returning to lock with mine. "You are an extension of me, as I am of you. I have felt your power growing, and as it does it also fills me..." He closed his eyes and I could feel the air vibrating. Cool silver starlight slowly gathered within him and then began to illuminate him, his skin, his hair, and then when he opened his eyes there were no pupils, only white lights glowing at me.  
"Cael...your power emboldens mine..." Even his voice sounded different in my mind, deeper, darker, and far more sonorous. My skin prickled with gooseflesh. "I find myself aroused and intoxicated by it."  
My heart beat in triple time, but he only stared at me for what felt like an age, until he took my hand and led me further inside. Ryvvik was the first elf to approach us, but Thranduil held his hand out.  
"It can wait."  
"But, my lord-"  
Thranduil's head jerked to the side as we passed Ryvvik in a hurry. "I will find you."  
Ryvvik took a step back as he looked into the king's eyes- I knew that expression. Shock and maybe a little terror. Thranduil was walking so fast I could barely keep up, until it felt like he was practically dragging me. We crossed the throne room, passing all the guards, and then down the stairs, as more guards stepped to the side to allow us in to our chambers.  
"Take it all off," Thranduil commanded, this time out loud. I slipped out of my robe, out of my dress, and rested my circlet on the carved wooden nightstand. When I turned around, I found the king stark naked, his profile sheer perfection. He slowly turned his head, and though his glow had not diminished at all, his eyes had returned to normal, if pale blue ice could be considered normal. His face twisted with desire, and he moved fast as lightning to wrap me in his long warm arms. His body was rigid and hot, as if he had a fever. I looked up at him, unable to hide my coy smile.  
"I could never tire of this, and I must have you now," he breathed, pivoting his hips to brush his hard cock against my lower belly. I was already out of breath, running my hands all over his body, as he reached down to cup a breast to slowly squeeze and roll my nipple between his fingertips. I kissed his chest, finding one of his nipples to suckle briefly- his soft moan was delicious to me. I opened my mouth wide to devour his skin with kisses, sinking slowly to my knees. His whine of anticipation was loud, and I could feel my heartbeat in my sex as I neared his navel. I dragged my fingers down his thighs, deliberately avoiding his cock, my mouth going around it to his hip, his groin. My hands ran back up, still avoiding his sex, and I was taking my time kissing the top of his thigh.  
"Do not tease me so," he hissed in a dark voice choked with hunger. I blew air on the tip of his aching cock, and then down along the shaft as the head throbbed against my cheek, leaving a trail of wetness on my skin. I kissed the base of his sex and slowly made my way up the underside, my tongue tracing patterns until I was back at the head again. I ran my nails up his calves, his thighs, and I could feel the muscles trembling there. He was out of breath too, and I stole a look up, only to be faced with his dark and stormy expression- looked like he was running out of patience. I attempted to wrap both my hands around him and took him in my mouth, tasting that strange spicy tang, and his groan of relief echoed through the room. My hands weren't wet enough to stroke him without hurting him, and I broke from him only to spit in my palms, and then I resumed the stroking and pulling on him with everything I had. His legs trembled, his knees were practically knocking. If it was true that what I was doing was forbidden, he was definitely not trying to stop me, not this time, nor any other times. His long fingers wound into my hair as his voice carried the passion and pleasure he was experiencing through me, into me, making me moan back to him.  
"...when, when will you stop..." His voice was a breathless mutter.  
"Never," I breathed, and drove down on him, taking him so deep I could feel him pulsing against the back of my throat. His stuttering cry was deeply satisfying to me, and I could feel my body begging for release now, too.  
"...don't you see what you've done to me...reduced me to a whimpering kitten..."  
And before I could react, he had me up and thrown on the bed in one deft motion.  
"It is most unbecoming to me," he growled, his long platinum hair a luxuriant waterfall against my skin. He devoured my throat in his hungry mouth, his teeth nipping my skin, all the way down as he gathered my breasts in his dexterous hands. I stifled my cry, and the king looked up at me with his burning sapphire gaze. "Let go. I want to hear it all. I deserve it." He resumed his ravenous trail down my body, and my sex ached and throbbed as he neared it. I couldn't help but to let go as he expertly executed an attack on me, soft and hard at the same time, sucking and licking as his fingers entered me, making me gasp and moan. It was unlike ever before, and I couldn't help writhing beneath him as the pleasure gave way to ecstasy. I could feel the wetness, hear it, and I grabbed fistfuls of bedsheets as I cried his name, the sounds of hundreds of horses running at top speed pulsing in my ears and through my body.  
"Yes, yes, that's what I want to hear..." And he knew exactly when it ended, rising up to slide into me, so graceful and perfect I found myself begging for roughness.  
"Harder, more, Thranduil, please!" I was out of control, lost in the throes of passion, my hands on his buttocks as I rose my hips to his to take him in deeper. As he watched me, felt me, the color rose in his cheeks as if he had been slapped.  
"You want me to hurt you?"  
"I want you to hurt me, yes." I looked up into those glowing electric gems in his perfect face. "Please!"  
He drove harder into me, once, twice, watching me carefully, and I arched my back until my face was in the pillows, muffling my cries of ecstasy. I wanted it, wanted him, wanted forever, wanted always, and he was the center of my every desire. He took the pillows from my face and threw them to the floor, and tore the bedsheet up and across my torso to trap my arms against my body, perhaps to stop me from clawing him.  
"Say it..." His voice was a dangerous rasp, and through the haze of my wild abandon I could see his expression darken. "Say my name..."  
"Thranduil!" My voice was mine, and it was not. I was twisting away from him, somehow stronger than him, and then I was up on my knees and holding onto the headboard. He froze for a moment, as if in confusion, and then I felt him finding his way inside me again. "Yes, yes..." I hissed, arching my back into his thrusts. I felt him in a whole new way, and I also could feel the shaky ground he was on as he stuttered and slowed.  
"Anno dulu enni, Eru!" His breathless call for help let me know he was closer to release than he wanted to be, but at the same time I didn't want him to stop. I wanted him more and more, and it was driving me mad. I reached back to take one of his hands and hold it to my breast, and he cursed loudly, pulling out of me to rest himself on my backside.  
"I won't, not yet...I am enjoying this far too much, Cael." His voice was in my head, and I smiled, squeezing his hand in mine as he squeezed my breast. "You are wild and untamed in so many wonderful ways."  
"And you have spent far too long locked away...how lucky am I that we are together? I can help you lose yourself, and watch you unravel with ecstasy."  
Maybe it was the fact that I could speak to him in his mind now, or maybe it was my comment that aggravated him, but he took in a deep breath and was driving deep into me again, his entire length, stretching me, pushing me apart inside. He stayed still enough to chuckle softly.  
"I am the one in control, my dearest, and I will watch you unravel under my will." His voice, like an instrument perfectly played, rushed through me as it echoed through the room. The palm of his hand flattened on my back and pushed, until I was face down into the bed, and he slowly rotated his hips, grinding around inside me, pushing me to my limits. I cried helplessly into the bed, my hands clawing at nothing as I came helplessly in time with his slow pulsing thrusts. I was full of him, mind, body, spirit, soul, and the king laughed darkly. "Will you love me forever, Cael? Are you mine until the end of time?"  
"Yes, forever, yes!" I dragged my face sideways against the sheets until I could see him in my peripheral vision. He was glowing all over like a star going supernova, and I could feel him throbbing his release inside me even before he threw his head back and cried out in that deep orchestral voice, echoing throughout the chambers of our rooms.  
Thranduil was weak as he pulled at me, down onto the bed, our bodies twined, slick with my sweat and maybe a little of his. His body was a perfect statue, but warm and pliable, and wanting me. He held me closely, his every gesture loving and reassuring as we found ourselves in a gentle and endearing embrace.  
"I love you more than I could ever express, my dearest..." His rough whisper tickled my ear as I nuzzled his neck. I combed his hair away from his face, my nails lightly scratching his scalp just enough to make him purr.  
"Will you love me forever, Thranduil?" I could feel him freeze up, and I kissed his throat. " Will your love for me ever change?"  
For a long time he didn't speak, or move. "I couldn't love you more, Cael...and it will never change. Only one thing could change it..."  
"And what would that be, my lord?" I smiled as I took in a deep breath of his wood and spice smell, mixed with the scent of sex- it was divine.  
"If you were to give me a son or daughter..."  
It was my turn to freeze. "Would you want that?"  
"I have thought of it...and yes, I would. Very much indeed, muin nin." He took my face in his hands and tilted it so I could look up into that unreal countenance of his- perfection in unseen starlight. "We would be a family. And I have not had that in so long..." A stray tear rolled out sideways and hung off his nose before it fell into my hair. I pushed at him until I was on top of him, and I placed my hands on the sides of his head, the few tears he had shed rolled in my palm...I closed my eyes and concentrated on gems, gems...and I became a flashpoint that burst with energy. I could hear Thranduil cursing softly as I opened my eyes to look at him.  
"What have you done?" His expression darkened, and then I let him go, and spilled three tiny emeralds onto his chest. His gasp was priceless.  
"If that is what you want, I would only be so happy to give it to you. That and so much more."  
Thranduil was not one to ever show his shock or surprise. Years of practice, years of pretending to be hardhearted, and the wonder of being part of the race of the Eldar helped him to hide most of his expressions. But his face showed shock, then joy as he beheld the little emeralds as they glistened on the planes of his muscular chest.  
"You..." He smiled like a delighted child, poking at the gems. "You did this. How?"  
"I don't know, I just..thought about it, wanted it. I wanted to return the gift you have given me, though that will never be truly possible."  
Now he fixed me with his stare, one of almost fury. He gathered the gems in his large hand and flipped me onto my back so he could crush me, kissing me over and over, until it became a deep neverending kiss of passion. I was melting all over again, my legs riding up until he fell in between them, and his hair was caressing me even as his hands did. He was full inside me again, and I keened in my throat though our kiss never broke. Slowly, slowly...and I was burning with hunger and a growing tide of power...until he broke from the kiss, breathless as my skin grew hotter and hotter under his touch.  
"It is for me to be forever grateful, Cael..." Harder now, deeper, making me cry out. Would I ever get used to his girth? I let go into another orgasm- I was helpless under his hypnotic control. He seemed to know exactly what to do to bring me to the brink, over and over. Through the slits of my eyes I could see his mouth open and his cheeks red, his eyes glowing blue fire, and I was coming again as his hips rocked me harder, and his body curled me into a ball and trapped me there as he mercilessly fucked me.  
"You are sublime, my love..." His voice, the breathless pant, but still exquisitely piercing. "Beautiful beyond compare...perfect and powerful, and so ripe..." He groaned, losing his composure and ability to speak as he tipped over and spilled out inside me, and this time he cried my name. "I want to fill you endlessly..." Thranduil was breathless and weak as he crashed down on top of me. "Never have I felt so satisfied and joyful..." His lips were against my forehead as he struggled to catch his breath. "And so you must never leave me..."  
"I will not. Not distance, or time, even death or any force of Eru could keep me from you, Thranduil, king of my heart."  
I could feel his smile against my skin, and he began to hum something, a song I was vaguely familiar with but once again could not place, and I found myself lost in the vibration of his voice and the scent of his body, and I was adrift in a blissful wave that carried me out to the sea of dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to add the notes!  
> Olórin- Gandalf  
> Ion nin- my son  
> Le athae- Thank you from the heart  
> No dirweg- Be watchful  
> No i Melain na le- May the Valar be with you  
> Pedil edhellen- Do you speak Elvish?  
> Savo 'lass a lalaith- Have joy and laughter  
> Amin feuya ten lle- You disgust me  
> Nan Belain- By the Valar
> 
> And because I am not cool enough to create my own language, I chose Sanskrit for the intruder-  
> Cirasya- A long time-it's been so long  
> Uhimsaa- Non-violent- I am not violent  
> Na janami- Don't know exactly  
> Zarana- Help/protect me  
> Ekakini bhawitumicchami- Leave me alone
> 
> Please have patience with me :) I am trying to make this as right as possible! Hail Thranduil!


End file.
